My grandma was thin and small. When she died last winter, she huddled together and pushed into the funeral home. My aunt wailed and my uncle stood beside the transfer car with a white scarf. My dear relatives fulfilled their roles in the face of death. For a moment, I felt that life was meaningless. Suddenly, I remembered what Mr. Jin Yong had said in his book "The Story of Slaying the Dragon against the Heavens": "Burning my body, burning with fire, you can enjoy life and die without pain.". I have long had a deep-rooted obsession with death: active choice rather than passive waiting, which of course is related to self cognition. I don't want to be persuaded, and probably the rate will not change.

On the day I came back from my grandmother's funeral, I saw a message about organ donation. I think this is a good way. Although life is not satisfactory, it has not yet developed into an anti personality. Rather than accept this way of turning into ashes, I would rather be soaked in formalin to make the best of it. So I became a volunteer with the tail number of 3391 for human organ donation in China.

Buddhism said: There is nothing important except life and death. In my opinion, both of them are random events that cannot be selected. In my above cognition, they are a relief. Of course, this does not mean that I am not afraid of death, pain, joys and sorrows, loneliness and gloom, but all these are not optional, which means that you can only accept. Of course, I know that I think, so I am here. Of course, I know that when I cross the road, I instinctively look left and right. But it seems that I have come to fatalism, which also seems to be the sadness of many individuals. I died at the age of 28, and was buried at the age of 70. I am more pessimistic, and I feel I have earned at the age of 60. This is the background of my personality that I do not know when to form.

When reading history books, we can often see such descriptions: A army slaughtered B army, 100000, B army pit C army, 300000. These figures are all life, nameless and nameless. In the torrent of history, the powder is not a single particle, rolling forward, invisible in the wind, and wet in the rain. And will we be in this turbulence now?

My friend expressed his concern vaguely. Of course, I am not indifferent. Ten years ago, we tested whether the keyword Liu Xiaobo was blocked by SMS messages. Ten years later, we could see how many Chinese characters have become Pinyin abbreviations. What can you do? Delete some words, clear a little microblog, keep quiet, and do nothing! When the torrent came, at first you fell, then your opponent fell, and finally most of the "digital people" fell. When the wheels rolled over, it was just a second earlier or a second later. At best, I can only hope that medicine will not make too much progress. By the time I am 60 years old, Vladimir Vladimir Putin has not died.

If you hold pessimism for a long time, you will not be too disappointed. If you think about the end, you will not be too afraid.

You and I are just a binary bit in a human computer.

Gentlemen encourage each other

Our view is even that most people are the result of choice rather than thinking. This choice, in turn, affects us. In the end, it is the chicken first and the egg first.

I can give many examples of myself and my own observations, such as Han Han and Guo Jingming.

About 20 years ago, I first came into contact with Han Han's "Triple Gate" after the classroom in junior high school. At that time, I naturally felt close to this kind of campus novel. In addition to the living environment at that time, to tell the truth, there was nothing readable. When a person's brain had great plasticity in his youth, he was confined to the living environment. For example, all of them were a lump, choosing a less smelly one. Later in high school, in a rental house, I also found a shabby "City of Fantasy". I always remember that I was based on the appreciation level at that time, without taking a personal point of view, and felt that the words were beautiful, even the name of the novel's protagonist Sakura Kongshi was unheard of, and Lafeng was in a mess.

In fact, these two contemporaries were the result of choice.

For example, Han Han's criticism of the education system, racing cars, solo groups, Sina blog essays

For example, Guo Jingming's island, the ferris wheel in September, the most novel, making movies and even Brokeback Mountain

For myself, I prefer Han Han. To be honest, I still can't tell which of the two characters is better or smellier. It doesn't matter. If their films are released at the same time, I may choose to buy tickets to support Han Han. But on the other hand, Guo Jingming's Virgo movie "Small Times" won 488 million box office. You should know that Jia Zhangke, a film professional, "The Old Man of Mountains and Rivers" was tired of 100 million box office. This is a great achievement. Of course, you can say that box office is not the only standard for judging movies. I mean: on the other hand, on the other side I hate, There are a lot of people supporting Guo Jingming and his works.

The world is not what you think: as a male, how can there be so many works like such "female cannon"?

I don't understand, which doesn't mean he doesn't exist.

To be honest, I have no confidence in myself. If you want to say that I can think, I have a clear understanding of the source of many of my own views. In the end, many times they are the result of my choice rather than thinking. I often see two completely opposite statements on Weibo and Twitter, which I also think are very reasonable. For example, the epidemic prevention policy against China, one side says that China has a large population base, and opening up is a disaster for the elderly. You can ensure that there is no your parents in the mortality rate, and the other side says that the toxicity of the new crown has become less and less, It's just a big flu. You see, the United States and other countries have opened up. In China, this is a political fight against the epidemic. There are a lot of support and opposition voices on the left and right. However, if these two policies are carried out, no matter which one you choose, there will be a huge cost. No matter which one you choose, there will be another side.

To be honest, I have no confidence, but I am suspicious of any kind of decisive voice, just like there are delicious and Pepsi in this world. Don't be too confident or pessimistic. It's never easy to survive.