Wang Xiaobo quoted Modiano's Dark Shop Street at the beginning of Wanshou Temple, and the first sentence was: My past is hazy. I think they are: nearsighted.

From the first grade of high school, I began to wear glasses intermittently, and after 2007, I have worn glasses for a long time. Nearly 20 years of glasses wearing history, from glass, resin, anti blue light to plastic, gold wire, titanium alloy, two glasses changing frequency in three years, plus some glasses that died unexpectedly, more than a dozen pairs of glasses are available. Fortunately, with the increase of age, the degree of myopia tends to be stable, 400-500 degrees, The astigmatism also tends to be stable, 100-150.

There are some things that go with you. You gradually get used to its existence, but at some moment, you will be tired of it. Maybe it's the lingering rain drops on rainy days, maybe it's the fog when turning off the lights to eat noodles, or maybe one morning in winter you put on a mask and constantly adjust the nose rest of the mask, and finally you choose to escape.

In fact, as early as 2010, I knew the existence of femtosecond. At that time, the company's front desk had just finished the surgery, and a few drops of sodium hyaluronate were needed from time to time. Later, I met a colleague who had just finished the surgery. Because of the nature of the work, I chose to change the post, and the information I got was very good, nothing unusual, but I still felt uneasy. Compared with the disability of other organs of the body, The last thing I can accept is that I am blind.

So in this tangle, I read a lot of Zhihu's articles from front to back, some said dry eye disease, some said halo, some regret, some happy description, wow, eyes bright. Later, I learned probability theory and the "survivor bias". I heard Wan Xiaoli's All Things Are Not As Bad as I Think. I think that the chance of five million in my life is not my turn. It's my turn to be blind.

So, in the morning of this early spring, I want to go and have a look. According to the age of my father, there is at least 20 years of time when he will not be dim.

So optometry, intraocular pressure measurement, fundus observation, corneal thickness, mydriasis, a set of processes down, directly choose to do surgery.

In fact, there were several sets of surgical schemes at that time, half femtosecond, full femtosecond, personalized customization, and the price was 128001580016800. I was not very interested in these marketing terms. My consumption concept was: "expensive is good". I learned this principle from an English teacher named Xu Cen, former Lao Luo and his friends. Later, because I was poor, This principle has been revised: "within the range of ability, choose the most expensive one", so I did not choose ICL crystal implantation, because the cost of crystal implantation is 30000 yuan, which is not affordable.

So he asked for leave, began to drip levofloxacin, and began to do fixation training on his index finger like a silly fork.

On Thursday morning, my friend drove me to the hospital. Register, go to the second floor to pay the fee, recheck before surgery, drop eye drops, understand the surgical process, and then go to the third floor for surgery.

At the beginning of the operation, I wanted to go to the toilet while waiting for the call. I had friends there. I thought I could not lose my share too much. Then I went into the operation preparation room, put on my hair jacket and clean clothes, and listened to the two girls talking about who the doctor was, what the operation plan was, where it came from, and when I wanted to do this operation. I had no desire for gossip. Fortunately, I had many years of meditation experience, staring at my nose and adjusting my breathing. Then it's face cleaning. I don't know whether to use iodophor or hydrogen peroxide. In short, it's like a lamb to be slaughtered.

Finally, he entered the operating room and sat down on a round stool. The man in front of me, lying on the operating table like a general teacher, entered a confined space and then came out. It took only three or four minutes.

Finally, it's my turn. In a flash, I was a bit absent-minded. There was a clean cloth on my face and only two eyes were exposed. Someone gave me eyedrops, which might be anesthetic. I didn't know. Then the doctor put an eye band on me to prevent blinking. At this time, a green cross cursor appeared right above me. The doctor asked me to stare at the cursor, and then I felt a knife cut my cornea. It was silky, like a Flying Eagle razor blade across the frosted glass. The doctor said that the cooperation was very good, and then the right eye was silky, I know, Maybe it was only 20 seconds before my cornea was flattened. I could not describe that feeling accurately, but my consciousness told me that my cornea should be flat at this time.

I stood up against Ma Pingchuan's cornea and went to another machine next door. According to my understanding, this machine was to plant a convex lens on my flattened cornea. The doctor beside me calculated how many degrees I should add or subtract from this convex lens. Then I smelled a burnt paste smell, and I saw a brush scratch over my eyes, I think this may be the end of the treatment of the mirror to prevent any debris, followed by another eye, soon. I think of Ai Qing's famous song: Why do my eyes often contain tears, because you are doing femtosecond surgery.

After I got off the operating table, my eyes were clear. I was timid and walked out of the operating room with great strides.

My friend handed me my coat, mobile phone and glasses. When I looked at the glasses, I didn't throw them away in a formalistic way. Sometimes when we get together and leave, we may still need them someday. Of course, I hope the next pair of glasses is presbyopic glasses.

I felt fine when I went out of the hospital gate, but I felt different on the way back. Like the immune system of the human body, my eyes soon felt the invasion of alien species. The sun was just right that day. I pulled the dressing mirror on the car and saw myself holding the Wowotou in my hands. There was no drop of oil in the food, and tears could not stop flowing down.

The only way to relieve worries is to sleep.

When I got home, I went back to sleep. At three o'clock when I woke up, I went for the first reexamination, and my vision returned to 1.0. Then I opened a bunch of eye drops. A month later, I would deal with sodium hyaluronate, polyvinyl alcohol, diclofenac sodium, and cyclosporine.

Of course, it's not so magical. I didn't experience the feeling of bright eyes. At present, the vision of hyperopia has recovered, but the near vision of computers and mobile phones still needs to be improved. The doctor said it's normal. I can feel a circle of light at the incision of my cornea. I also learned what hyperopia is and what presbyopia is in advance. It takes time, My eyes have been used to the haziness for twenty years, and suddenly they haven't completely adapted. On the propaganda page of the hospital, I also saw that myopia would recover to its best within a week to a month.

Although I'm a little worried, I still feel very good on the whole. The most boring thing is to stare at the billboard in the distance after dropping eyedrops and read the words on it:

Prosperity, democracy, civilization, harmony