The year 2017 has passed. For me, the Spring Festival has not passed, and I can still relax and linger, because for me born in 1988, whether I want to admit it or not, in 2018, my false or real age has already started to enter the threshold of 30. As a young loser in literature and art, I had more than one fantasy. One evening when I was 30 years old, the sun went down, my eyes were full of gentle treatment to the world, and I ran along the Tuohe River landscape belt, taking a big breath, talking to myself silently. Later, I felt too fucking affectation, not like the image of a greasy middle-aged man at the age of 30.  

I basically write a record every year. The biggest change in the past 2017 is from the body. The weight keeps increasing, and it returns to 85kg. The hairline retreats. In the trident hairstyle, the waist of the isosceles triangle is getting longer and longer. I think that except for the Buddhist hairstyle system, there may be nothing suitable for my hairstyle. Then there is the double blow of the double chin, and the neck shrinks back, The whole head looks like the round Gulu head added at the end of a snowman. The most despairing thing is undoubtedly the increasing "sage time". Wang Xiaobo wrote in the Silver Age: "The future world is silver", which is different from the "My little monk points to the sky with unprecedented size" in the Golden Age. Hitachi is no longer here, but Microsoft has come.  

Then I thoroughly realized that I was "not the material for writing". Many years ago, I read the dialectic relationship between creative talent and creative impulse mentioned in the preface of Qian Zhongshu's Fortress Besieged. I still have the meaning of a newborn calf, but now it is completely gone. In the middle of the year, I tried to write and wrote a piece of "Xiongfeng Hotel". The core of this story has been in my mind for a long time. When I really wrote it, I found that it was dog shit. Fortunately, it was over. I comforted myself that this is Carver's minimalist, Hemingway's iceberg, and I was still a little confident at that time. I was going to get a collection of more than ten short stories this year, As a result, when I wrote the second article Maslow's Needs, I completely stopped thinking. The beginning of this article was written a long time ago. I thought it was good and kept it, but it was still written like vomiting blood, and I wanted to die. Then learn from the bitter experience. People's time is limited, and their life is limited. It doesn't mean that there is no way to fight with the limited.  

But I still like writing, and occasionally I have a strong desire to express myself, so I'm going to change my way, and I won't touch novels in the future. Writing reading notes, writing literary reviews, expressing feelings, and expressing opinions is a thorough explanation for myself. After all, when you were young, you made great wishes. So you still felt a little faint. So I comforted myself and said, "Look, when you were young, you did nothing. Writing novels was the cheapest job, and you always had the best way to go. Unexpectedly, you dodged halfway this time. Go, go, and people will always learn to grow up slowly. This will make you feel much better.".  

Then I finally got some spare money this year, and started a fierce struggle among P2P, stock market and funds. Fortunately, I was lucky, P2P didn't run away, and the stock market was good. From this, I was forced to read some books on investment, which was very interesting. Of course, I used to disdain it. I think people's growth is mostly to keep making peace with themselves, to look at themselves, to stop delusion, to accept mediocrity. Even Obama came to China to shake hands with WeChat business representatives to earn some extra money after retirement. To paraphrase a poem from Beidao, when we had a dream and woke up, it was all sound of broken dreams.  

Another thing worth mentioning is that I gradually feel that many things are repeated. You have encountered them before, and you will encounter them later, including mistakes. If you don't summarize them, you will probably make mistakes later. After all, people are also emotional animals. After all, I read a book called "Principles" by Ray Dalio, the founder of Bridgewater Fund, It contains some principles that he has been summarizing for decades. After dialectical correction, trial and error, they are constantly added. I think these methods are good, so I'm going to put a principle on the website in 2018, summarize some aspects of work, life and thought, and think about it carefully as a memo of my own. For example, the following:

• A self disciplined life is the source of happiness.  
  This is the truth that I didn't understand until I was nearly 30 years old. Previously, I was only vaguely developing in this direction, but now I can finally sum up this sentence. A temporary indulgence and lack of self-discipline can indeed give people a temporary happiness beyond the normal level, but long-term happiness is absolutely based on continuous self-discipline, so I will take this as my first principle.
• People's opinions vary widely, but their actions tend to converge.  
  People are all animals that seek benefits and avoid disadvantages, but the rhetoric function of language is too powerful. If you want to distinguish one by one, it is not impossible, but it is too difficult. For example, Russell said that "you are capricious, he is obstinate, and I am obstinate." These three words actually have the same meaning, but they are too emotional and have a strong tendency. So it's better to focus more on people's actions and understand the intention behind people's actions.
• If you decide to do something, do it. In the process of doing it, do everything possible to find a way, not to find excuses, not to deny yourself. But we should be cautious when we first decide to do this.  
  I always start something easily and give up something easily. It is absolutely not difficult and certainly not easy to reject perfectionism and have relatively mature small products.

The annual plan will not be written this year. Generally speaking, it is basically impossible to complete it. Short term small goals are OK. Long term goals are always changing and simply give up.

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