Yan Xi:

    Hello, Yanxi. The moon goes down in the west. There is only one star shining between two concrete floors. Although it looks small, you don't know how big it is or how brilliant its energy is. Because of my relationship with your father, theoretically, you should call me Second Uncle. Of course, you can also call him by his first name. When you came to the world in 2012, rumors of the end of the world spread. Like many rumors, when the first ray of light came down in 2013, the rumor broke down. The world is full of rumors, deceit, lies and hypocrisy. Don't be afraid, because eventually you will do the same, doing things you can't help yourself and saying things you can't help.

Your birth was an accident. Whether you want to admit it or not, many times we were kicked at the door and opened the door when we were not fully prepared, just like the week you were tangled in the delivery room, you would be suddenly torn open by a knife. At first, God created heaven and earth, the earth was empty and chaotic, the abyss was dark, and the spirit of God ran on the water, God said, If there is light, there is light. Your grandfather hoped you were a boy at first, but you were not. All the outcomes are unpredictable. Remember the cause and effect and this contingency, and believe in the invisible power and full of awe.

There is no denying that your arrival has brought us many surprises. You also have a grandmother, who must be very happy to know about it. Unfortunately, she left us a year before your birth and went to a very far place, where there are flowers and water, and the sun is abundant. It is a good place to rest. One day we will all go there. She is tired, very tired, So I went ahead of time. I believe she will always be waiting for us, and then we will have a reunion and toast.

My first impression of women in my life came from your grandmother, so I want to tell you about your grandmother. She is a woman whose heart is higher than the sky and her life is as thin as paper, so her life is full of ups and downs. There is no right or wrong choice, but the choice will take you step by step to places you think of or don't think of, and we can't predict. I remember your grandmother told me that she was young at that time. She retired because of a red woolen cloth. Later, she came out of home and came to Hefei alone. She met your grandfather through matchmaking. Many years later, she met the person who had made the engagement again. Your grandmother and your great grandmother were together. Your great grandmother was embarrassed, but she smiled and said that it had been so many years, Who can remember that year. In the same time and space, choosing one road means giving up another or many roads. Maybe there is no your father, me and you. When you can choose independently, it is always good to be cautious.

In the winter of 2004, when I was a sophomore in senior high school, my family was in a bad situation. Your grandmother wanted to go out to work to help with her family. I remember that it was foggy that morning, and I had not yet come to class to read in the morning. At the door of a steamed stuffed bun shop, your grandmother came to the town early from home with two bags of rice. She saw me drag me to the house I rented outside the school at that time, and explained to me while walking, saying that tears were streaming down my cheeks. At that time, silver hair and cold fog were attacking, and I suddenly realized that time could not be stopped, Maybe one day you will suddenly understand that the things you used to think would suddenly change.

In 2010, I had nothing to do. I had to live and work with your grandpa and grandma. Your grandpa was an old carpenter. One day, your grandpa went out to repair tools. Only your grandma and I were left. When we left, the light box in the hallway was still far from being sealed. Your grandma was impatient and opened the gypsum board by herself. The gypsum board was full of plaster ash after being opened by the electric saw, Your grandmother doesn't care. When stepping on the ladder, climbing up and down, and sealing the last light box, I suddenly saw your grandmother's frostbitten face, eyelashes, and nostrils full of white plaster ash. I suddenly felt sincere guilt. I said to myself at that time that I would be dutiful and let your grandmother live a good life in the future, but I never had a chance, even now I have no ability, Many times you realize that you may not be able to do it, and you may not have the opportunity to do it.

There are also many things about ideal, love, life and destiny, which are not accurately defined. As you grow up, you need to understand by yourself. All things are right or wrong, and it is good to be yourself.

Ancient is

2:01, March 16, 2013

Summer of 2004

    Hello, in the summer of 2004, when you were 17 years old, your body was crazy and you were full of curiosity and imagination about the world. The world is so big that nothing can stop you. If you want to, you can look down from the clouds and look up in the middle of the month, and there will never be such a scene in your life. Today, you are content with the status quo, disappointed with yourself, smoking and drinking, just a living corpse. Occasionally, small struggles have no starting point, so you also completely die, compromise with the world, and yield to yourself. You think that the process of life is to constantly lose the beautiful words of youth, love, ideal, and friends, which you now think is just a fart, Even farts are not. They all gradually disappear and lose. You are too lazy to take care of them. The final outcome is the same, but the time is long and short, and the process is good and bad.

However, in the summer of 2004, you were not like this. When the evening wind hit, you lay outside the house of your hometown to enjoy the cool, looking at the vast Milky Way, with dew in your dream, and the early sun shining on the mosquito net. In the long summer, you will go to take a bath in the big pond of the neighboring village with SC on time in the afternoon of the day every day, and then steal a melon from someone else's melon field in the moonlight before going to bed at night. The largest melon is usually the kind covered with grass. You carry a snake skin bag and a melon weighing three or four kilograms. You are swaggering in the moonlight, singing songs, and look fearless. At that time, you had just learned how to surf the Internet. You would ride a bike for an hour from home in the middle of the night in the rain to surf the Internet in the town, pretending to be depressed, pretending to be sad, listening to Park Tree's "Those Flowers", and then cheering cheering cheering cheering and then braved the rain to go home from the town to make up for sleep. At that time, you read the first pornographic novel, learned to masturbate, and compared with SC, you had to masturbate more than a few times a night. You thought it was great. Say four, SC said seven, you said nonsense, and you expressed deep doubt, SC explained that the first one who didn't come out didn't believe it. Shit, another one came out, but still didn't come out. He was so surprised that he didn't dare to do it again. He saw the first so-called "yellow video", SC said that he went to eat at his relatives' home in the town on New Year's Day, and then came back to pick up food on the street stall. He carefully hid it in his own food store. In order to contribute to you as an experienced person, you and SC, SXF's three cats were in the second floor attic of SXF's house. Damn it, their facial features were destroyed and they were disappointed. You only remember that it was an old beautiful film. The man was thick and dark, the woman was like a flower basket, and there were snakes, donkeys, horses and other livestock in it. It was totally beyond your imagination. Your later rejection of the old beauty was probably a shadow left by that time.

At that time, you vaguely felt that the girl was beautiful and indispensable in life, and a tension from inside to outside was surging against you. You felt that you wanted to fight with the world, even if you were crushed to pieces, but until now, you have never fought with the world, but have been killed by the world. You never give up, constantly compromise, and constantly comfort yourself, As a result, the world is so big that you become a real mole ant. When you carry food that you can move, you begin to prepare winter food in summer, and you start to panic when there is no overnight meal.

But in the summer of 2004, you didn't care about food and vegetables. You just wanted to take dreams as horses, go to a distant place, and see the prosperity of the world. You wanted to hide in the mountains after the prosperity ended, and then you survived. You built a house with adobe, dug a well, found a salt mine, and produced salt grains by yourself. You grew cotton and soybeans. In winter, you could plant radish seeds, and in summer, lentils climbed onto the rack, You light a cigarette that you dry yourself, sit on the stump in front of the door facing the wind, and you think I have nothing to ask for in my life, just want this, just want this.

The snow drifted in the sky. It snowed for three days and three nights in a row. You lay beside the stove with the fire burning. You stroked a red fox that had nowhere to go. The two people depended on each other. You felt that the river was declining and the stars were changing.

The wind is blowing. I hope you can still remember the stories and innocent ideas of the summer of 2004.

Ancient is

22:45, March 14, 2013

Angel.Wu

              Hello, in the spring of 2005, we began to know each other and tried to enter each other's world. I remember that day, the snow was beautiful in spring. When it fell to the ground, the dim street lights would quickly fade and become golden. Later, the sky cleared up, and the dusk outside the bungalow was cool and humid. The tall silver fir trees directly blocked the apartment behind. I always lied to myself that your profile was beautiful that day. In fact, it was an excuse, including many stories later, and I told many lies. I remember that afternoon, on the stone chair in the park, I confessed to you that when I left you, I had a substantive relationship with a girl, chased your friend, and was encouraged to chase after an existence that was enough to make you jealous, but actually had no substantive progress. You turned away, which made me feel that the truth was as beautiful and ugly as a lie.

In many memories, I began to learn to selectively forget, and gradually you will leave my memories, so there is no sense of self pity. With the growth of physical and psychological age, you know that we will all branch off from one river and then walk into another river without stopping. At that time, the grass on the river was still luxuriant and the flowers were falling, But in addition to flowing eastward into the sea, otherwise we can no longer meet, some sad, but helpless.

In the summer night, oars and lights on the Yulan Bridge, the smell of peanuts growing in the dark water wind, and the headlights on the truck are too bright to open their eyes. When walking across the bridge, there are sometimes people in twos and threes who sing loudly, or become intoxicated, and even walk unsteadily. This is always the case when leaving, I went to a small town in the north. When you were in the south, your time was like water. We met different people and different stories.

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