It's another rainy Sunday night. In such a weather, you can always feel comfortable when drinking tea, blowing the wind, and writing. Sometimes I feel that I am an alternative. In most fields that men are interested in, such as football, basketball, gambling, racing, games, and online writing, I have almost no interest. Most of the time, I just want to stay in one place alone. I don't want to go anywhere, and I don't want to see anyone. This kind of solitude or residence always makes me feel very comfortable. As a post-80s generation, as a person with a QQ number of 4 to 9 digits, I have never had contact with any stranger in the virtual world, and finally become a friend. If you insist on talking about social phobia, it's not so bad. You can have several friends in real life and make several new friends at work, but you rarely take the initiative to contact.

Then I want to write about the hobby of writing. Today, I accidentally read that the blog has been established for seven or eight years, and it has been ten years since I saw it. To tell the truth, I'm not sure whether writing is a hobby, because according to my understanding, a hobby is at least full devotion. In this regard, I can't do it. It's OK to write, and it's OK not to write. The blog has not been updated for about half a year.

When I was 28 or 29 years old, I realized that I might not become a writer, or even a writer. The number of words I can operate is within 1000 words, but it is a little difficult to operate more than 2000 words. When I was young and ignorant, I also wrote the beginning of several novels, but later there was no following. He also swore never to touch novels and waste time, but after a period of time, he secretly wrote again, and then gave up again and again.

I haven't read any books. I've never read the complete works of a writer systematically. Even Jin Yong Gu Long has only read one or two books. Lack of spirit, lack of social contact, and not a natural talent, of course, even online writers can not do well. Just like playing chess, some people play chess all their lives, but they are still a lousy chess basket. But sometimes the stinky chess basket also has unique skills. I think I have been immersed in writing for so many years. The only thing I feel a little confident about is a book or a paragraph of text. I can read it and know whether it is bad or not. This is probably due to the improvement of language sense brought by long-term writing.

I once thought that I would improve my writing skills, probably to be able to write such sentences as "paper ash flying, new wind wild". For this reason, I also read the Records of the Historian and Zizhi Tongjian, but later I gave up. Accepting my own mediocrity is a remarkable feature of hormone withdrawal. I don't have that young skill, and I don't have that mental strength when I grow up, so that's it.

Later, when I wrote, I mostly regarded writing as a release of expression. For example, when I wrote this article, I began to be irritable. I wanted to end it as soon as possible. It felt like I was addicted to smoking. So I sometimes admire those Internet writers who have been writing for decades. Of course, they are profit driven, but they can make a habit of doing something, and do success lessons without stopping for days. I think this is probably the so-called Zen.

I may be too short-sighted, and want to see the results as soon as possible, and want to complete as soon as possible, but it seems that nothing can be easily completed, and the process of cultivation is always difficult. As for people, there is still a long way to go between knowing and doing.

Maybe in the future, I will write a long article. Of course, this is always hope, hope still has to be there.