One day, a lady with a child came all the way to visit Darwin, a scientist, and asked: "Excuse me, Mr. Darwin, I want to educate this child well. When do you think it should start?" Darwin looked at the lady and asked with concern: "How old is this child?" "Two and a half years old." "Oh! Madam, it's a pity that you are two and a half years late! " Darwin answered with emotion. This story is today's theme: early childhood education should not be "waiting", but should be valued from birth. The cultivation of self-consciousness is the theme of education before the age of 3.
Another interesting psychological experiment:
A psychologist came across such an interesting thing when doing animal experiments. Give a little monkey some wood blocks, which can be exchanged for sugar. Later, when the wood blocks are used up, the little monkey scratches his head and wants sugar but has nothing to change! Suddenly, the little monkey raised its tail and held it out to the psychologist as a barter, meaning that it could be eaten for sugar? This behavior made psychologists laugh. Why talk about this experiment? Because if you are a person, you will not use a part of your body to exchange. Because people have self-awareness, they can distinguish themselves from the things around them, so they also have the ability to protect and adjust themselves. In psychology, the difference between humans and animals is usually divided by "self-consciousness".
[What is self-consciousness?]
So what is self-consciousness? As the name implies, self-awareness is a person's understanding and evaluation of himself, which can also be conversely referred to as "conscious self", that is, to know himself. With self-consciousness, people can control and adjust their own thoughts and behaviors to form a complete personality.
Self awareness refers to the awareness of one's own physical and mental activities, that is, one's own understanding of oneself, specifically including understanding one's own physical condition (such as height, weight, posture, etc.), psychological characteristics (such as interest, ability, personality, etc.), and one's own relationship with others (such as the relationship between oneself and others around, one's own position and role in the collective, etc.). The formation principles of self-consciousness include correct self cognition, objective self-evaluation, positive self promotion and concern for self growth. In different stages of life, the formation of self-consciousness has its own characteristics. Today, we talk about the sprout of self-consciousness before the age of 3.
[Is self-consciousness inherent?]
Psychology points out that people are not born with self-awareness. Only when children reach a certain stage of development can they form self-awareness. First of all, newborn babies cannot be aware of their own existence. In other words, babies within 4 months do not know that they have a body! Of course, they don't know that they have hands and feet. Even if they see them, they don't think they belong to them. Like a chicken in an eggshell, self-awareness has not yet broken out of its shell. Babies only play and suck their fingers and toes as toys, but they don't realize that "this is my hand!"
[Stage of formation and development of self-consciousness]
1、 Be aware of all parts of your body (5-9 months)
With the development of cognitive ability and adult education, babies began to move from sucking fingers to the external environment, and they began to like the toys that shake sticks and make sounds. They suck their fingers and use their small hands to move their feet. At the same time, they chew and suck their feet with the sound of babbling. Get different feelings from it, and then start to realize that hands and feet are part of your body, but toys are not, because the feeling is different! After realizing that "it's my hand!", the baby was able to grasp things with his own hands and responded to his name. When we use a name to call babies, they will know that this is me!
In this stage, the exploration function of the hand helps the development of self-consciousness to a great extent. The mother will find that the baby is very interested in the mirror, because there is a strange guy in it! To look at it, approach it, smile and babble, but cannot recognize his own appearance in the mirror. The baby only thinks: "Who is that guy?!"
2、 9-12 months (1 year old) of understanding of their own actions
About nine months later, they gradually found their own actions and movements, as well as the subjective feelings brought about by this action, and then suddenly realized the special relationship between their own actions and the results of their actions through an accidental action, and constantly repeated to verify the existence of this relationship. For example, when the baby accidentally throws the plush toy in his hand, he finds that the toy is thrown far away. Then, the baby will consciously throw the toy out again and again. In the process of repetition, they gradually distinguish the relationship between their actions and the objects of their actions (toys), and begin to distinguish between their actions and the objects of their actions. "I can throw it far away!" This is the most primary form of self-consciousness, that is, I am different from toys.
3、 Learn to use your own name (12-15 months)
Learning to use their own names is a huge leap in the development of self-awareness, indicating that they can distinguish themselves from others. (Yaya eats... For example, ask him: who owns the apple? He will answer: "Yaya." Ask who wants to eat the apple? He will answer: "Yaya.") But at this time, children only understand the name as their own signal, not "This is my name". Therefore, when he met another child with the same name, he felt a little confused and did not know why he also called him that signal.
4、 Consciousness of self body: 1. 5 to 2 years old.
1. Psychological experiment: red dot test
In 1972, psychologists at the University of North Carolina conducted such an experiment: when a baby was asleep, they put rouge on its nose. When the baby woke up, they asked him to look in the mirror. The results showed that some 15 month old babies would look in the mirror and touch their nose with rouge on it; However, the vast majority of infants do not show this behavior until 21 months later. As a result, psychologists have concluded that infants' self-awareness is formed around the age of one year and eight months.
2. Realize the existence of "I".
After the age of two, children can gradually understand the personal pronouns "I, you, he", and master the possessor pronoun "mine" and the personal pronoun "I" in life, thus realizing another leap in the development of self-awareness, marking the formation of their true self-awareness. Therefore, when the baby says to you, "I......", the mother should repeat: "You......" to promote the baby to meet the internal needs of self sense.
3. Be aware of the internal state of the body.
For example, "I have a stomachache". At this time, the initial self-concept also appeared, and the intentions of "give me", "I want", "I will", "I will", and "I will come by myself" began to appear. Babies of two or three years old began to express their own opinions and independence. When adults put forward some requirements, the baby would refuse or deliberately refuse to listen, often saying "I don't!". In behavior, the baby showed a willingness to take the initiative to participate in family services, which led to a mess. Or serious rebellious psychology, obvious hostility, that is the rapid development of self-awareness. Mothers don't have to cry because of this. At the end of the article, there are corresponding tips to help you solve your problems.
5、 Cognition of self psychological activities: after 2 years old.
1. Blushing and shyness: Babies begin to understand the difference between "I want to do" and "I should do". After doing something wrong, they know to blush and be shy. This is a very pleasing expression of "self-awareness", called shame. Shame is the prerequisite for the formation of baby's self-evaluation. At the moment, the baby just stays at the level of feeling to experience itself, instead of rising to the stage of systematic self-evaluation.
2. Self evaluation: Babies can compare themselves with others to get a simple self-evaluation. For example, "Brother is high." Due to the limitation of cognitive level, the self-evaluation generated after the age of 2 is very simple, and largely depends on the evaluation of adults, using copied language to retell the outside world. From 3 to 5 years old, self-evaluation has a slightly complex meaning. Therefore, the development of self-evaluation is slow, and it develops slowly with the help of feedback from the external environment.
Now that we have come to this point, it is necessary to remind all mothers that most of the self-evaluation of babies comes from mothers, and mothers' values and outlooks on life are transmitted to your babies in various ways, both in language and non language, from different angles and levels. In other words, the baby's feeling of "good" or "not good enough" almost all depends on the mother's value system. There is a saying in psychology that "moms should study hard and babies should make progress every day." That is the truth. I hope all moms can gain more growth in Parent Child and lead the growth of babies.
3. Possessiveness: "This is mine!"
Children's strong desire for toys will lead to some conflicts and unpleasant feelings, but it represents the mature development of self-consciousness. At this moment, parents should definitely say: "Yes, this is yours! It is not hers!" and then give children guidance on "sharing". The order between the two is very important. It must be "yours" before "can share". This is a problem that is often faced in family education. I hope that mothers will not blame their children for their quality problems.
[The magic weapon of self-consciousness development: mirror]
In psychology, the mirror is a very effective tool. Here is a summary of the cultivation of baby's self-consciousness by the mirror.
The baby's reaction in front of the mirror is very interesting. At the beginning, they will regard the mirror as a game partner, kiss it, and stick to its face. It is a great magic weapon to accelerate the development of self-awareness through mirrors! So, how should mothers help their babies know themselves by "looking in the mirror"?
1-2 year old baby: use a mirror to attract attention. The 1-2 year old baby does not have a clear understanding of himself, but when he sees a baby of his own size, he will clap his hands happily and can't wait to play with others. The curious baby likes to look at the mirror very much. The mother can set a mirror in the baby's room, and often talk to the baby in the mirror: "Look at the baby! Where is the mother? There! Here!" The mirror game is very interesting. Although the baby can't realize that it is him in the mirror at this time, he can see "himself in the mirror", He will touch and tap curiously to attract the attention of "the other party" and babble in the mirror.
Usually, when the mother dresses the baby, she can take him to the mirror and let him dress with the "little guy" in the mirror, or put the mirror in front of the baby when he just wakes up and let him say hello to the "little guy". Until the baby found that this "little guy" always did the same action as himself, understood that "that's me!" and formed a preliminary self-awareness.
2~3 years old: Know yourself by looking in the mirror. 2-3 year old babies will begin to realize their own existence and know that the "little guy" in the mirror is himself. At this time, he will observe his appearance curiously. At this time, the mother can sit in front of the mirror with the baby, pointing to the image in the mirror and saying to him: "This is the mother, this is the baby." After the baby understands who is in the mirror, he can take him to know his five facial features, pointing to the eyes and saying: "This is the baby's eyes. The baby has two eyes, just like the mother..." This promotes the rapid development of self-awareness. After the baby knows the facial features, he can ask him from time to time: "Tell mother, where are the baby's eyes?" Let him use his fingers to get out of his eyes and deepen his learning.
Babies around 3 years old will use the principle of "looking in the mirror" to evaluate themselves. This is advanced! Because it has risen to the category of psychology. From the age of 3, the baby's self-awareness will also gradually improve, starting from the physiological level to the social level (kindergarten), and they will begin to recognize and evaluate themselves from the aspects of appearance, personality, interpersonal communication, etc. In this process, how to make the baby form a positive self-consciousness? The interpersonal environment is very important. For babies, mothers are their original human-computer environment.
As the saying goes, mother is the first mirror of a baby. The baby is still in the embryonic stage of self-consciousness, and does not know how to judge right or wrong, but the baby already knows how to judge himself by listening to his mother's evaluation. If his mother praises him: "The baby is so smart!", he will be happy to think that he is a smart child. At this time, parents naturally become the "first mirror" of the baby. This is called "labeling" in psychology. What kind of label you put, what kind of baby will appear.
However, it should be noted that the attitude and evaluation of the baby should be consistent. If the father always praises: "The baby is really good!", but the mother often blames him: "You are really disobedient, not good at all!", then the baby will be confused: "Am I good or not?" Educational problems caused by educational differences have become very common, that is, differences between parents can not be presented in front of the baby, Go to your private space to discuss, reach an agreement or decide who's the main point of view, and then appear in front of the baby! Don't bring the adult's confusion into the baby's simple world.
[ Two classic questions about self-consciousness ]
1. The baby always tries to do all kinds of things to show himself, and then makes a mess of things. What should we do?
This is the result of the development of baby's self-consciousness. We should learn from Dayu's flood control and guide!
First, make sure your baby is proactive. For example: "Baby is so sensible!" "Baby is so capable!" Then, try to participate in and guide the baby to do what he wants to do, divide a thing into several parts, and assign those extremely simple parts to him. For example: "The baby is responsible for turning on the tap, and the mother is responsible for washing the dishes!"
2. The baby rebelled. The more he refused to do, the more he wanted to do. If he refused, he would cry. What should he do?
Reversal is the expression of independence, which is the subjective emotional reaction of the baby to distinguish himself from others. Here we emphasize "emotion"! The rebelliousness in this period mainly lies in emotion, not in behavior.
Although we cannot blindly meet any requirements of the baby, we cannot limit too much. It is easy to cultivate a willful and stubborn character if you are satisfied. Too much restriction will also hurt your baby's self-esteem and lack self-confidence and self-reliance. Many mothers feel caught off guard and contradictory. In fact, the method is very simple! As long as you learn to successfully divert your baby's attention and attract him with other things, let him temporarily separate from what he insists on doing for a while, and soon he will forget the original things. Because emotion is the core of rebellion, when the emotional state changes, the rebellious behavior will inevitably change. This method only works for children around 3 years old. Children in adolescence (the second retrograde period) are not easy to use.
Source of this article: Sina blogger Yantai Psychological Consultant Zhou Jin Blog
