picture Recently, Ms. Meng is worried because her daughter Lily, a fifth grader, will hold her mobile phone and send text messages to her classmates every day. Once when Lily's mobile phone was charging, a text message happened to come. After reading it, Ms. Meng found that she had nearly 100 messages with a boy in a day. In addition to greetings such as "Are you asleep?", there were also advertisements such as "I miss you very much" and "I like you very much.".
In fact, the boy was a classmate of Lily's former school. Last year, Ms. Meng found that Lily had a close relationship with the boy. She asked her daughter and the boy's classmates privately, and found that her daughter was "in love" with the boy. Ms. Meng immediately transferred her daughter to another school. Unexpectedly, after changing to a new school, my daughter and the boy still often send text messages.
Ms. Meng wondered whether the current young girls were precocious, and whether they had started "puppy love" at such a young age?
Grade 5 students have been "in love" for three years
They meet and get married when they grow up
case
"A few days ago, I said on the chat tool that 'Auntie Hitru' showed her love to Mengmeng, but she didn't respond to me. I don't think she knew that this was the Japanese meaning of 'I love you'!" The 11 year old Xiaojie said that his classmate Mengmeng was his girlfriend, and they had been "in love" for three years.
Xiaojie recalled that the first time he told Mengmeng that it was in the second grade, they played horizontal bars on the school playground. Xiaojie had been brewing for a long time and held it for half an hour before he shyly said to Mengmeng, "I like you very much..." At that moment, Mengmeng blushed like an apple. Xiaojie leans over and gently touches Mengmeng's face. "My heart was pounding at that time", so the two people have confirmed their "love relationship".
"Do you know what is like?" Xiaojie seriously explained to the reporter, "Of course I know. I spend half my time thinking about her every day and give her a ring. In addition, the constellation book says that Scorpios will be desperate to pursue others. I just love her at all costs."
The reporter also asked Mengmeng, who generously admitted that she was Xiaojie's girlfriend and said that they would get married when they grew up. In addition to them, there are "two pairs" in the class. Six people often hang out with each other and set up a "small gang".
"I know about the two of them. The ring was made of beads with me." Xiaojie's mother, Ms. Liu, said that she knew that the two children liked each other, but it should be a naive idea between children. She didn't take it seriously.
Twenty percent of primary school students admit to having "love" objects
Appearance is the first "love criterion"
investigation
teacher
Don't judge children's "love"
Pupils don't understand love, they just imitate
"There is a famous pair in our class, and everyone knows it." Xiaomin, a fourth grader from Hankou No. 1 Primary School, told reporters that they are both called "husband" and "wife". They also pretended to be "married" and broke up several times, but they never "divorced".
The reporter interviewed 80 primary school students in three towns of Wuhan at random, 54 of whom said that there was a scandal about "who likes whom" among their classmates, and 14 admitted that they had a romantic partner.
"Thieves in the first grade, thieves in the second grade, beautiful girls in the third grade, a lot of handsome boys in the fourth grade, love letters flying in the fifth grade, and couples in the sixth grade." Xiaojia, a fifth grade student in a primary school in Hanyang, said that this is their own doggerel. "Love letters flying in the sky" is not an exaggeration. There are many students in the class who send notes to show their love, Of course, the teacher should not know this.
"One night, I inexplicably received a text message from an anonymous classmate in my class, which was like a love poem made by myself. The words were very sensuous, and I deleted them immediately after reading it." Xiao Lu, a fifth grade student, said that there were 32 boys in her class, more than 20 of whom were openly or secretly in love with themselves, and they were always very attentive, such as grabbing heavy things for her, catching butterflies full of bottles for her Climbing to the tree to pick up the UFO "show off", and "let water" to let her pass when jumping the long rope... Two boys scrambled to play with her mobile phone, only to fight violently, causing the teacher to request parents. However, Xiaolu said that although she has many admirers, she is only focused on learning, so it is unnecessary to "fall in love" at such a small age.
Beautiful, gentle, and excellent... The reporter found that these three rules rank first in primary school students' love rules. Many primary school students like others for simple reasons: "because she is beautiful" and "because he is handsome".
Xiaojun, a fourth grader, confessed that he had a crush on a girl since the second grade and was a "little beauty" in the next class. However, he has always been in a "secret love" and does not intend to express his love.
"Xiaojie and Mengmeng are very close, and I usually see them, but this is not really 'puppy love'." Teacher Chen, the head teacher, said that Xiaojie is a little different and not very sociable. When he was transferred from the second grade school, Meng Meng was his first deskmate. Facing the new environment, he felt lonely and pinned his feelings on Meng Meng. Xiaojie's father studied in the United States and was deeply influenced by western education, so he is more open-minded. He often accompanies Xiaojie to watch foreign blockbusters, which involve the topic of love. When children see and hear more, they naturally want to "imitate" the plot, but he may not really understand "love".
"When you see that two children have a good relationship, you must not say that they are in love." Teacher Wang, who has been working as a head teacher for 15 years, said that the best way is to "treat coldly" and not take it seriously. "There was a boy in the class who sent a girl a drink every day. I joked that whether he could send a bottle to the teacher every day. When the boy realized that there was a problem in doing so, he gradually reduced his attention to the girl. The children all have rebellious mentality. It's better not to tell him clearly what not to do, but let him realize that his own practice is not appropriate."
The post-70s parents are open-minded about "puppy love"
"This is just a silly favor"
parent
expert
"Puppy love" is a misreading of pupils' emotions
Parents and teachers should strengthen correct guidance for children
"He is very friendly with a girl in his class, but it should be for fun!" Mr. Tang, 34, said that his son had just entered the fourth grade. Although he once saw on QQ that he discussed topics such as love and marriage with his classmates, he did not care too much. A few days later, he asked his son if he liked anyone, but his son admitted it generously. "The 'like' in the son's heart should be just a kind of silly goodwill among children."
"I remember when I was studying, I didn't know about 'like' and 'love' until junior high school." Ms. Zeng, who lives in Wuli New Village, said that today's little Ya is much more precocious than they were then. When her daughter was in the third grade, she said that someone in her class wrote a note saying she liked her, but she ignored it. Now in TV dramas, comic books and even cartoons, there are topics of love, and it is inevitable that children will understand them.
"In our time, schools and teachers were very strict about 'puppy love'. At that time, there were very few students who fell in love. If one pair was found, it would cause an uproar." Ms. Hu, the post-70s parent, said that the boys and girls had originally made an appointment to study hard together, but they had a good relationship with each other, but after the intervention of schools, teachers and parents, Instead, it triggered their rebellious psychology, and they wanted to be together. "I experienced such feelings when I was growing up, so when I was educating my children, I was always more open-minded and established good communication with my daughter."
Of the 80 parents of post-70s pupils interviewed randomly by the reporter, 62 were indifferent to the "like" and "love" among children, and all thought that it was just the performance of children's ignorance of emotion and playfulness. But there are also a few parents who are worried about this. Will it be true that such words as "love", "get married" and "marry you" are always uttered at such a young age? If things go on like this, will it be really "puppy love"?
"Everyone will experience feelings when growing up. It is said that love is not early or late. When you understand love, you are in love." Professor Mei Zhigang, a sociologist at Central China Normal University, believes that "puppy love" itself is a false proposition. For primary school students, even if they are called "husband" or "wife", It is only based on the deep friendship and ignorant goodwill between each other. It has nothing to do with love itself, but it is disguised and expressed in the form of love. Therefore, to say that children are "puppy love" is itself a misreading of love.
The reason why children know so much is inseparable from the large number of film and television works, books and publications emerging in society. Foreign films and books will clearly point out what age group is suitable for children to watch. However, in China, children are exposed to many adult TV programs and adult books that are not suitable for children to watch, leading to the false maturity of children's emotional development, which seems to be "ahead of time" on the surface. As a parent, it is unnecessary to be too nervous and worried. Too much interference in the normal development of children's emotions will cause reaction. You can guide children to watch TV and books suitable for their age.
Mei Zhigang said that for individual children, parents and teachers confirmed that they were really in love, and adults should reflect on themselves at the first time. Children lack the warmth of their families and receive less attention at school, so they are easy to transfer their feelings to their peers, forming a "high emotional dependence" on the same sex or the opposite sex. The combination of family education and school education is beneficial to the healthy development of children's emotions.
(In order to protect minors, students in primary and secondary schools are pseudonyms)
