Source: China's micro platform for science popularization

Author: Yang Yuhui, national second-class psychological consultant

I don't know since when, November 11 has been called "Singles Day", and the accompanying shopping frenzy has made "Double 11" a popular day all over the country. Singleness and shopping, two words that had nothing to do with each other, were closely linked because of the man's designated date.

On this day, countless young people stayed up all night waiting for the clock to ring. When the time came, they immediately placed orders to rush to buy various items that had already been added to the shopping cart. When meeting colleagues at work, they talked about what they bought and how much money they saved. After work, we even go shopping and eat delicious food together, and go home to sleep after midnight of the new day.

This is a true portrayal of many single women on the day of "Double 11". Women have a great feeling of "having fun when they are happy" on this day.

　　 What makes them so crazy?

For most single women, this is not a good day. Especially for girls, it is a concept left behind by generations: women are too big to stay. It seems that men can be forgiven if they don't marry, while women who don't marry when they are old may encounter the dilemma of being urged by their relatives and discussed by those who are far away. Even in this era of women's liberation and equality between men and women, women participate in social competition like men, and many women have been created in their jobs, while family life requires women to be gentle and virtuous. No matter how the society changes, women always bear more.

"Double 11" reminds people who are still unmarried that you are single in the form of thick ink. Especially for those older single young women, there is no doubt that a huge pressure has formed. Perhaps the situation of relatives and friends urging marriage is awakened from memory again; Maybe it also reminds us of the past, the past that we thought we could forget or have hidden in our hearts.

Since there is no way to change the status quo, since countless sorrows and troubles have been turned over, dejected is one way to treat, and "I'm single and I'm afraid of who" is another way to treat!

The setting of the shopping festival is to seize this mentality. Come on, let me know! More shopping, more discussion with friends, more calls from the courier brother. In the next few days, how busy I will be. All this bustling life will make me feel no longer lonely. At least these days, that's true.

A few days later, all the noise has gone away, we are still alone, the urge of the seven aunts and eight aunts comes again, and the dusty past occasionally wakes people from their dreams, so what should we do?

　　 Eight words: open up and lower expectations

Open your heart means to open your heart to friends. Women have a friendship called "girlfriends". They talk about everything, share happiness, share sadness, laugh freely and scold casually. Even if there is psychological shadow, the area will shrink a lot in talking. If there is something you don't want to say to anyone, open a "tree hole" for yourself in a corner of the Internet, and say something about the tree hole, at least don't hold it in your heart.

Reducing expectations means reducing expectations of your partner. Nowadays, people live under great pressure, and women are independent subjects. If society has high demands on women, women will have high demands on men, which is also the reason why many girls are single. Lowering expectations is not to lower your requirements, or "make do" to find one to end your single life. Lowering expectations is to remove the burr of pride and try to understand some people and things. No one is perfect in this world. Mutual tolerance can build a harmonious family and give each other warmth.

Double 11 is still lively, but I hope you will not be in the crazy crowd!