Americans have a very magical feature, that is, they are especially able to live! The average Chinese family in the United States does not have more than two children, and two children is already very extreme. No matter how many children there are, they will collapse. But Americans are different. Three are standard configuration, and four or five are still everywhere. I sometimes see a large group of Americans out shopping. I admire them very much. How can I bring so many children?
I have a neighbor who is an American. The male owner is a university professor and the female owner is a full-time wife. There are five children and two dogs at home. Oh, yes, four of the five children are born by themselves, and another boy is adopted.
In the eyes of our Chinese neighbors, this is an unbelievable miracle. You said that you didn't have contraception, and it would be even better if you had four babies at once. How could you have so much energy to adopt a child and serve a dog? You know, it's not easier to raise a dog than to raise a child!
It is reasonable to say that parents have no time to take care of so many children, and the children are in the state of free range, so their grades should be very average, right? NO， Not really.
Patrick, the third in the neighborhood, happens to be a simple classmate and is the biggest competitor of Wa (although Wa has never admitted it). And interestingly, for a while, the two children didn't talk to each other. Sometimes when I see Han Han rushing home angrily, picking up his math book and practicing hard, I am curious about what's wrong with the little guy and how he worked so hard. Later I learned that he was the second and first winner in the math exam. Sometimes when he comes home, he is so happy that he will report good news to us as soon as he enters the door. "This time, I won the first prize and Patrick won the second prize." Look at him!
However, the relationship between the two people heated up sharply this semester. It turned out that the two people were not in the same class this semester. They were the seed players in their respective classes, and there was no competition. As a result, the two people soon played together and discussed Pokemon and Lego together after school, enjoying themselves.
Since the birth of Sister Han, we have had quite a long period of frantic anxiety. Mother Han has admired the American neighbor so much that neither of us is busy. How did they bring the five children? The performance of key children is also excellent!
Later, with in-depth understanding, we found that there was a set of management methods for neighbors, which is worth learning!
Everyone has a job
Once, Hanhan went to play with Patrick and found that Patrick was squatting in the yard to pick up dog poop. He said it was his job, and he had to finish his work before he could play!
It turns out that everyone in the neighborhood has been working since childhood, such as washing dishes, sweeping the floor, throwing garbage, taking care of children, picking up dog poop, and other chores have been assigned to the neighborhood mother. Every child helps the family to do housework, so parents naturally feel much easier.
Once, Mother Han asked her neighbor mother curiously, "What are they willing to do?"
"Why not?", the neighbor's mother smiled. "If I provide them with food and a place to live, they have to work!"
Well, it turns out that Americans deal with the relationship between parents and children in this way. They treat each child as a part of the family, but at the same time, they also want children to take care of the family. This not only cultivates children's sense of responsibility from childhood, but also makes parents feel relaxed. What a long experience!
2 Focus of interest classes
Americans also attach importance to education, especially in highly educated families. For example, our neighbors are unambiguous about their children's education, and they also report interest classes to their children.
We Chinese often want to apply for interest classes for our children, so we can apply for many at once. But the neighbor's mother is different. Her principle is to focus. It seems that the newspaper is less, but it is very good.
Take sports for example, she only practices for children every time, but as long as she signs up, she will practice every day. Once I talked about swimming with my neighbor's mother. She said that Patrick had been practicing for a year before he joined the swimming team. Now my sister is also practicing. It is estimated that he will join the swimming team in a few weeks!
I was shocked. "How many years have my family been practicing in the swimming team?". When someone told me about the glory of my child's one year in the swimming team, I also silently thought about the history of my son's learning swimming. Since he was 5 years old, he has been learning swimming every week. One class is off and on, sometimes on the ground. It has taken him four years to enter the swimming team.
One year Vs four years, this gap is too big!
After reading the experience of the neighbors, I realized the benefits of focusing. Instead of signing up for many interest classes, I should choose to practice for the same length of time, so that parents can easily pick up and send them away. They don't have to be as busy as going to the market every day, and children can also make achievements. Otherwise, they will learn everything from each other and learn nothing!
3 Reject tofu dregs
I also found that neighbors pay special attention to the principle of bringing their children. In a fashionable phrase, it is "refuse tofu dregs".
Once I met them in the mall, my neighbor's mother bought an ice cream for her 4-year-old daughter, but she agreed in advance that she could only eat five mouthfuls. At that time, her daughter happily agreed.
After five mouthfuls of ice cream, mother took the ice cream away as agreed. But the problem was that the little girl was happily eating. Suddenly, she felt a sense of going from heaven to hell, and immediately burst into tears.
Although the daughter lost her temper, the mother's attitude was still very firm, and patiently persuaded the child, "You have eaten, It’s too much for you！”
The daughter still didn't give up. Seeing that her mother was not good at talking, she ran to her father to be coquettish.
But my father's attitude was also very firm, "My mother has told you that it's delicious for 5 bites, right? So the baby can't eat more!"
Seeing that both parents are standing on the same front and never give in, my daughter is completely dead hearted and won't lose her temper after sobbing a few times.
The neighbor's principle of "refusing tofu heart" seems to be a bit "cruel", and has a strong sense of ruthlessness towards children. However, the benefits of adhering to the principle are very obvious. In our community, their children are very sensible, and they can act immediately at the command of their parents, and will not lose their temper because of sloppiness and various kinds of non cooperation, Naturally, it is much easier for parents to bring children.
After reading the three principles of bringing children in the neighborhood, I finally know why they can raise five children and two dogs. Although it's hard to bring a baby, as long as the arrangements are properly made, both the husband and wife can cooperate to bring a baby. It's still twice as good as half the effort!
The best thing is that children who grow up in such an environment still have excellent performance. I think my family's Hanhan performance has been good, but that's really the result of my constant supervision and urging with Hanma. But look at the parents in the neighborhood, they don't seem to spend too much energy. Of course, the five children also decide that they have no extra energy to spend. These five children are also very excellent.
Therefore, the way parents bring their children is very important! Learn to arrange a good plan and work for each child, learn to focus, and at the same time refuse the tofu heart, the child will be excellent, and you will be very relaxed!
(Statement: This article only represents the author's view, not Sina.com's position.)
