In "Dad in the Pocket", Dad used to be in his 80s, but he was scolded by his mother every day. Every time his mother scolded him, he was shorter. Later, Dad became a little thumb man and put it in his son's pocket every day.

It seems that children have become little thumbs in this kind of attack. Every time they stand in front of people, they feel very humble. I had to curl up more tightly, not dare to argue, not dare to do, not dare to say.

We have hurt children for so many years in the name of love.

Full score parents give their children a full sense of security. It is the highest level of enrichment to treat the sense of humility brought to children by the external world.

To break the children's inferiority complex and make them more confident, perhaps we can work hard from the following aspects:

1. Be sensitive to children's sense of humbleness

Children's sense of lowliness will have different manifestations. Alfred Adler of the United States once told a case:

Three children went to the zoo for the first time. They stood in front of the lion cage, and one of them huddled behind his mother and said, "I want to go home.". The other didn't run. His face was white and he was trembling. He stood there and said, "I'm not afraid of anything." The third child stared at the lion viciously and asked his mother, "Can I spit at it?"

In fact, these three children all feel humble, just because their lifestyles are different and their emotional expressions are different.

When children have such a sense of humility, it is when they need our help most.

2. Pleasant acceptance of children's shortcomings

Wu Zhihong said: 99% of the world's people are 99% likely to spend their lives in an ordinary way. Therefore, our children are ordinary people, and they will have unexpected shortcomings.

Acceptance will give the child a sense of security and confidence, while non acceptance is to mend the wound of the child, and the situation will only be worse. Dudu fell into the abyss when his mother refused to accept him.

Therefore, when the child is not doing well, that is when he has the least mental energy. Don't be furious, hug him with a smile, and tell him that it's OK. Give the child some strength.

3. Don't prove yourself right by children's mistakes, and prove yourself strong by children's weakness

Many times we get angry because we bind our children together and cannot accept their loss of control and their own frustration.

In order to get rid of this frustration and regain control, we teach children more violence. But this kind of lesson can't calm down the anger, on the contrary, it becomes more and more fierce.

It seems that the anger can be effectively controlled only when you beat harder, scold harder, and the child cries more bitterly.

In addition, the "kick cat effect" in psychology also points out that a chain reaction will occur when people vent their dissatisfaction to people who are weaker or lower than themselves. The parents also transferred the bad mood of other places to the children.

We are the strong and correct, and children are the weak and wrong. We judge arbitrarily from a high position. How can children not feel inferior?

4. Learn not to compare blindly

We gave birth to children to let them enjoy life, not to let them win the first place for us.

Never compare the shortcomings of children with the advantages of others. No one is perfect. This kind of comparison, relying on the stabbing pain to bring about running, is bound to leave psychological damage.

We were all overwhelmed by other people's children, and this kind of pain should not continue.

Everyone's heart is an energy body.

Wu Zhihong said that when children show negative energy of ta, they are held by their parents and respond with humanity. This black and ferocious energy will become humanized.

The more gentle and upward parents are, the wiser and firm they will naturally give their children appropriate influence, and the children's world will naturally be warm and blooming.

5. Learn to guide children to obtain successful experience

In Mother is Superman, Huo Siyan and En Hem discuss giving the old toys to other children, but En Hem refuses. Huo Siyan did not preach or barely hum. She said:

"It takes time for a child to grow up. If he cannot grow up to this stage, I can choose to give up and take his time."

Huo Siyan, after En Hem's mood calms down, guides En Hem to be a salesperson and sell toys to other children. Finally, he accepted Huo Siyan's proposal for the charity sale.

At this time, many mothers will tell a lot of truth about sharing, after which they will accuse their children of not knowing how to share and not being as good as others, and then force them to give toys to other children, hurting their self-esteem and self-confidence.

Huo Siyan turns possible frustrations into children's successful experiences. Only through continuous successful experience can children stop inferiority and become confident.

No one is perfect. Whether adults or children, those pushed away children will feel: I am not cute, and my parents do not love me.

When a child behaves badly or does something wrong, don't push him away or give him up. Let the child know that no matter what he has done wrong, his parents' love will remain unchanged. They will accompany him to grow up and encourage him to get a sense of achievement in his own attempt.