Ye Qingcheng: Now I think people should have a child and love again, because after giving birth to a child, suddenly a lot of love will be understood. When we were young, we were prone to make a mistake. When we love someone, we would give everything. After giving, people would complain that you are a white eyed wolf. But when I had a child, I didn't think so.
Secondly, I understand the relationship between feelings and money. It's natural for you to spend money on your child when you love him. You give him everything you have. If you associate with a member of the opposite sex, he is not willing to spend money for you, and you are not willing to spend money for him, it can be said that there is no love between you. So, if we are going to get married and have a meaningful relationship, money is the most important measure and basis. Otherwise, if he doesn't spend money for you and children, he will lend you a sperm?
Sina parenting: Some people say that the relationship between husband and wife is the first in family relations. What do you think?
Ye Qingcheng : This is the concept of foreigners. Foreigners will think that the relationship between husband and wife is the first, but in China, we should admit that in many cases, parent-child relationship is the first. Because couples can really divorce, but it is difficult for parents and children to separate.
Sina parenting: has your life changed greatly after having children?
Ye Qingcheng: Very big, the whole life has changed completely. Before you had children, you were free. You were free where you wanted to go, what you wanted to eat, drink, and play. You could really carry your bag. There were poems and distance outside. But it is impossible after having children. The focus of life is directly shifted to the side, and all freedom has disappeared. You must accompany her on all weekends.
But it doesn't matter. When your child grows up, you still have time. You will become an empty nester. Now there is a saying that after children enter junior high school, their parents become empty nesters. So, at that time, we empty nesters will have time to do whatever we want.
Sina parenting: As your daughter grows up, her dependence may become less and less. Will you lose?
Ye Qingcheng: Loss began in kindergarten. After kindergarten, she had a good friend who told me every day how "Qianqian and Little Bee" were. This was the process of growing up. She not only liked her classmates now, but began to fall in love when she was a teenager. At that time, she felt that love was greater than anything else, and that her mother did not understand us and quarreled with her mother.
So, I think all the things you did when you were young should be paid back to you, just in different ways. It was across the two ends of the river, you were on the other side of the river, and now you are on the other side of the river.
Now, Ye Qingcheng's daughter is 10 years old, and she is in the fourth grade of primary school. According to Ye Qingcheng, she has held several training classes for her daughter, such as swimming class, go class, piano class, etc. The purpose is to find and explore her daughter's ability and interests, cultivate her appreciation ability, and let the children have the ability to face various difficulties.
"Practicing the piano is a daily task. Every day, the children cry and make troubles. I told the children that you can lose your temper. You can't leave the piano between 7:00 and 8:00, and you can't leave the stool without playing it. If you don't want to play today, you can sit here for an hour today. The children still feel bored. Let's play the piano instead. This process is a difficult learning process for both sides. "
Sina parenting: Are you a tiger mother?
Ye Qingcheng: I'm not a tiger mother. First of all, the tiger mother should be cruel to herself. I'm far from being good to myself. I can't do that. Second, I am not as confident as Amy Chua. My idea is that I am an ordinary person, and my child will certainly be an ordinary person. I hope she is a little better among ordinary people, but I dare not put forward higher requirements, so I can not be as strict with children as she is, because our children are a little too ordinary indeed.
"I don't have the same idea as many Chinese mothers. I don't oppose puppy love at all. In fact, I think adolescence is the stage of youth initiation. If there is some vague feelings between classmates, it is a very beautiful thing, and it is also an exercise for children's life."
"But there are several things to be avoided. First, children should be prevented from associating with people in the society, because it is too dangerous for children, and there are many bad people in the society. Second, children should be prevented from going to a deeper level, just holding hands. At present, sex education and emotional education are very polarized. Many children have already had some unspeakable things in junior high school, and many children have never been in love until they are in their twenties. Both are unhealthy. "
"If my daughter goes to junior high school, I should encourage her to associate more with her classmates and take more of them home. I can tell her that I think this child is good, smart, capable and handsome. That child is not good, although handsome, but disobedient, insensitive and selfish. Why do I say that? Because my parents are basically like this, they encourage me to take my classmates, including the opposite sex, home and tell me whether they think it is good or not. I think it is much better for children to pass on their values in this way than to say simply and rudely, 'You can't fall in love'. "
