I envy those who can cry
Han Haoyue
one
There is a Korean movie called "Crying". I was curious about the title before I saw it. I was puzzled by the powerful artistic conception of the two words. Does the Korean "Crying" mean something in history or something in reality? Will the "crying" in the movie be conductive and make the audience feel that the title of the movie is true?
However, I never expected that after watching it, I found that the Cry was a horror film, or a drama with religious significance. The picture of Crying is full of mud, blood, dirt, bodies, rain, darkness
What impresses me most is that the male protagonist in the film dances the god to exorcise demons. In the firelight, the exorcist performs a strange dance, looks as if he has been stolen, and his facial expression is filled with nervous trembling, as if he is crying silently, which is inexplicably fascinating.
For film, television and literary works, the audience or readers are fascinated by different points. Most of the fascinated points will be considered as successful in the commercialization of works creation. The fascinated points of a few people will be considered as well digging into the complexity of human nature. I like those weird clips in Crying, which may be interested in a deep corner of human nature.
two
There is a Chinese movie called 1942. I like Henan dialect to a large extent because of this movie. And through this movie, I found that there is always a little crying in Henan dialect. Some people say that Henan people speak with a sense of joy. How can it be a sense of joy? It is clearly a kind of sadness, a kind of anxiety that has been precipitated after experiencing fear, cruelty and despair, has deeply penetrated into the voice, and will be inherited from generation to generation as long as you do not go out of the land.
I watched 1942 very carefully and watched it many times, as if I was fascinated. There is not a scene of crying in the movie. No one cries when the bark is ground into flour. No one cries when the beloved cat is killed. No one cries when he asks for a bowl of broth. No one cries when he sells his children and wife for a small bag of food.
The characters in the film will complain, curse and fight, but they don't cry. The only thing that came close to crying was that the wife found that her husband wanted to sell her child to her mother for medical treatment, and shouted her husband's name, "blind deer, I can't let you sell my child even if I shoot it dead". The name of the role "blind deer" was really good.
There is a famous skit actor in Northeast China who plays skits very well, but I prefer watching his TV plays. Especially when I find that he plays the role of "professional mourner" in TV plays, I will certainly watch it over and over again. Because of him, I am curious about the profession of "professional mourner". If one day, If I can become a documentary director, I would like to focus on one or several of them and listen to them.
Most of the "professional mourners" are forced by life. Otherwise, who would be willing to cry over the dead in other people's homes? The skit actor I mentioned was so relaxed when he was acting in this profession. After talking about the price with the host, he rushed to the mourning hall in a hurry and fell on his knees. In an instant, his aura was full, and everyone's eyes were drawn by him.
How to describe his crying? It can be said that his performance is too layered, and it is not a climax when he kneels down, which would be somewhat false. Usually, the first level of mourning is to shout three times, first to show your identity and relationship with the deceased. The second level is to enter the sobbing stage, and show that you have entered the memory by choking, recalling the care and care of the deceased for yourself, and accumulating strength for the next charge. The third level is to cry loudly, and the master invited him to come, It is not that he is careless and perfunctory. Only when he wails, the money is worth it. But he has a kind of impatience, which always makes the payer feel that it is worth it.
What does a person look like when he is sad to a certain extent (not the extreme)? His performance can be used as a reference or benchmark. His voice is hoarse, his eyes are full of blood, and his forehead becomes red and swollen due to kowtow.
The crying is not the key point, but the key point is the narration in the crying. In his intermittent narration, he fulfilled the responsibilities and obligations of his identity (usually the son), which made the audience deeply feel the deep love between father and son, and made the real son of the deceased feel ashamed and willing to pay the bill.
After receiving his due reward, he will act in an instant, find himself, and leave easily. How difficult it is, how difficult it is. I mean, it is not difficult to cry, not cry in an instant, or even leave with a little joy, which is the real difficulty in the world.
I wonder how he mobilized his emotions, urged his tears down, and immersed himself in grief—— The grief was not faked. The object of grief was certainly not the deceased, but the cause of grief was 100% his own. He must have mastered an event that happened in his own life. This event is a "faucet". When you turn it on, water flows out. But even the "faucet" may dry up one day, but this actor, who is old enough, can still cry so easily, which is really enviable.
three
The cry suddenly disappeared. I mean when life comes to a certain stage. It's like walking into a long, tall cement pipe. You hit the pipe wall with a stone and listen to its sound. At the beginning, there is always a sound when you knock, but it lasts for several hours. When you knock again, the sound suddenly disappears. You don't believe it. If you knock hard, you suspect that something is wrong with your ears, but the sound disappears.
The days without crying are really quiet. It's so quiet that people are worried. Because in the long experience of life, or in one's own sense of value, people live to cry, either because of the oppression of the external environment or because of the oppression of the heart. As a person, how can I do without crying? Sometimes there is a persuasive balderdash at the ear: you can cry, why don't you cry?
It's hard to cry. I tried. When I stayed in a space that was absolutely private, absolutely safe, and absolutely unknown, I wanted to review this long lost behavior. I tried to open my mouth and make a sound, but I heard a crack from the bottom of my heart - like a hard, brittle, and embarrassed land. I was embarrassed by myself, so I shouted into the air to try to ease the embarrassment. After shouting, I felt better, but I still felt embarrassed.
When my relatives died, I also wanted to cry like that sketch actor, but once I had this idea, I would have a deep contempt for myself. After the contempt, I couldn't cry, so I didn't like to attend funerals. The father of a good friend of mine died. He wanted me to attend his father's funeral. I refused, so for a while he was very dissatisfied with me.
If I can, I don't want to attend anyone's funeral. I like to attend weddings, birthdays, birthdays, and college entrance dinners. As long as it is a happy event, I can go happily even if the identity and reason for going are somewhat far fetched. There is little joy in life. There are opportunities for celebration and such legitimate reasons. We should cherish them. We should applaud loudly, clink glasses vigorously, and laugh heartily - although sometimes we cannot avoid it, we also need to bring some performances, But it's easier to laugh than to cry, isn't it.
four
Don't cry. These three words are the most frequently used when coaxing children. If the child is still crying, people will be inexplicably irritable. In the final analysis, I can't stand crying. Who knows, I was a crybaby when I was young.
My mother smiled and told me more than once that when I was a child, I cried for an hour or two. It was good not to be pacified. The more pacified I was, the more I cried. Later, when I cried, everyone simply ignored me and let me cry in the dark.
I vaguely remember that when I was young, crying in the second half was not really crying, but a kind of performance. People would perform crying when they were so young. No wonder they would not cry when they grew up, because they were shy, because they were embarrassed, it might also be because they had dried up their tears since childhood and could not cry again.
What I can still remember is the cry when I was a teenager. When I watched Journey to the West in my bed with a flashlight, I often saw that Monkey King "couldn't stop falling tears on his cheeks", "tears were flowing like a spring", "tears were flowing like water", and I would cry with him. Who was Monkey King? That is a hero in the eyes of a teenager. He is a person who can move ghosts and gods in the fantasy world. Even he is so fond of crying. Let me wait for these weak teenagers.
Then came the summer of a year after I was in my thirties. Yes, it was the time when the TV play "Huanzhu Gege", which marked the arrival of summer vacation, was replayed after countless times.
In the TV, Huang Ama and the little swallow are playing a match. Huang Ama's voice is still so loud, and the little swallow's eyes are still so big. But when the little swallow's big eyes are full of tears, and she tells her Huang Ama with a crying voice, my tears burst down - that's the only time such tears poured down, Fortunately, no one saw it.
I envy those who can cry, but I prefer to embrace those who are extremely awkward because they can't cry, because in my opinion, one of the most important functions of their bodies has been deprived.
(From "I want to recapture you from all the sky", Baihua Literature and Art Publishing House)
