It is more and more difficult to calm down and write some words. After working for one year, the desire to express/write is much lower than before. I think the willingness to express shows that a person is sober and willing to think. The "expression" here is not only to say, nor just to say to others. Write, or write for yourself.

In any case, I still want to record something near my birthday every year, and this year's title is not creative.

If you have paid attention to my content in Time Machine, you can probably know what has happened to me in the past six months. In February, I moved to a new work area to finish the last year's work. In March, ChatGPT became extremely popular, and Q1 soon ended.

If you go to see " Sickness "According to the record under tag, the work area was moved in February, and the eyes around March 10 have been very dry and painful. Maybe you don't have much experience of eye pain, thinking it's not a big deal. Before my own experience, one of my roommates had dry eye disease, and I think so. The worst thing is to have a rest. It's just too tired. But in fact, it has a great impact on the quality of life. After work, the eyes are burning pain, and you have to wash them with water to ease it. At the beginning, the air was dry. I bought a humidifier, but it didn't alleviate any problems. The most frightening thing about being ill is that you don't know when you will get well. Fortunately, after about 2-3 weeks, it finally got better. So far, I still think it is related to the new work area

Chest tightness began at the end of April. In fact, I occasionally had chest tightness in March, but it was very mild, and there was almost no chest tightness in the middle. From May, June, July, August to now, my chest tightness has not completely recovered I saw the doctor three times during the period. The first time I judged it was bronchitis. I took some anti-bacterial medicine. After taking it for two weeks, I really felt better. Because the frequency of chest tightness was very low, I occasionally couldn't inhale it in the morning and evening. I was almost a normal person during the day. After lunch with a colleague, his colleague said that he was positive, but he was not sure whether it was due to psychological effect or virus. After ten minutes, he felt uncomfortable, sweated a little, and was very tired. After returning home that day, we tested the antigen and found no positive. But my chest tightness has worsened. If you take antibacterial medicine later, it will never get better. It took two months These two months are the most intense. In the middle of July, I saw the doctor for the second time. The doctor did some tests to rule out whether it was asthma, bronchial problems, etc., and also let me do CT. After the results came out, I saw the doctor for the third time at the end of July. The doctor said that from CT, there was nothing wrong with the lungs. The CT result was "a few streaks in the lungs", which was usually a "scar" that had recovered from pneumonia and other lung diseases before. But it can't be inferred that I got it two months ago, because God knows whether I have ever recovered in the past 20 years. The doctor said that there was no need to check the respiratory department. He suggested that we should check the cardiovascular department after taking blood and take more rest.

One of the symptoms I gave myself was chronic pharyngitis, because my throat would be a little blocked after eating. I felt that my throat was a little blocked. Prepare to go to the ENT department sometime next week.

I am 26 years old, and I may not be qualified to say "how was my health when I was young", but to be fair, before I was 24 years old, I hardly ever got sick. I may catch a cold/fever twice a year, and in addition, I seldom felt unwell. Now it is obvious that this body has slowly passed its best time and is going downhill.

In terms of work, the first month of Q2 was not so busy, and then a new project was started at the end of April, which was my first closed development and rest day overtime. Throughout May and June, we worked overtime at a very high intensity. In addition to working overtime one day every weekend, we also worked very late every night. After 9:30 and 10:00, it was also common. It can be said that there is basically no time to leave work before 9 o'clock.

The body is very strange. When I get used to this kind of work, I feel numb and even feel "guilty" when I am free. Now I start to put my work behind me and don't regard the value of work as my core value.

After three busy months and poor health, I spent Q2 very tiredly.

During this period, a college roommate resigned from Beijing Ali at the beginning of July and went back to work in a xxx institute in his hometown. Another roommate also invited everyone to dinner with great pride, so we got together once (July 9). There was another incident at home, but it ended in this way.

In November last year, a peer school with a good relationship changed its enrollment to base, and basically left my life. In July, another colleague with good relationship also left his job. Life is like this. In fact, you can't keep anything, and you are experiencing it. Colleagues asked me for a simple chat before leaving, and suggested me to summarize, precipitate and output more in my work. You can write more technical articles and blog posts. I think it is also very useful.

I officially joined the company on June 28 last year. It has been a little over a year now. In this year, unlike before, work is my theme. So that I seldom pretend for my own affairs. "Time will heal everything". I would have thought this sentence was nonsense a few years ago. I can't forget the bad things in the past. But now, I really can't remember clearly. My heart has slowly become "numb", and "numb" itself is a kind of "growth".

Another change is the "bottom line". In one episode of "Extraordinary to the Wulin", Guo Furong hid the clothes Zhu Wushuang gave to Xiucai Lv for his departure, but later lied that they were made by herself. Eventually, the matter was exposed. Lv Xiu ignored Guo Furong and wanted to break up with her. Tong Xiangyu said that this matter touched the bottom line of scholars after all. Guo Furong said, "It seems that there is no bottom line for anyone". Shopkeeper Tong then said, "What's your bottom line?". At that time, I thought about what my "bottom line" was. I didn't seem to have any bottom line. Every time someone hurts me intentionally or unintentionally, I will feel that what I do is wrong.

But after work, I seldom blame others for hurting me, and in turn, it is a big SB to scold the other party in my heart. One of the major reasons is that I am friendly to people and actively try my best to do everything in my work. If there are still problems, it must be the other party's fault.

On the other hand, in the scene of socializing with others, I began to have some "bottom line" of my own, that is, I was not worried about losing any so-called "social relationship", because I seemed to have nothing to lose. Therefore, on the contrary, if the other party tramples on its own "bottom line", it will automatically alienate such people, although it will still not break it in person. There is no accurate text to describe such a bottom line. Its core is that you make me uncomfortable. Please leave my life. It is so simple. I began to listen more to my own feelings. I think this is a good thing. Maybe because I have some confidence, I don't rely on anyone economically, and I don't have more emotionally, so I'm not afraid of losing.

Finally, I don't want to say too many cliches. Although the body is still uncomfortable now, and there are two new mouth ulcers. Although the air conditioner upstairs buzzes every day and affects me, I am grateful and satisfied with my life now. At least at present, we have no worries about food and clothing, and we don't have too much burden. My advice is to experience, read, watch and experience more. If you have any goal, do the simplest thing first, rather than set a grand goal!

This is my current situation at the age of 26.

Last modification: February 16, 2024
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