This year is the seventh year of my blog and the seventh year-end summary. From sophomore year to graduate student and now to work, every year has changed little in my opinion, but now it has gone a long way in retrospect.

Although it was a hard year, there were many unpleasant things. But now I can sit down and write the year-end summary in a calm mood, which shows that the whole year has been smooth.

digitization

Bedtime

1. The average time is 1:05 in February, 1:16 in March August, 1:26 in September November and 1:50 in November December. The average sleep time is still 7 and a half hours.

Going to bed early is like writing a diary. If you keep a diary every day, the resistance/pressure to keep a diary every day will become less and less, and it will gradually become a habit. On the contrary, if you start to sleep late one day, in the short term, it seems that there is no problem. You also get more time to play, and you feel indifferent, so you will sleep later and later the next day.

However, the danger of staying up late is very obvious after a period of time. The first is the decline of immunity. The second is that it is very easy to get tired at ordinary times. And the bad habit of sleeping late has also been formed, and it needs more self-control to improve.

Most of the time, when we are more focused during the day, we can finish things. But it is because of the mentality of "staying up late" that we can delay doing things until night. I hope you can fall asleep earlier in the new year.

Blog

This year's blog only wrote 5 articles, which may be the least in the past years, and all of them are life articles.

I wrote some technical articles on my notebook, but they were either fragmented or not completely sorted out, so they were not sent out. I saw some technical articles of the big guys and felt that there was still a big gap, so I hope I can understand them and publish them later.

Books and Movies

I read some technical books during my job search last year. This kind of books are all bricks, so they are all on demand to read some chapters, rather than complete reading.

I read "True Story of Ah Q" and "Broken Pen during Sickness" when I amused myself. I have always seen the play of "you also match the surname of Zhao", and then I know that the Zhao family here is Uncle Zhao in the first story of Ah Q. Ah Q talked with others after drinking wine, saying that he and the Zhao family are also his own family, to raise his status. The next day, Uncle Zhao called Ah Q over to scold him. Uncle Zhao said, "How can you be called Zhao! -- You don't deserve to be called Zhao!". The True Story of Ah Q has a total of 20 short stories, of which the True Story of Ah Q and Kong Yiji are probably the two most familiar stories. The book is not finished yet.

There is such a passage in Broken Pen between Sickness that attracted me to look for it:

The experience of illness is to be satisfied step by step. When I have a fever, I know how refreshing the days without fever are. After coughing, I realized how peaceful my voice is without coughing. When I first got into the wheelchair, I always thought that it would be a loss of human characteristics if I could not walk upright? Then I felt that the sky was dark and the earth was dark. When the bedsores came out again, I could only lie in an awkward position for several days, and then I saw how sunny the sitting day was. Later, he suffered from uremia and was often dizzy but unable to think, so he became more nostalgic for the past. Finally came to realize that we are lucky every moment, because any disaster may be preceded by a word "more".

Each section of this book is only 1-2 pages, which seems to be relatively easy, but it is still a long way from the beginning.

This year, I finished watching the "Best Mother", "Inuyasha", "Dali Temple Log", "Robot Story", "Crazy Animal City" and "Search".

In fact, I haven't seen many movies, among which, there are 8 seasons of "The Best Mother" and more than 600 episodes of "Inuyasha". Disney's two animated movies are very enjoyable and touching.

Whether reading books or movies, just like traveling, is a way to increase the meaning of life and enrich yourself. I also saw a lot of movie commentaries on Tiao Yin. These commentaries were very interesting when I saw them, but after a period of time, I couldn't remember anything Among them, the most impressive ones are《 Wednesday Season 1 》And《 Bailuyuan 》。

If you are lazy, watching movies is also a relatively meaningful pastime.

Software

With regard to efficiency related software, in 2021, I abandoned the tick list, used the system's built-in reminders, and abandoned bear to use craft.

In 2022, we will continue to use notes to replace craft. By the second half of the year, notes were basically used less. Most of them were memos+reminders+fly book documents, including attempts to record tasks directly with the "notes" provided by MacOS. These changes highlight the core of "quick record" and "simplified process". The use of flying book documents is because it can support a lot of functions internally, especially inserting mind maps and drawing flow charts. These previously required multiple software, but now they can be completed in one document. The experience is very good.

In the past few years, I have been persistent in finding a "best software" to create my own "knowledge base". Four years ago, I wrote an article Whole equipment markdown writing guide Later, the double chain notes became more and more popular. I also tried most of the software, and many of the software continued to use for a long time. Each of the mweb/bear/craft continued to use for a year, and gradually found that creating a "own knowledge base" was an ideal thing. Because in the ideal, my knowledge base stores my digital data by category, and all my life records and learning records can be neatly arranged in the software.

Several problems will be found after each software lasts for a period of time:

1. The knowledge base means at least more than 50 articles, and I basically have more than 200 articles in these software. If these articles are all about the same subject (classification), it is OK. If there are multiple classifications, such as life/work/learning, and learning is divided into many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many. Maybe you only have three categories at the beginning, and then there will be 20+categories. You will not want to manage more and more, but make things more complicated.
2. Many of my records start with fragments. For example, if I want to write an article, I will first list many key points. Every time I want a new key point, I will record it first, and then continue to expand. Technical articles are also put together with many relevant materials every time, and then sorted out finally. This means that I need to quickly record many times to reduce the cost of writing things down.
3. The slogan of some note taking software is "become your second brain", which sounds cool. All your records can be digitally recorded in one software and can be found at any time. At the same time, some have cool two-way link maps. But now I think I really have so many valuable articles. Do I need to sort them out all the time? Many notes lying in the software are written with the beginning/half, or materials. They are like many gadgets when moving, and it is a pity to abandon them if they are tasteless. It is very popular to write onepage, which is an article that explains everything about a topic. This article can be a complete article or a linked directory. So instead of building a "own knowledge base", try creating multiple "one pages" of your own.

Is the note taking software meaningless? We should use pen and paper or txt to write. I think if paper and pen can satisfy you, then there is no problem with paper and pen. I have seen before that big men use paper notes to record daily events directly, and I have seen the simplest markdown software available and wrote many high-quality solutions.

If you think the double chain notes can improve your productivity, then use them. If you think that it will increase your cost and become a burden for your records, or it is very cumbersome when you need records, you may consider changing to a lighter tool.

Compared with individuals, I think the knowledge base is more suitable for enterprise scenarios. First, there are many enterprise documents, so classification is very valuable. Second, there are many people to maintain the knowledge base, making it possible to maintain the knowledge base. Even in enterprises, many knowledge bases have not been updated and the directory has not been adjusted and optimized.

Tomato Clock uses TLOG developed by myself to replace it, from which I can also see what I do in front of the computer every day.

Now the tick list also supports this function

Last year, the total time spent in front of the computer was 1448 hours, an average of 4 hours a day. In fact, there are still many times that I forget to turn on the tomato clock. Although I check whether to turn on the tomato clock every 15 minutes when designing, if not, there will be a pop-up prompt.

life

Thesis and graduation from January to April

I wrote an article for younger lab students to summarize the whole graduation process.

In January, I was revising and publishing small papers, and from February to April, I have been revising large papers. At the end of April, the process of the paper was basically completed. Now it seems that one sentence can sum up what I did at that time, but I was really anxious about the big paper at that time. The blind trial is said to be very demanding and may be selected for pre defense. I went back to school at the end of February. On the one hand, I had to hand in some materials. On the other hand, I felt I was more efficient when I went back to school. In those weeks, I returned to the state when I was taking the postgraduate entrance examination. I went out of the dormitory to the classroom during the day to revise my thesis. Every paragraph of text was examined to see if there was any loophole or defect. The experimental details, charts and data that could be supplemented could also be improved. At the beginning of March, weight inspection and weight reduction began again. But luckily, they passed the blind trial and were not selected for pre defense, so they graduated successfully.

On May 5, the long-distance internship began (at that time, the epidemic situation in Beijing was serious).

Epidemic situation and containment in May

The epidemic in Beijing has suddenly become serious since the Winter Olympics. After mid March, many companies began to work from home, while I continued to revise my thesis at home alone. After passing the blind review, you can continue to revise your thesis until the middle of April, because the thesis has not been uploaded to the graduation system.

The first thing you need to do at home is to buy your own food. However, their own dishes are limited. Vegetables are stir fried Shanghai Green 🥬， Carrots, potatoes and so on. Meat dishes are also very limited, such as spareribs and corn soup, chicken wings, chicken wings, braised spareribs in brown sauce, all of which have hands+a certain degree of proficiency. They are boiled first, and then braised. The braised chicken wings I cooked several times really made me feel delicious. The other thing is to buy some quick-frozen food and eat it in different ways. More complicated methods such as making fish, braised meat, fried meat and shrimp are not very good.

Another problem is the lack of exercise, which may not go out for several days. The exercise at home during the epidemic may be to go out and do nucleic acid.

In June, with the arrest of several cadres from the Health Commission, the epidemic situation gradually ended（ Yang Daqing, Deputy Director of the Health Commission of Fangshan District, Beijing, and other three people were investigated ）。 After the Dragon Boat Festival, I officially went back to work and rented a house.

From June to November, busy work and life

The days after work are more busy and monotonous. Nevertheless, many things have happened in recent months.

At the beginning of July, I went back to school and took a supplementary graduation photo with several classmates. On July 7, the group went to Happy Valley for the second time and was "encouraged" to play the "jungle train". The first experience of roller coaster riding was that I felt that I was dying in the middle. The feeling of weightlessness was really terrible. Maybe it was a little like the feeling of helplessness in the face of death? In July, I also had a dinner with my undergraduate roommates, two of whom invited me to sit in my rented house for a while, mainly to let them experience the pico (hhhh) I bought, and then watched the movie "Life Events" together.

During the summer vacation, of course, I was officially employed at work. I handled some things related to archives and went to school several times, which was particularly troublesome, because it was still epidemic control at that time.

I received my first bottle of perfume on my birthday. I haven't bought perfume myself. On the one hand, I don't think it's necessary. On the other hand, I think it's too expensive. Although I didn't use it when I went out after I received it, I sprayed it occasionally when I was alone. I was alone in the quiet room, which was quite emotional.

At the beginning of August, my sister and my brother-in-law got engaged and received a red envelope after having dinner. At the end of August, some partners of the company spontaneously organized a game of table tennis, and I also joined in for several times. When I was at school, I went into the gym to play. When I entered the society, I found that the table tennis gym was quite expensive, with an average of 50+per hour. Later, I found a university campus one, which was cheaper. It was also at this time that the idea of buying an electric car became stronger. Because every time after playing football, I can't find a shared bike, so it's hard to go back.

At the end of August, I bought the first car in my life - electric car. The first time I bought a car, I was very afraid of being cheated by the price. I didn't understand what others said, so I bought it online and the store sent it to me through a shopping cart. The car is very comfortable in summer and autumn. It takes a little more than 5 minutes to get to and from work. It's not a problem if you want to go to the store a little farther on weekends (although most weekends are spent in the house and never go anywhere...).

At the beginning of September, a female classmate who had a good relationship in high school got married, which was the first time in my life that I followed her. It made me feel that I was at this age. It's a little strange.

Then came the Mid Autumn Festival and National Day. Very soon I went into late autumn and early winter. At the end of October, something very painful happened to me at home (not life, old age, illness and death). It happened on Friday. At 8:00 p.m., I received a phone call, and my mind was buzzing. I said I would call you back later. I went to have a meal. After dinner, I found a conference room and began to call back. At that time, I didn't know what to say. In short, it was a very chaotic day. When I went back that night, I wanted to talk to someone, but I didn't find anyone. I have a friend who is in hospital because of my grandfather, and I don't want to bother others with my troubles.

So I made an appointment for my first online psychological consultation. Offline experience may be better, but I still don't dare offline. I made an appointment by phone at 9:00 am on October 27, so I didn't miss my work time. At 8:50 in the morning, I washed and sat at the table. I was very nervous, so I wrote down everything I wanted to talk about in advance. I received the call on time. The voice on the other end of the phone first stated that the content of our conversation would not be known by any third party, told us that the conversation time was 50 minutes, and began to ask whether it was the first psychological consultation.

The consultant is not a panacea. Any psychological problem or trouble can be solved through a dialogue. But at least I have to find someone to tell me about this. Secondly, the psychologist sometimes thinks with me from my point of view, and sometimes gives me some advice from her point of view. In general, this consultation was very helpful to me, and also helped me deal with this matter later.

On November 19, I made an appointment for a second psychological consultation, which was much better at that time. The main thing was to talk about the pressure of life and work, and my parents' house was still heavily burdened with housing loans. The consultant suggested that I could repay the loan in advance to reduce the interest. Before that, I only knew that there were a lot of house loans in my family that were being exchanged, but I didn't know that I could repay them in advance. Even some specific details of commercial loans and provident fund loans are not clear. Although my mother lent the money herself, she was not very clear about the details. It was after this incident that I learned in detail the difference between the calculation of equal principal and interest and the calculation of equal principal and interest in commercial loans, as well as the precautions for prepayment. Finally, my parents paid back some of them in advance when they were years ago, and I also contributed some of them. This has reduced a lot of my stress and anxiety on this matter.

Epidemic situation and liberalization from November to December

Exactly, the epidemic situation in Beijing has become more and more serious in the days after the Double 11. My community was also blocked on November 21 because of the diagnosis. The takeout can't be sent upstairs, but to the entrance of the community. The route map I read after taking out at noon every day, and I ran ahead of time when the take out was about to arrive. Otherwise, it will be very troublesome to get the takeout after missing it. And the delivery fees of takeaway/supermarket are becoming more and more expensive. I'm fine. I bought several supermarket orders, and the delivery fee was only 3 yuan (0 yuan at ordinary times). It basically didn't affect my life, but I was a little nervous. During this period, the Urumqi fire made people more and more angry. On November 26, many communities in Beijing began to ask for unsealing and "scientific control". Many young people are about the same age as me, and their demands may just be not to seal up. For example, the power of the neighborhood committee is getting higher and higher. In one case, the whole community was sealed up after the diagnosis of the community, which was said to be grid management. As a result, the delivery/supermarket delivery can't be delivered at all. It is said that many communities carried out similar "activities" that day.

By the evening of November 27, it was basically unsealed, and the takeout was ready to come in. I don't know whether it was the result of "striving" or it was originally "unsealing on schedule".

After that, Beijing rumored that it would open up to almost everyone's secret, although the news push again and again emphasized "scientific epidemic prevention, dynamic zero". My house expired on December 5, so I have been looking for a house for the past two days. Finally, I saw a landlord rent it directly, and an intermediary showed me two rooms. Finally, I chose the intermediary room. What hesitated at that time was that the landlord directly rented the residential area, which was on the side of the road, worried about being noisy, and that there was no heating (they used oil filled heaters for heating in winter). But living in the room recommended by the intermediary was far less beautiful than what was promised at that time. The only thing I can see is that the community is really quiet

The morning after moving into the new house on December 5, I wanted to go to the property to handle the access control, but the door showed that the diagnosis was temporarily controlled, so I went back and made a nucleic acid on the way. As a result, when it was nearly 12 o'clock in the middle of the night, the public security bureau called to say that there would be a community to do the sole management later. But when nothing happened at 1:30 in the middle of the night, I fell asleep. In fact, at this time, there are more and more open policies, which are basically ignored.

On December 3, the official refuted the rumor that Beijing would open up tomorrow. On December 6, there was a new policy that some places would not check nucleic acid. Then on December 7, it was announced that infection could be treated at home. Then on December 8, it was announced that the health code would not be checked at the inspection station in Beijing. So far, Beijing has basically released control, and since then, the epidemic in Beijing has reached its peak. At the end of November, I felt that it was very possible to let go. At that time, I only bought some cold spirit and disinfection spray, but not fever medicine. At this time, all delivery platforms could not buy drugs and antigens. Almost every day I take the time to pay attention to whether some groups have drugs and antigens. The delivery fees for takeout/supermarket are also slowly increasing. Every day I worry about whether someone will take the order for the takeout. After receiving the takeout, I put it at the door, and later I bring a mask to come in for disinfection and hand washing.

It is estimated that many people were infected with fever at home on the weekend of December 11. As predicted by the data, logistics and distribution began to recover slowly after the peak on December 17. By the end of December, distribution and logistics were almost the same as before.

Maybe luckily, I moved to a new house before the outbreak of the epidemic, but during the whole period of the first wave of the epidemic, I didn't leave the house except for taking out garbage, and the delivery/express delivery was also disinfected day after day, so there was no fever. But there are some uncomfortable symptoms in the back of the body, which are similar to the new crown. Such as shortness of breath, chest tightness, low back pain and sore throat. I don't know whether it is an asymptomatic infection or a problem of immune decline caused by simply not exercising at home.

The first wave of the epidemic has basically ended. What will happen next? Alas, there is a long way to go. When will the new coronal epidemic really end

work

Reverie

Don't give your life a score

I often score my life consciously or unconsciously every day. For example, at the end of the day, I will judge whether I have wasted time and wasted such a precious day. This seems to be related to the education we received from childhood. I have to examine myself three times a day. But in fact, I am just an ordinary person. It is very difficult to score my life according to the textbook like principles. It is more common and normal to reach 6 points. We spent some time on other entertainment things instead of planning things. I don't think it's a waste of time. Time, like money, is used. Just like eating and housing cost a lot of money every month, can you say that the money is wasted?

So what I hope to do is to reduce the anxiety about time allocation every day, and really spend my energy on how to allocate time. For example, I take the initiative to purposefully use some time for entertainment, and some time for work or study, instead of hoping to achieve 10 points a day with difficult requirements, and make full use of time to study, which is unrealistic and also increases unnecessary anxiety.

The Nature of Anxiety

In my opinion, there are two kinds: one is to be prepared for danger in times of peace, and the other is to be anxious because you did not do a good job in the past. For example, procrastination leads to more and more anxiety about tasks.

The latter produces anxiety, which is similar to self blame and regret. Its essence is not to be responsible for their own behavior. Because these emotions are the part that we don't want to accept our own bad behavior, because we blame our mistakes on our past self who didn't do a good job, thinking that some guilt will offset our past bad behavior. Anxiety, remorse and regret can't solve the problem, because it just helps us to reduce some sense of guilt. The next time we have the same scene, we will still unconsciously slip to the side of "not doing well".

Anxiety is not a bad thing, it is an instinct to help us find danger. But if only anxiety without any action, then anxiety seems to become a shield for us to face the reality and problems, as if I have been anxious. Even if I didn't do it, it would be impossible for me to do it, and I can't be blamed.

To reduce anxiety, remorse and regret, I think the most important thing is to be responsible for all your actions. For example, you can go to bed late, stay up late, or stay up all night in exchange for the happiness of escaping from reality late at night, but you should do well in the consequences of mental depression and physical deterioration, instead of regretting why you didn't go to bed early last night in the daytime the next day, because all these are your own choices. You can watch the video in the daytime instead of completing the planned task, so you have to bear the consequences of the task being delayed, or spend more time the next day to make up for it, or the consequences caused by the unfinished task. Instead of worrying about the next day, what to do with more and more tasks, because all the consequences are your own choice.

You can choose to reduce social contact to avoid being hurt by social contact, or you can choose to reduce communication with partners in work to reduce trouble, but the consequences must also be clear and taken in advance. If you don't want to take responsibility, you must force yourself to complete these things. Because being responsible for your own behavior is a very important quality for adults.

If a child doesn't do a good job, he can act like a coquette and pass away. No one will blame a child too much. However, if adults fail to do a good job, they must predict the risks in advance and take the initiative to take them, without any excuse to blame others.

Third party perspective

For a while, I will feel that my life is meaningless. On Station B, I saw a delivery clerk taking a picture of his VLog, which is a normal life. It was very interesting after taking the picture. VLog is a third-party perspective on life. Because video plus music or some commentary, plus fast forward and editing, boring and repetitive life seems to be endowed with meaning. The reason is that when we watch video, we do not personally feel the physical feeling of the behavior itself in the video.

For example, if you are asked to deliver food in winter, it is difficult to feel that your work is interesting. After all, the cold wind is biting, and the time for each order is still very urgent. The personal experience will only be that this work is very tired and hard, and it is difficult to see the significance of what you are doing.

Another example is that movies are actually a third-party perspective to describe things in life. We can get moved, inspired and other emotions from movies. Because in the movie, through very clever editing, just right music, carefully designed lights and pictures, these are the elements that we usually experience and observe our own life.

If we can also try to observe our own life from a third-party perspective, perhaps life can also be like a movie. It will help in at least two aspects.

First, when faced with meaningless work, I don't want to continue. From a third-party perspective, we can see the value of everything we do from a longer timeline. You can take some VLogs or photos to make yourself visualize your changes.

Second, it is a very small thing to look at these things from the perspective of a third party when you feel sorry for some stupid things you have done. Maybe I paid extra attention at that time, but I usually forgot it soon. His complex psychological activities at that time were just a few lines of text. If we feel that we are at a time of low ebb and suffering, and feel that we are far away from the goal and fail, we can observe ourselves from a longer perspective, which is just a small episode in our life, or even if it has brought us some harm, it is actually a very valuable experience and memory in our life.

Pretending is the antidote to life

If you work hard for a week or two in a row, when you come back from work, you will find that your brain is just like a "wood". It's a hollow feeling that you can't work hard for life and don't know what your goal is. At this time of the weekend, a proper affectation can let us experience the "meaning" of life. The meaning of life is always a very empty thing. In my opinion, it is a process of gradually finding self value. And self-worth is to feel that you are not mediocre, ordinary. Through a very strange psychological process, affectation can make you feel temporarily that some of your "thinking" is not understood by outsiders, which is just a way to find your own uniqueness. When I open some rock songs in the music software, I always see a lot of "affectation" or "second place" comments and speeches. I don't think it's a problem. When I was young, it was easy to win the second prize. I always felt that I was the son of God. As you grow up, you will encounter more and more people and experience more and more things, and you will find yourself more insignificant and ordinary, so you can occasionally become a "second in the class", and you will also feel that you are still valuable. Of course, it is unnecessary to go to the extreme side, such as arrogance, or the persistent belief that everyone around you understands yourself, and everyone is drunk and I wake up alone.

Different aspects of a person

I don't know if you are like me. When facing others, you always feel that they have only one side. For example, if you get along well with the other person at work and the other person is gentle and responsible, you will subconsciously attach a label to the other person and expect the other person to respond to you according to this label at any time. If the other side shows another side, it will be difficult for us to accept.

Here is a story about a good friend in high school. The stories of high school all happened in the classroom, so we both focus on some trivial things in the classroom. We will feel that each other is a very lively and enthusiastic person. During the winter and summer vacation in college, when I went to each other's house to play, some people didn't talk when they were together, which was not bad. Then on the way out to the supermarket and when we get to the store, we will feel that the other person's behavior mode is completely like a different person. Especially when talking to the clerk, there is no playful and immature behavior he usually has when alone with him. Instead, he is very "mature", even when walking and chatting outside, When I often speak this hometown dialect, I jump out of Mandarin, which makes me feel very uncomfortable. I suddenly feel far away from him. I always think this is because I have not yet got to know him well.

A while ago, I needed to handle a material when I went out. I rode 20 kilometers back and forth by electric bike. The wind was still very strong that day. When I handed in the materials, I suddenly felt that the whole person was very wrong when I walked back on the road. If I had friends walking with me at this time, I would not chat in a leisurely manner like usual, But I will be very irritable, because I want to go home as soon as possible at this time. At this moment, I suddenly realized that it is normal for a person to have different attitudes when facing different scenes. Although my experience may not be the same as that of my friends, people do have many different aspects.

Observing the people around us, we can find that some people are relatively stable in personality. They can hold the whole audience when they are alone with each other or chatting with a group of people, and their tone and attitude can almost remain unchanged. However, some people can clearly feel that when they communicate with the same person, they will have different social performances in different social environments. Therefore, after I realized this, if the attitude of social objects will change, there is no need to doubt whether they have caused the attitude change of others. This is actually a very normal phenomenon. As long as we face it squarely and tell ourselves that it is a normal phenomenon, social pressure will be less.

Self digestion of emotions

In the past year, I have less and less talked about my troubles with others (pure complaints will still have many times to complain in groups with good relationships), because there are many things I don't feel it is difficult for the other party to put themselves in the same place during the experience. At the same time, after I talk a lot, it is nothing more than adding another layer of busyness to others' busy lives. Different from college, college time seems to be all free time. When dealing with friends, I always feel that everything can be told and understood. On the other hand, after work, there are some things that will be troublesome and painful at the moment. Just one week later, the busy work can make you forget those feelings.

In March, a friend asked me how my work was going. What I thought at that time was that although my work was very tiring, it was not as bad as I thought. At least I didn't have time to spend on mental internal friction and think about all those messy things. My work would be enough to exhaust most of my energy. In the rest of the time, I just wanted to free myself for some spiritual happiness.

Work is a necessary means of managing human beings. Maybe that's true. Even when the material is unprecedentedly rich, I think human beings also have jobs, but rewards become other things. Because if there is no work, people will be free. Once a person is free, it is easy to "do". What we do here is to hope for higher and more spiritual satisfaction, and the whole society is in a very chaotic situation.

But there are also some things that make me feel that I just can't survive. Last year, I went to psychological counseling twice, which is my first time to really contact psychological counseling. Psychological counseling is not a special mystery. Another person will listen to you patiently and unconditionally, and give her some suggestions and feelings at the right time. These are some of my feelings after psychological consultation. However, there is something bad about psychological consultation, which is usually only three days or more later. So many times, once you miss the emotional release period, you slowly don't want to talk.

NPC and player

I have seen such a picture before. Some of them laugh at themselves, and some of them laugh and cry.

It seems that we have also gone from thinking that we are the masters of the world to becoming the world's NPC. And the following picture is also very funny.

When I was young, I felt that my life was very unique. Tell an interesting story. When I was very young, I thought I was the son of the sun. My parents work in Beijing. I will be picked up during the summer vacation in primary school. When I go to Beijing, it is sunny. However, it is said that it is raining when I do not go. This was a little story when I was very young. When we were older, we would think how my life could be like what I saw on TV or what others heard. Even at that time, I didn't understand the matter of "urging marriage". I think it's not my own business to get married and fall in love. Do you talk when others urge you? Did someone rush you to get married? At that time, I didn't understand this matter and thought it was really stupid. But now, almost all the peers who have no object around are being urged to fall in love, find a partner, and get married I am no exception. When you reach a certain age, it seems that you must enter that fixed stage. You can't escape. Just like NPC in the game, it will automatically trigger actions at a certain stage. You must do this, at least you must be troubled by it.

Before graduation, I occasionally watched the video summarizing people's life experiences, but I didn't think so. Maybe at that time, I naively felt that I would not step into the boring life process.

But now, I have been in this process and some involuntary. In the past, I always felt that there was nothing I could not afford, which was just an excuse. However, change always brings great risks and uncertainties, which requires great perseverance and perseverance. I doubt whether I have this quality. The word "maverick" is difficult to practice.

Although it seems pessimistic, even though we involuntarily become a NPC in the world, there will still be more variability for individuals. This may not require the so-called "earth shaking" and breakthrough changes, but we just need to insist on doing something different, such as insisting on some of our own interests, or making some small changes, For example, change your desk environment to get different life experiences and feelings. That is, we can still be players in our own lives.

As stated in "A letter from Sanmao to an unhappy girl", to make some small changes can help us find more hope in life.

If I were you, the first thing I would do is decorate my room. I will paint the room bright white, and make a beautiful curtain for myself on the window. I will put a small ordinary radio at the head of the bed, build a bookshelf in the corner, and change a warm and warm lampshade for the light bulb. Then, I will go to the flower market, carefully select several pots of bonsai and put them in my window. If I still have enough money, I will buy some copies of famous paintings, like posters, and hang them on the wall. In my estimation, it will not exceed 4000 Taiwan dollars. Of course, except for the radio, if you do everything yourself, you will save the cost of craftsmen, and your life will be much more interesting.

epilogue

A lot of things in life may feel like floating dust at that time, but after a period of persistence, we will find that we have gone a long way and experienced many great things. In the new year, I wish you all good health, pay attention to protection, and never get sick! See you in the next article.