This article was originally written last week, but there has been no time to make minor changes and release. Coincidentally, I officially joined the company this Wednesday (I was an intern before, because I didn't receive a double certificate for graduation). On Saturday, several roommates in college gathered together. Therefore, the first half of this article will talk about the changes in mentality from internship to becoming a full member and some thoughts and feelings. The second half is the content written last week.

The original title was "Work maladjustment syndrome". The reason for such a title was that I wrote an article in 2019 when I was enrolled in my first graduate school https://www.ihewro.com/archives/970/ 。 This time, I just wrote some annoying things in response to the situation.

A long lost reunion

Because of the epidemic and internship in the first half of the year, those who are at school cannot leave school, and those who are at home usually work at home, so they have no chance to have a meal together. Last week was our graduation week, but not everyone was free last week, so we made an appointment to have dinner this week. There are six people in the university dormitory, four of whom have stayed in Beijing. Another one and I went to graduate school after graduation, while the other two have directly participated in work and have been working for three years.

Those who met for dinner and talked a lot naturally turned into "work". On the one hand, they sighed that it was the helplessness of the "layoff" environment, and on the other hand, they discussed the "pressure" in the work. The two who did not go to graduate school are not so-called " Because of the "big factory" work, the work pressure is much less. I can get off work at 6-7 o'clock every day, which really makes me sigh. One of the companies in which he works does not even have performance appraisal. He also complains that the things he does every day are too simple, which really makes me envy him (my current work pressure will be briefly introduced in Part 2).

Because my department is a "flying book", which is an enterprise tool, I asked them what kind of work they use in the company. One of them is flying book, the other is nail, which is also an enterprise tool. One of them was very ignorant of "Feishu". Just like before I came to fly the book, he asked whether it was called "Feishu", "Feige" or "Feixin". Hahaha, two new names came up at once.

Before I came to fly a book, I only heard vaguely that it was similar to a note, and I didn't know what a flying book was. Before the internship, I specially downloaded it. At first, I felt that it was an enterprise IM or an unknown enterprise IM. Of course, as we learn more and more, we will know that flying book is not only IM, flying book documents, video conferences, but also a one-stop solution for enterprise office. Therefore, its target customers are only B-end enterprises, so it is meaningless to compare it with note and enterprise WeChat. It's just that this kind of enterprise office tools are more C-terminal oriented towards students and teachers, so that everyone knows that FlyBook documents will compare with C-terminal products and evaluate the details of the two software. There is no problem with this. C end users can enjoy free dividends, but compared with other C end products, I personally feel that they are not so suitable for personal use (there are also some other software that have no details and highlights).

Although it is a bit far fetched, I would like to explain why it is meaningless to compare Feishu with Note and WeChat (at least for the moment). For example, if an enterprise wants to find an office software, it will choose Feishu or Note. Obviously, Note has a single function and is not competent for this job. It is obvious that the functions of enterprise WeChat are not unified enough. For example, Tencent documents, Tencent conferences and enterprise WeChat belong to different teams and are not interconnected. Only nailing and flying books have been moving towards one-stop enterprise office solutions. Of course, enterprise WeChat is also integrating these businesses at present. At present, the experience is not as good as nailing and flying books.

Returning to the previous topic, my friend didn't know about Feishu, which tells me that when we enter an industry for development for too long, we always think that what we do is worth a lot, because we turn around every day and only receive good news, But in fact, how much value this industry or product brings to users may be misinterpreted.

I chatted with another friend who used Feishu Office and said that Feishu had recently released a three column structure to add the tag function. He said that the tag is just the function of grouping. The three columns have no influence/change on him, and he cannot use the tag himself.

After dinner, I wanted to go to see a movie directly, but there was no show at that time, so I proposed to sit down at my place and then go to see a movie together.

When I came to my house, I bought a PICO VR all-in-one machine before, and one of my friends didn't play it, so I let him try the game. Sitting on the sofa chatting with another classmate. Ask him if he knows about notes and how to take notes at ordinary times. He says that he doesn't take notes and doesn't know about notes. This is not to say how awesome it is to know notes, but from this conversation, he will find that some of his own cognition may be fundamentally wrong or unnecessary in others' opinion. For me, documents will always be produced in the process of work. When developing requirements, I will record development details, development logic, and development points that need attention while writing code to improve documents. So recording is a very important thing for me. However, for other developers, they do not need to record at all, and they can still do a good job. Therefore, whether "redundant/excessive" records are necessary.

I often say that I am a person who loves to look for "efficiency software" to help me live, but whether these efficiency software really improve personal efficiency needs to be considered. It is not to deny the value of these software, but not to exaggerate the value of tools, which is also a reminder to me. For example, people familiar with me will know that my note taking software has changed several times in the past seven years: typoro mweb、bear、craft、notion。 This process also tried many other software, such as Siyuan Notes, Impression Notes, Youdao Cloud, Obsidian, and so on.

Finally, we went to see the movie "Life Events". Although it is a clich é: life and death is the biggest thing in life, and other honors, disgraces, fame and wealth are all fleeting, some of the first fragments still let me feel a little bit blinded and numb for a long time, and my heart was slightly awakened. The plot of a lost funeral is very similar to that of an "encoffiner". For example, at the beginning, the funeral industry was overlooked, but later we learned about the sacredness of the funeral industry. But there are many plots mixed in the middle, and some of them feel unrealistic, which makes people a bit funny. It's not like the encoffining division digging deep. Generally speaking, he is a short general, and there is nothing good to see in other movies of the same period.

Psychological changes before and after becoming a regular

In fact, I got a double certificate on June 24. I was going to take a break for a while before becoming a regular. On the one hand, a demand on hand is not over. On the other hand, I don't know what to do even when I rest. I'm afraid it's a pure waste of time. So I became a full member after two days

During internship, the mentality always feels overly dependent on mentor, and there is not much autonomy. For example, I always feel that someone else will tell me if something goes wrong with the code I wrote, and it doesn't matter if I can't do it well (after all, I have already been offered).

The first difference after employment confirmation is that leave can be filled in the system. Interns can ask for leave directly with mentor. They only have personal leave, which is unpaid. However, regular employees have some paid holidays to ask for, and after asking for leave, the flyer will have a red mark of asking for leave.

The second thing that makes me feel changed is that starting from becoming a full member, I have more responsibilities and more equal relations with other colleagues. Although I still have a lot to learn from others, my level is much better than my prudence during internship. I don't know what it is.

Byte working time is called "flexible working system", in other words, "you can finish your work, and you can get off work whenever you want". But this is totally unrealistic. For newcomers to the workplace, what should we do to "finish the work"? It has two meanings. The first is that current requirements can be pushed forward according to the expected deadline, bugs can be expected to be fixed, and the second is that there is no new knowledge to learn.

In Internet companies, the schedule is generally not much, and there is basically no two week schedule for things that could have been completed in one week. In addition, there are many times when the schedule is longer than expected. Therefore, it is difficult to achieve the first level of "finish the work".

You may say, "You can't finish ahead of time and get off work early if you are more competent and efficient." This is actually a very good problem. The improvement of ability and efficiency can't happen out of thin air, especially for new comers, it can't be done, so you can only add " Volunteer to work overtime to achieve the process of becoming stronger and more efficient.

A video we saw today It is also a similar point of view. Only when you reach 80 points or more can you pretend to be 60 points and lie flat. If you are 60-70 points, you want to lie flat only because of being fired or low performance.

I have no objection to the volume, But he is clearly opposed to influencing others' behavior because of his own involvement 。 For example, you can sneak back to resources to work overtime, secretly finish your work ahead of time, or even finish more work. There is no problem. More work pays more. But you can't push your own behavior to others, such as pulling others to work overtime, such as pushing your own work to others. This is an extremely unethical behavior in the workplace. The 360 EIA for performance appraisal is not so ugly and the workplace relationship is not so stiff, which can only be tolerated most of the time.

Now, I'm confronted with such a QA of other people, which is very uncomfortable. During the postgraduate period, our laboratory was actually a company. The company of Eastcom Beiyou would also do projects. There was a testing department. The workflow was to put forward product requirements, test to write cases, and then test to test problems after the development was completed. If there were problems, they would raise bugs, and there were detailed replication paths. In short, QA and development have almost no intersection, and each has its own responsibility. It is the place for test case review.

But the QA I met at the beginning was not clear about the requirements. I had to go to the R&D department to tell the QA what the principle of the requirements was, not the product manager. I could bear it, because this requirement was a technical requirement, not a product manager's proposal. In fact, the product manager only knew the interaction logic, but not the technical details. After talking to QA about the demand background, I went to write scenarios with QA one by one. In other words, I dictated most of the scenarios to be tested to her, and then she sorted out and recorded them. OK, I can bear it. You are not familiar with the process. Then I started the test, but I didn't know how to handle a bunch of operations. I could bear to ask one after another, because this operation was complicated. Then I tested the bugs and told me one by one that I was debugging the code to see a problem. The backhand was a rush to ask whether the process met the expectations. I said some processes at least twice, and still asked if they met expectations. I felt lonely. Let's write a test report and record the problems and scenarios that have occurred. QA told me that there was no time??? This is what you do. You told me that you had no time and asked me to deal with her one by one. If there was a problem, you would ask me to go to the front desk face to face. Do you know how to type, or do you have no voice and no function of flying book meeting.

So last week, my work experience was extremely poor. I spent half a day with QA, and then I was repeatedly interrupted during the debugging process. When I got off work, I kept sending messages to me. Why don't you have a whole test document at this time? The quality of the whole work is extremely poor, and I don't understand. Therefore, I can only go back to the place where I live after work to read the log and debug bugs. Almost every day, I can fix the problems raised late at night.

This is the most uncomfortable week for me since I started working on requirements QA. If I have any problems, I have to ask for documents, and then research and develop one by one. If I am not familiar with the replication process, I will comment on the documents, and then check again. If there is a problem, I will hurry up research and development. At the weekend, I was asked to take my computer home to operate, and I was speechless. I feel that I am extremely unprofessional and have no sense of workplace boundaries.

(Sorry to complain for so long. If I were an intern, I wouldn't even talk to her, but regular employees will bear the pressure of performance.)

At present, the most desirable thing is to end this requirement as soon as possible·

Only do one thing a year

The reason why I should emphasize this point is that my work last week left me temporarily confused. Sometimes, if you are blinded by some troubles, you will lose your direction. The only thing I have to do in 2022 is very clear, It is the in-depth research and learning of Chromium project and related businesses.

This is the core goal. All the needs and work I do should promote this thing. If I don't promote this thing, I may have to stop and think about whether what I do is worth our pain and excellence. On the contrary, as long as I'm promoting this thing, I don't need to worry about whether too many other things are done too slowly.

Ability to respond immediately

The content from here is written last week, so the timeline starts from last Saturday

Although he continued his internship after the May Day holiday, he returned to the work area after the Dragon Boat Festival (June 6th). At the beginning, I thought that the epidemic would end after the Dragon Boat Festival in Beijing. In fact, the authorities and most people believed so. As a result, within two days, an epidemic chain in the Paradise Bar spread rapidly to multiple areas, so that by the time of writing this article, there were still sporadic local cases every day. I was almost tired of watching the news of the "closing stage" every day.

Nevertheless, the return to the work area has not been interrupted. Back to the work area, in theory, there is no need to worry about the problem of eating. The food in the company canteen can't be said to be delicious, but it is actually better than takeaway, and there is no need to choose what to eat. In addition, it is reasonable to pay more attention in the company, so that you can have a short rest after work, instead of being "half working" all day.

I prefer a home office environment. Although it is inconvenient, I can have my own rhythm, which is very important for me. Before the high school entrance examination, I told my friends that English listening and physical education (sprint) were the most annoying subjects in all examinations. The reason was that these two subjects did not have their own rhythm, and they had to maintain high concentration under high pressure, and their fault tolerance was extremely low. This is actually an ability of "improvisation and reaction", but I lack it.

Social pressure

Another headache of working in the work area is social intercourse.

The leader and mentor sit around my work station, and I am a social terrorist. Although the mentor is really good, he talks to me when he has something to do, and doesn't push me too much, which can be said to give me enough time to grow and learn. Ld is also gentle.

However, it may be hard for ordinary people to imagine the internal friction of social fear. Even if they meet every day, they will struggle for a long time about whether to say hello or not. If they do not say hello finally, they will struggle for a long time. These internal conflicts are about to engulf me and make me spend a lot of unnecessary energy.

People with social phobia may envy others at some times. When they are in groups, they envy them for talking, laughing, and expressing their ideas and emotions freely.

The pressure of social interaction is not a cold day for me, nor can it be solved for a while. The first thing we need is to formalize our own shortcomings. Although social phobia is disadvantageous in social and social scenes, it does not mean that social phobia is not normal. Do people have to be active and outgoing? Of course not. I am also grateful that the current team has not actively given me some social pressure. Instead, mentor and some colleagues will take the initiative to communicate with me. Secondly, in the work scene, it is the key to do your own work well and ensure certain basic politeness (such as greeting when meeting). Even if you say that low ability is just a vase that will be eliminated sooner or later, so it is a good start to find your own position, find your own goals, and lower your expectations. Don't always think about how outgoing you want to be, but take a small step forward. For example, take the initiative to say hello when meeting, and don't escape. So it is very important to find a small goal that can make progress. From a small point, you can record the number of times you take the initiative to greet people, the number of times you take the initiative to ask for help, or the delay time to send messages to people. If you feel uncomfortable, you can naturally withdraw from some atmosphere and reduce contact. In fact, everyone is busy and will not be too aware of others, but it is very important to maintain basic social etiquette, otherwise it will be very troublesome in subsequent cooperation.

Future ownership

In fact, I didn't go to work on the first day. If you are familiar with me, you will know that I had my internship in Byte last May, and it was not until the middle of October that I finished the project. Now it's just the end of graduation and the beginning of work. But this time the experience was different.

After lunch, I chatted with my colleague (also an intern, the second graduate student of Peking University) and said that I was a little envious of their less pressure. In fact, it was just my unintentional words, but he asked, am I under a lot of pressure now. I was stunned for a moment, and then I said that the current pressure was different from that of the original internship, and I didn't think about it carefully at that time. Now when I look back, I can see why it is different. During the internship, the only goal was to perform well, and to become a regular employee would lead to a good result without any other ideas. In fact, during that time, I only wanted to do well in my daily work. At that time, although my work was challenging, it was not difficult. I could only say that it was complicated. Anyone could do well if he took the time, It's just a matter of order.

But now my goal has become vague, and I am struggling to jump out of the graduation goal. It seems that I started to work without knowing what to do. Maybe I followed the crowd and everyone started to work (in fact, I can take a leave for a while, and I can start to work before August). But I didn't have anything to do, so I started to work. At present, the work on hand is far less busy than some regular employees, but it is still almost full of time every day. I don't want to go to work every morning. I have to wait until the last moment to go out, and then look forward to getting off work. When I get home, I don't know what to do to fill the remaining time.

The lack of goals may be a problem for many young people, including me. In fact, maybe we attach too much importance to the meaning of goals, and will get lost in it.

Tell a story. Every time I feel that I gradually lose control of my life, I especially want to find a new tool, perhaps a document tool or a TODO tool. I always hope that the tool itself will change my life, but experience after experience tells me that "the tool itself is not important". Today, when I reopened the "tick list", I saw some tasks that had been put under the label of "later" for a long time, such as "buying an electric car".

I always wanted to buy a car, but I never bought one. Except that it was very expensive, I didn't know whether I really needed it, and it was very troublesome to recharge, so I kept putting it on hold. But every time I go out, I really hope I have an electric car. If I have one, the quality of life will really improve a lot. So what did "tools" help me do? They helped me file my wishes under one label and reassured me that I would do it in the future. In fact, I would never do it in my life. "Tools" make me spend a lot of time seemingly smoothing my life, but in fact there is no "action".

It seems to be a bit off topic, but the truth I want to say is that we should pay attention to the essence of things, rather than the surface. We need TODO tools to help us avoid forgetting things, improve our execution ability, complete things, reduce life pressure and anxiety, and improve the quality of life, rather than seemingly doing everything in order without any action. If so, you can use these time to do a practical little thing. Similarly, we need to find a goal, which must be empty and nihilistic, such as "how much money do I want to earn in three years and what position do I want to be promoted to". These big goals can only bring infinite pressure and anxiety to ourselves at the beginning, but can not promote anything.

I felt very anxious when I slept for a while, and I felt very stressed. If I read some articles I wrote before, I would know that my family's economic situation is not good (although I have no economic problems at present). My parents are still carrying a lot of housing loans (more than 9000 per month) because of some decision-making problems in the past few years, and they are getting older, The visible body becomes worse and older. For some time before going to bed, I thought that my incompetence could not change the status quo, and I was very sad and helpless. But now I slowly stop thinking about these things, because there is no meaning. Focus on the things you do every day, such as looking at one more page of C++primer, enriching your life, executing one more thing, and so on.

The goal of life never needs to be so far away, starting from a small thing that can be quantified.

last

Today may be the hottest day in Beijing, with the highest temperature reaching 40 ℃. Even so, I applied to go back to school today to pack my bags, and then I took graduation photos with some classmates on the way. The girls are really skilled, with SLR and Polaroid. I also borrowed my master's clothes. I was lucky to catch up with them and took some photos at the end of graduation. Although I don't care much about the "grand sense of ceremony", it is worth recalling that there is no commemoration after a node.

When I went back to the dormitory to "pick up", I found a wonderful behavior: when you have a lot, you don't cherish it. For example, there are a bunch of masks (about 200) in the dormitory, because our school will issue dozens of masks every once in a while, while several people in the dormitory did not come in the first half of the year. The first reaction I saw was not to pretend, but not to want. But this is very abnormal. The company can only get one every day, and I will go to get one every day. When I rented a house, I bought 50. The price is dozens of yuan, which is not cheap, but I still feel distressed. Now there are a lot of masks in the dormitory, and my first reaction is that I don't want them... In addition, there are pillows on the bed (the sponge pillows I bought earlier are almost 100). My first reaction to autumn clothes is that I don't want trouble. But in fact, I spent a lot of energy and financial resources to buy these things. When renting a house, I struggled for two days about whether to buy a better pillow. Maybe it's true that we won't cherish when we have a lot of things. For another example, when there was a beverage subsidy in the company, a bottle of 7-yuan beverage would cost 1-2 yuan after the subsidy. Usually, I seldom buy or drink drinks because they are very expensive, but when I was in the company, I didn't have a special desire to buy them. Instead, I found out when I returned to the house. So when we have the conditions to "own" many things, on the contrary, we feel that its value is low, we get used to it, and we think it is normal. When we can't get it, things of low value will become treasures. Isn't that "cheap"... Later, I brought back everything I usually need.

At noon on Friday, a small group in the group had a meal, and ld asked a question: "What would you say if you asked" one of your most aggrieved things "during the interview? It was said that I was very short of such a scene of on-the-spot play, and everyone would say a paragraph. This question does not really ask you to answer the story of your grievance at the beginning. What the interviewer wants to hear is why you are wronged and how you solve the grievance. And from the way you solve the grievance, we can see your ability, such as active learning, active communication, and so on. This is the key. The person in front said that I didn't want to repeat it or make up a clumsy imitation, and then asked me twice before one came out. In fact, after I finished speaking, several stories of grievances suddenly appeared in my mind, but at that time my mind was blank. In fact, we can see everyone's character and ability at a glance. Some people can say something even if they don't know it. Some people can say a good answer that passes the exam without panic on the spot, while some people have prepared for this question in advance, which is more coherent and clear. I can only say that I still have a lot to improve in this area.

In recent weeks, I have watched the 87 version of the TV series of A Dream of Red Mansions on YouTube, and then pushed me the video of "The Queen Meets Me" to explain "Ghost Ben". I have watched many episodes and found it interesting. I was surprised that there are so many historical backgrounds and details behind each character. Then this week, I started to push another video of the up master refuting "Ghost Ben". It was also a bit wordless, but more importantly, it was also very reasonable. The reason is that they put forward the argument, and the argument is also put forward by them. Obviously, each video will only find the argument that supports their own argument, and I, as an audience, can naturally be persuaded by them.

So, let's talk about this first