Original title: Amazing "Marriage Law": After reading it, you are enlightened!
Author: Uncle Bei
Source: Bei Shuyouyue (ID: beishu2016)
When establishing a marriage relationship, each couple adheres to the original intention of "one couple for one lifetime".
When we entered the marriage, we found that love can't conquer everything, and the lover can't be consistent.
Therefore, some people believe that: "Marriage is a besieged city. After trying, you want to escape".
In fact, what I want to say is that, Marriage is not perfect, but can be happy.
Marriage, like people, is not perfect. Couples with good feelings understand these three hidden rules of marriage.
Antipathy law
In marriage, the husband resents his wife's nagging when she has something to do; The wife resents her husband's silence.
In the end, they were too lazy to fight, and indifference became the dignity for each other.
The reason is actually that there are problems in the communication mode between husband and wife.
Women's habitual nagging is a criticism of men, which is hard to accept for a long time;
Men's subconscious silence is the embodiment of cold violence. For a long time, everyone is emotionally broken.
A good marriage relationship is not without problems, but with problems found and solved in time.
The writer Thoreau said:
"The biggest enemy in marriage is not quarrel, but indifference."
When two people get along, learn to express their feelings and needs frankly.
Bury the aversion in the bottom of my heart. Without communication and solution, it will gradually accumulate.
The more silent the man becomes, the more hysterical the wife becomes, and then falls into the marriage cycle.
quarrel set law
After the husband and wife quarrel, the husband apologizes first, and the marriage is generally happy; The wife takes the lead in bowing her head, and marriage is generally difficult to last.
From a psychological point of view, the logic of quarrel is not Same: Women want attitude, men want right and wrong.
When two people quarrel, even if it's a woman's fault, women will blow their feathers if a man yells.
The man said in his heart, "I told you again that you wouldn't listen. I raised my decibel to express my meaning."
The woman said to herself, "Well, how dare you yell at me? You just don't love me anymore."
After the quarrel, the man felt that he was right. Why did he apologize? The woman felt that she did not love me any more, and she would not coax me after quarreling.
In fact, in addition to matters of principle, husbands and wives usually quarrel because of trivial matters.
If the husband apologizes first, the wife thinks that the man's attitude is good, right or wrong is no longer important to her.
If a wife often admits her mistake first and looks harmonious on the surface, she may be extremely disappointed and cold at her husband.
Women are emotional animals. In the long run, they may voluntarily give up this marriage, which is self aware and unfortunate.
Law of housework
Men generally feel that there is no work at home; But women feel that they can never finish housework.
In many cases, it is not infidelity or poverty that destroys marriage, but trivial life.
Go to the toilet, never flush or brush the toilet;
As soon as I get off work, I will play games in the sofa when I enter;
It is to prepare meals, sit and eat ready-made food but also pick and choose not to brush the pot;
As time went by, women became more and more angry and fell into the dilemma of marriage.
At the same time, he actively contracted all the housework in the family, and at the same time, he made verbal attacks on his husband in an emotional outburst.
Traditional ideas lead men to think that housework is done by women, and women's awakening thinks that housework is done by two people
Of.
In this regard, men should change their traditional thinking and women should change their way of getting along.
If a man has no eyes, tell him what to do directly? If he doesn't do it, lie down and don't let yourself be so tired.
Marriage is a matter of two people, and one cannot be expected to work hard to maintain balance.
Housework is also a common responsibility of two people. You can't use ignoring and pretending to be dead to consume another person's feelings.
There is a sentence in Fortress Besieged:
"No matter who you marry, after marriage, you will find that you are not married to the original person, but to another person."
In fact, it's not a change of person, it's just that you really see the whole person.
No matter how good the relationship is, people will quarrel, and also have the idea of divorce and regret.
The essence of marriage is that two people work hard to manage and maintain; If there is a problem, do not escape, communicate effectively and work together.
No matter how good a relationship is, if you don't know how to maintain it, you will end up with no result;
Unharmonious feelings, as long as we manage hard, we will also love each other and stay together.
I hope that every couple can understand each other, love each other, and feel better and better.
Author: Uncle Bei. Source: Beishu Youyue (ID: beishu2016), an all-round growth platform for urban women, has marriage and emotional problems. Pay attention to Beishu and give you the answer! Every night at nine o'clock, we will see you.
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