Analysis of student behavior problems by the model of four composition examiners of Cambridge IELTS 4 test
This IELTS composition is a typical report topic, which requires you to explore the causes and solutions of the bad behaviors of middle school students. Generally speaking, the structure of report articles is easy to arrange. If the four paragraph format is adopted, the reason can be analyzed in one paragraph and the solution can be provided in one paragraph. If the five paragraph form is adopted, two paragraphs can be used to explain the reason or solution. The specific paragraph arrangement also depends on the arguments you can think of.
Click to view the analysis of other examiners: Summary of the Cambridge IELTS Examiner Fan Wen
Cambridge IELTS 4 test
In many countries school have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Fan Wen, the four major composition examiners of Cambridge IELTS 4 test
Poor student behaviour seems to be an increasingly widespread problem and I think that modern lifestyles are probably responsible for this.
In many countries, the birth rate is decreasing so that families are smaller with fewer children. These children are often spoilt, not in terms of love and attention because working parents do not have the time for this, but in more material ways. They are allowed to have whatever they want, regardless of price, and to behave as they please. This means that the children grow up without consideration for others and without any understanding of where their standard of living comes from.
When they get to school age they have not learnt any self-control or discipline. They have less respect for their teachers and refuse to obey school rules in the way that their parents did.
Teachers continually complain about this problem and measures should be taken to combat the situation. But I think the solution to the problem lies with the families, who need to be more aware of the future consequences of spoiling their children. If they could raise them to be considerate of others and to be social, responsible individuals, the w hole community would benefit.
Perhaps parenting classes are needed to help them to do this, and high-quality nursery schools could be established that would support families more in terms of raising the next generation. The government should fund this kind of parental support, because this is no longer a problem for individual families, but for society as a whole.
Analysis of the Model Essays of the Cambridge IELTS 4 Test 4 Examiner
Task Response
1. The article fully answers the questions in the topic. It is pointed out that parents' indulgence to their children has led to this problem, and corresponding solutions are proposed, including making parents aware of the possible consequences of this way, providing parents with courses, establishing high standard nurseries, etc.
2. Each viewpoint is elaborated in detail. In terms of parental indulgence, it specifically points out what kind of mentality children's material indulgence will lead to and how it will affect their performance in school. Here are two points worth learning: First, the child's mentality is concrete, not just the article from the old roast duck IELTS said that indulgence will lead to the end of caprice; The second is the impact on school behavior, echoing the topic. However, many students will ignore this point and end up just talking about the bad influence on children. The solutions are all around the parents, and no irrelevant content is mentioned.
Coherence and Cohesion
1. The article is reasonably divided. The first paragraph introduces the theme, the second paragraph talks about the influence of parents' doting on children, and the third paragraph talks about the influence on children's behavior in school. The beginning of the fourth paragraph follows the above and points out what parents should do. The last paragraph explains how subjects other than parents should be.
2. This article mainly adopts the method of logical connection, and there are few real connectives. The so-called logical connection means that there is no content jump between sentences. More simply, the subject of the next sentence must have appeared in the previous sentence. The article is advanced layer by layer, and the use of references is reasonable, and it reads smoothly.
Lexical Resource
The wording of the article is very flexible. However, it seems that there are no particularly complex words in it. It can be seen that the requirements for vocabulary in IELTS writing are mainly the diversity and appropriateness of vocabulary, rather than complexity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
1. As an official model of IELTS, this article certainly does not contain any grammatical errors.
2. The sentence structure is extremely diverse. In addition to the common clause structure, this article likes to use parenthesis very much. For example, in the second paragraph, not in terms of... but..., even the adverbial clause of cause is added. Therefore, the grammar score of IELTS writing is not the more complicated the sentence, the better, but like vocabulary, the more diverse the better.
Summary of high score words and phrases
Increasingly widespreadproblem.
Be responsible for. Note the use of "lobby" to weaken the tone.
Be spoiled
In material ways
Be as they please do what you want, corresponding to the previous "have whatever they want"
Self control
Obey rules. Rule can be synonymous with discipline
Combat this situation
The solution lies with/in
Be considerate of others
Parenting class
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