①  The Chinese sex knowledge is far from universal

On the Special Manuscript of the Chinese Network of "Sex Saying Love"

Letters from netizens:

​ Teacher, my girlfriend and I I've been in love for two years The parents of the family have also met, and the wedding date has also been set, and now the certificate has been obtained. But we didn't live together, and we didn't have sex. In fact, she was very good, and she didn't refuse me. But I always felt that making love was the biggest harm to her, and I tried to resist it every time. I want to know Sex between men and women Does it hurt women a lot?

Expert reply:

​ Boys who think sex is harmful, hello! After reading your letter, I want to ask you a question: How do you judge your so-called injury? Why didn't she Reject you , but you still think it will hurt her? Didn't you ask her what she thought?

Communication is really important , whether in sex or other aspects of husband and wife life. Lack of communication in marriage

(Talk about sex, talk about love, special appointment on Chinese website) I often receive questions from some netizens about the recovery of women's postpartum sexual life. Some husbands said that their wives refused to have sex after childbirth and did not tell their husbands why; Some of them are worried about the recovery of postpartum sex life, such as fear that the body will not recover well, which will cause damage, or fear that her body is out of shape, and her husband does not like it, etc. Then I will analyze it from the different perspectives of husband and wife “ nature ” Reason for.

From the husband's perspective:

one The wife is like a changed person. She used to look and feel like a wife, but now she has no sexual charm. She has sexual needs, but she has no feeling when she sees her wife;

two The wife doesn't love herself any more, she only has children in her eyes;

three Postpartum vaginal relaxation is not as good as the feeling of having sex before, it is not stimulating enough, and it is better to masturbate;

four The wife is too painful to have children. She is the culprit of her pain and hates sex life;

five . The wife had an extramarital affair during pregnancy and refused to have sex with her because of emotional problems;

six . Wives who had sex before giving birth

(Special column on sex and love) It seems that we always hear such complaints: "How can a woman be like a wooden person in bed? She doesn't take the initiative at all. It's so boring!" "She makes me feel like a hot face sticking to a cold butt!" However, Do women really have no sexual desire ？

Actually not. Women's desire for sex Not weaker, but many women don't know how to express themselves. Even when they feel strong Sexual impulse On the contrary, we should try to cover it up. Because women are worried that once their lovers see through their "true colors" Will look down on them I don't cherish them anymore.

on the other hand, Women's sexual desire is often related to intimacy The considerate love of lovers is the best hotbed for women's sexual desire; But in heterosexual relationships, men tend to treat caring and making love separately. So when women are full of sexual interest, it coincides with the demand of men who are all asexual. Even if women make some hints, men don't understand the customs, so women choose not to express their feelings when there are many incongruous situations.

thus it can be seen, Women want to enjoy self dominated sex , we should not only understand our sexual desire, but also Dare to express their sexual desire ； In heterosexual relationships, both understand men's sexual desire and are good at making

Letters from netizens:

​ I am a 27 year old girl who has just finished the wedding banquet for two months. Something has been bothering me. I am a thin skinned person and never dare to tell people around me, so I am writing to you for help. I grew up in a military family, a traditional family of loving mother and strict father. So I have been very polite since I was young, and I am very traditional when I grow up. At the age of 25, I met my current husband and got married after a year of love. We have a very good relationship, which can be said to be Each other's soul mates 。

But after being married for so long, I'm still a virgin 。 Before marriage, I had always been proud of my cleanliness, but now I feel very bad, and even feel sorry for him.

We both seek to share the spiritual world (listening to songs and watching movies), which is similar to Plato's. But for Seldom try sex We tried together about ten times. Every time I felt pain, so I always failed. Bought lubricant I didn't succeed and didn't know what to do.

He has little experience, plus I'm nervous and I feel pain easily , so it is always unsuccessful. Can you help me

Letters from netizens: My husband and I have been together for three years. We have been married on weekends. at first Sex process

I still feel a little bit, but I haven't felt it since then, Not excited at all , which has nothing to do with what is described in books and movies.

I only have period of ovulation Only have sexual desire, and have no feeling when having sex, usually Vaginal dryness 。

Now my husband and I have no foreplay, and he said a little about me Can't stimulate his sexual desire He had sex with me when he had sexual desire. He said that the temperature in my vagina was low and I didn't feel much when I went in.

This sexual relationship hurts me. What should I do?

reply:

Letters from netizens:

​ My boyfriend and I are Off-site On average, we can see each other twice a month. I have been together for more than two years, and have a good relationship. I also have plans to get married. Last year Start trying to love I tried six or seven times, but failed. Neither he nor I have experience for the first time 。

I am open to sex and hope to have more intimate physical contact. My boyfriend and I are very different in sex. He thinks sex is dispensable; It's disgusting to talk about sex in public, but also feel private

1. How to explain normal physiological phenomena?

The reason why parents find it difficult to explain normal physiological phenomena is that they find it difficult to talk about sex. They have never heard parents naturally mention these things to themselves in the process of growing up, so they feel embarrassed. In addition, parents may feel that they may not be able to tell their children the most scientific knowledge in this regard, so they will have no idea.

The development of the child's second sexual characteristics in adolescence is a period when the child's physical changes are very obvious. From this time on, the child began to pay special attention to his own body and felt shy because of sexual development. Not every child can accept his or her own physical changes calmly, so parents should pay attention to guiding children who have negative emotions or misconceptions about their sexual development to ensure their physical and mental health. For example, Adam's apple, beard, voice change, penis growth, erection, and spermatorrhea are the changes of boys after all. The first three are external changes. Boys who have these characteristics earlier or later may be teased by their peers. Girls with well-developed breasts may also experience the same situation. At this time, parents need to cheer up their children, improve their confidence in getting into normal development, and correctly deal with the various pranks of their peers. Spermatogenesis and menstruation are the most symbolic physiological changes in adolescence. Parents should tell their children before adolescence. At that time, children's shyness and resistance will be low, so that they can master physiological health knowledge.

Last but not least, it is necessary for parents to supplement sexual knowledge, especially in adolescent sex education

1. How can parents guide a 14-year-old boy to show his love when he meets a homosexual?

First of all, it is necessary to distinguish whether the thing that the same sex shows love to him is something that the child actively tells the parents or that the parents find out. If the child speaks on his/her own initiative, it shows that the child trusts his/her parents very much, and sex related topics can be discussed at home; If a child's emotions are angry and disgusted, it means that his knowledge and ideas about homosexuality are negative. He just wants to vent his emotions, and does not necessarily need the help of parents; If the child's mood is helpless and anxious, it means that he is in trouble and hopes to get help from his parents. At this time, parents should tell themselves the different feelings of heterosexual and homosexual contact during adolescence, and tell their children when and how to determine who they like; Then ask the child how he felt when and now when he was loved by the same sex; Finally, if you all have a lot of confusion in this regard, I hope you can find a sexual psychologist to consult with your children in time.

If it is discovered by the parents, it means that the children do not need to discuss this issue with their parents, or at least not at present. Therefore, parents should not make a fuss about it as if they are facing a major enemy, but should discuss homosexual communication with their children by telling other people's stories or social status quo, and see their views, And tell the child where to have the most professional sex education guidance (find such a counselor first).

2. How to explain sexual orientation to children? Does sexual orientation need guidance?

In fact, sexual orientation is a person's attitude towards what gender