The German bully is called Mobbing, which translates into Chinese and is a mob nuisance!
1： When a child is bullied, parents should help him in the first place!
Many articles on the definition and coping methods of bullying give a lot of guidance, but as a parent of a primary school student and a middle school student, from the children's kindergarten, bullying events that are basically contacted or learned do exist! We have been bullied before. To be honest, we have bullied other children later!
My brother Adi has just celebrated his 11th birthday. He used to be a sensitive and slow boy. Later, he gradually grew up to be a confident and sunny child. Adi is a Scorpio child, pure hearted, but also has his own small problems. He belongs to a child whose parents and teachers need to pay more attention!
On the first day of school, Adi met a domineering child who threatened to hit you with his arm as soon as the teacher praised you again. When Adi's brother was drawing, he would deliberately bump his arm and smile proudly when he saw Adi's color painted outside the line! Later, I learned that the two brothers above the child and the younger sister below him are usually boys who fight against more strength at home!
Adi brother was harassed by him for two days in succession, especially his parents were nervous. He turned the page after he offered to let the teacher change his seat!
Later, this boy has always been a child who has made big mistakes and small mistakes, but he and Adi brother have become good friends!
This event made me, a young mother, face up to the campus bullying event for the first time! I'm also happy that we got involved in time and solved the problem better. Brother Adi has no shadow!
But soon another child was bullied. This time, brother Adi, as a bystander, also received the story issued by the school and the warning that parents should discipline their children more!
During the physical education class, several boys surrounded a fat boy and refused to let him change his clothes properly. The boy cried on the spot and told the teacher, and pointed out several boys watching, including Adi's name! Although the bullied child knew who was the mastermind, he also reported to the laughing melon eating crowd!
Europe or Germany, relatively sensitive to physical contact! If a kindergarten teacher changes a child's diaper, he or she must be authorized by his or her parents in advance. If the child is in the toilet without a third party, the teacher cannot help the child to go to the toilet alone, whether of the same sex or the opposite sex! So the mother of the child thought it was serious and ordered the parents' meeting and the school board to deal with these suspected children seriously!
One wave is not flat, another wave is rising!
Just a few days after it stopped, the head teacher called the parents again. This time, it was because in the men's toilet, a mastermind ordered a child to urinate in the garbage can, or he would not be allowed to leave the toilet! The child also cried, but Adi was also one of the five children present, and was also criticized by the head teacher!
But these three incidents all happened in grade one of primary school, and then the boys never had similar incidents from grade four of primary school!
Looking back, I think:
1. It is necessary and crucial for the victim's parents to intervene in time to help the weak children!
2. The attitude of the school is also very important. The school's handling opinions clearly tell the children that bullying is prohibited!
3. The parents of the bully can't ignore the timely education of their children. For example, the mastermind of the two events, the little boy, was a thorn in the head when he was in kindergarten. After the school and his parents had all kinds of strict supervision on him, he had no similar vicious events later!
4. Bullies are rats on the street. In fact, children also know that, so they need to shout out when they meet bullies!
Adigo has been in primary school for 4 years, and there are 11 boys in his class. It can be said that everyone grew up naked together, and parents are familiar with it. When things happen, parents can face them correctly! It's different from the other day when a mixed race child was bullied in Germany, whose parents and schools were indifferent. Adi's school and parents are relatively successful!
2： Unless the child can bear it, parents must help solve it!
In fact, there is always bullying on campus. If there are children, there will be Jianghu. Especially children, no matter how good the school is, no matter how good the teacher is, it is impossible to keep an eye on all children all day long. So the key point is that children should learn how to deal with it, or that they will not be bullied if they are strong!
Girls will also have bullying events!
We all like a little girl named Ru Ru. Her mother mentioned in a chat that her own daughter met a girl named Yaya since she entered kindergarten. Yaya doesn't like Ru Ru, and she instigates other girls not to play with Ru Ru! For example, several of her favorite girlfriends in kindergarten were as old as Yaya. Two years later, they went to primary school. If she felt relieved, she could not imagine that one year later, when Ru entered primary school, Yaya also stipulated that other girls should not play with Ru!
Ruru's mother smiled helplessly. She shrugged her shoulders and said that Ruru had to wait three years for Yaya to leave primary school and go to middle school!
As a mother with girls at home, I was shocked when I heard that my mother had been allowed to exist for two years and seemed to be ready to wait for another three years.... Of course, the child will have other good friends, but this is like a shadow. How can mother be indifferent!
I asked her Ru Ru's own reaction? She said that her daughter cried several times at first, but later she didn't care. She always found time to play with her good friends when Yaya couldn't see them!
I asked directly: shouldn't we help children as mothers?
She smiled and said: Children always have to learn to be strong, especially this kind of social ability. It is good to meet early, and can learn and grow up early. Parents can help, but they can't help her all her life. She must overcome it by herself!
What's funny is that Ru Ru and Yaya are also good friends of Tianniu. When I asked Tianniu with some indignation, she shrugged her shoulders like Ru Ru's mother and said, "Yaya says, no one listens to her, so we still play with Ru Ru!"!
Personally, I am neither a troublemaker nor a fearless person, so if I asked my husband about this matter, as a German man, he said he could not tolerate it, especially for such a long time, he would certainly find a chance to tell Yaya that it could not be like this! I also asked another German mother, who has two boys and a girl in her family. She said that she would definitely come forward in time. When the child was young, she needed her mother's help most. Such a young child obviously could not deal with such bullying, so parents must come forward to help the child!
3： If your children bully other children, parents should give more education
Adi and Tianniu are basically children with many good friends from kindergarten to primary school to middle school now, so there is no one to isolate them. However, Adi's brother, together with several other children, bullied a boy in his class on another street. The child is small, has poor grades, and has many strange words. His homework is often not handed in. The teacher calls him the parent, The parents shrugged their shoulders and said that we should not go to the liberal arts and science school, and we should not be so strict with him! (children's paraphrase)
So several times when they played together in the playground, Adi and his children didn't play with him. Adi didn't buy him ice cream when he invited everyone to eat. So the child cried and told his parents that Adi bullied him. His parents visited us twice. The boy was very polite and said, "We can teach Adi, but it's his freedom to play with whom he likes"! Later, the boy's parents brought their own community team. The father took his brother and the mother took his sister. Slowly, the children played together again!
As a parent, Boy1 has his own theory. He said that little boys need to be strong. He was an angel when he first entered middle school, but when he was 13 years old and 14 years old, he became a problem boy. After being controlled by his mother for many years, he resisted fiercely. At that time, parents around him warned their children not to play with him! He took a group of small gangsters to bully other children, but most of them encountered a push or kick that was not pleasing to the eye, and never stared at a child for a long time or targeted bully!
I remember Mannheim once had a mother who found the child and his parents for the first time when her daughter was confronted with a bullying incident, and said directly: If she bullies my daughter again, I will let my husband tear down your house with Chinese martial arts!
The first male student also agreed with the mother. He said that what our children need most is our protection and support in recent years. Now that Adi is in middle school, he can not only be so powerful that others dare not bully him, but even if he meets a child, he can laugh it off. At this time, parents can let go! Last time, a big boy in Adi's class joked that Adi looked like "Young Hiller"! Adi shrugged his shoulders and said, "Very good, I think young Hixler is cool!"
When my brother came home and occasionally mentioned it to us, the man commented: "Adi, you are very good, and you avoided a dispute very well! If the boy commits another crime next time, tell him your father will come to school and kick him off!" Later, when talking about this matter with the man, he said that it was a big or small thing, but even if the child played a joke, Adi didn't mind! If it's too big, we will sue the school, and the child will be punished by the school, because Hixler is a sensitive name in Germany, and children are not allowed to make jokes like this!
At noon this afternoon, I went to pick up brother Adi from school and went directly to the dentist. I met a group of half aged children on the school corridor. They were pushing and shoving a boy. When I passed by, I instinctively asked, "Are you all in good order?" The two boys immediately stopped and said with a smile: "All right, we are playing!"!
4、 When children encounter bullying,
1. Keep close communication with children. If children have problems, especially bullying, they can ask their parents for help in time!
2. Listen to the children's experience and ideas in time, including handling methods... The parents judge the coping methods according to the children's actual situation!
3. Campus bullying always exists, and children's social interaction is more like the primitive jungle, so it is normal for children to encounter disputes or bullying, but they can't meet one after another!
4. The strong and confident children themselves are the most powerful counterattack against bullying!
5. When children encounter bullying, parents should be calm and confident! Calm can help us find a more scientific response. Confidence means that we should sue the school, the parents, and the lawyers. There is nothing to be afraid of, and we should not scold our children for being stupid, weak, and bullying is the other party's first mistake. Our children are not wrong!
6. In addition to the children's efforts to be right and wrong free/popular/progressive, parents can also pay more attention to the children's situation at school, especially the communication with teachers, not to flatter the teachers, but to pay more attention to the children's learning. When there are activities in the school, help them more and support the outings or festival activities organized by teachers! Human kindness is everywhere. Teachers like parents and children, so they will naturally pay more attention to children!
Interception: It just happened around me. Christmas is coming. The teacher in the class wants to organize the children to celebrate Christmas. Mother Sutain in the watercolor class drew a Christmas card for the child, but after the child got the class, the whole class and the children in the next class all said they would like to have one! In the morning when I was writing pictures, there was a lot of excitement in the group. They told me to ask my mother to buy a printer and a plastic packaging machine, and simply draw a few more greeting cards. As a support for the teacher's activities, they sent each child a Christmas card. I'm sure everyone will like it!
The mother was happy to prepare the card. When I was writing this article, I thought: Through this, I believe that her little boy will be crowned with the attribute "He has a mother who can draw" among more than 100 children in two classes. I believe that teachers will also thank the mother for her support for their work.... This child may benefit from the warmth of reciprocity during the whole primary school period because of his mother's small act:)
We often have some warm topics with sweet girls, such as who was bullied. What should you do if a girl is bullied? She burst out laughing and said, "The boys in our class are afraid of me because I can hit them with my fist. It turns out that when brother Adi heard me tell him in primary school, they would not bother us girls"! I also asked her if the boys in your class bullied other children? She said yes, a group of ruffians often followed Fa Fa (a boy) and shouted "Fa Yi Fa" to make him angry, but Fa Fa doesn't matter. He said that if they had strength, they would shout!
The children are confident and self strengthening, and the parents are confident and self strengthening. Let the school bully away from our children!
