I started collecting free stickers in magazines and food. When I went shopping with my mother, I accidentally found that various stickers can be bought in the jewelry store. But most of these stickers cost more than ten yuan, which was not a small amount at that time. I know that when I speak to my mother, she will scold me and say, "What's the use of buying this?". Yes, on second thought, I don't know what the actual use of these stickers is. Maybe there is only one, which is to collect a box full of envy and envy when showing off to friends.
But one day, I suddenly had an idea. There are so many patterns of stickers that I can't collect them all. Thinking of this, I suddenly no longer interested in collecting stickers.
Later, I entered high school. In the second semester of senior high school, the sensibility in my body suddenly woke up, which taught me to catch the cold of adolescence. I began to become very melancholy, and thought that such a temperament was attractive. I began to collect all kinds of small objects, notes written by others, small gifts and stationery left behind, and gave them feelings and meanings that only I can understand, and finally put them into the candy box. " You see, this is the neutral pen you forgot in the drawer at that time. "I imagine that in a certain scene several years later, I will open the box again and take out the black civilized neutral pen, Pass it to her I put it away. Because every time I see it, I seem to see you. " Tell her this, she will be moved. Thinking of these scenes and the tears she left when she was moved, I unconsciously moistened my eyes.
One day, a girl in the class gave me a candy. I still remember clearly that she put one of her own into her mouth after giving it to me. And I put the candy into my mouth, smiled and said to her, "Thank you, I'll eat later."
That night, when I got home, I opened the lid of the box and put the candy on the bottom of the sticker, exposing some gaps so that I could see it as soon as I opened the box. It makes me believe that the future is always under my control. And the love scene that will happen in the future will also be released as scheduled.
In a twinkling of an eye, my senior year was drawing to a close, and the parting atmosphere deepened my sadness. "Since we are going to separate after graduation, what's the use of my efforts here?" I said, like everyone in the class, I want to remember this class. But I know that in fact, I don't remember the whole class so much. What I remember is only a few people, someone. But at that time, I was so humble and weak. Only by including someone in the concept of the collective, could I be a little brave and say the intention of "remembering". I prayed silently in my heart, even if she didn't say it, she should also know it. One day, she will know. I can't say this emotion clearly, so I repress it in my heart, until sometimes, I can't restrain myself.
When I came home and saw the candy box full of secrets and secret love, my heart suddenly filled with sadness. I didn't give up. When I opened the box and saw the object full of memories, my sadness became more deadly, even my body hurt. I finally understand that she will never know what I have done for her. Those objects that I was full of joy and expected to be full of beautiful plots only became the perfect evidence of my secret love, cowardice and tears that witnessed countless failures in the past.
Finally, I put the candy box into the bedside table where it can be easily seen. As I no longer see it, I can't remember to be sad again.
After a long time, one day, I opened the box and found the candy by accident. I almost forgot the existence of that candy. The recliner, which used to be very precious, has now been covered with dust, faded its luster, and even shows signs of mildew. I carefully twisted the sugar coat and lifted it up. I could not tell what it was like. Suddenly, I didn't know what to say to this symbolic candy.
Later, because of moving, I lost the box. I thought I would be very sad, but the fact is not so. On the contrary, I experienced the lightness and comfort that seemed to have never been experienced before. The gloom accumulated in my heart for a long time seems to disappear with the disappearance of the box. With an adventurous attitude, I tried to imagine all the melancholy and sadness I had experienced before, but it seemed that I couldn't remember. Memory seems to lose its authenticity in an instant.
I'm so lucky that I lost the box. More importantly, I seem to have rediscovered the secret of happiness. At that moment when I felt like regaining a new life, I made a new decision for myself - "If someone handed me candy in the future life, I would take the candy, and then remove the icing, Eat it quickly 。 “
I quickly forgot that I had eaten this candy.
So, the person who gave me candy also showed funny surprise for such straightforward me. And I never explained.
Because they never know, the goodwill represented by this candy may make me look forward to something. This expectation may make the world that I have been slowly healing for a long time easily collapse at the moment of eye contact. It's not that I don't want to believe it. It's just that the facts prove that all the stories that once let me bury my expectations, today, there is only one thing that can remind me now, and I can smile without regret. Only one piece.
So they will not understand that without expectations, there will be no pain caused by the failure of expectations. Without expectation, there will be no regret for inaction. No expectation is safe and protected.
"One day, when I am brave enough, I will not expect anything to happen. I do not expect anything to happen, I let it happen." Thinking like this, I finally do not expect anything to happen.
At the end of the story, I didn't finish it. After all, I didn't know the end until that day came. Now I "don't expect anything anymore", so I have to hold the idea that I don't expect anything and keep looking forward to it.
