Self esteem, also known as "self-esteem" and "sense of self-esteem", is an emotional experience of self-respect, self love, self respect generated and formed by individuals based on self-evaluation, and requires respect from others, the collective and society.Self esteem is the psychological component of personality self-regulation structure.Self esteem can be strong or weak. If it is too strong, it will become vanity. If it is too weak, it will become inferiority.[1]
Self esteem, that is, self respect, refers to the individual'ssocial roleResults of self-evaluation.Self esteem is formed through social comparison and is the result of individual self-evaluation of their social roles.Self esteem first shows self respect and self love.Self esteem also includes the expectation of others, the collective and the society to respect themselves.
Another view, self-esteem, that is, self-worth, is the affirmation of one's comprehensive value.It is influenced by social comparison, others' evaluation, and self affirmation of success or failure.
influence factor
Announce
edit
Viewpoint 1: self-esteem=success ÷ ambition
U.S.AFunctionalist psychologyPioneer ofW. JamesIn the book Principles of Psychology (1890), he proposed a formula of self-esteem: self-esteem=success ÷ ambition.It means: "Self esteem depends on success, and also depends on the significance of success to individuals. Increasing success and reducing ambition can achieve high self-esteem. Success may have many constraints, which is not easy to do, but we can reduce our expectations for work and life. In this way, a small success may make us happy.".
Viewpoint 2: self-esteem=self ambition × social respect
Self respect is just self respect, which means neither kowtowing to others nor allowing others to discriminate or insult, but it does not mean that others respect the corresponding subject in reality.Self esteem is embodied in two aspects:
1. Self respect and self love (self ambition).
2. Expect to ask others, the collective and society to respect themselves accordingly.
People who are really popular and popular don't need self-esteem, because "self-esteem" is hypocritical and will be despised by others in this situation. So many people with "fans" tend to be modest, not proud, or even "self abased" in order to be worthy of "fans" at the corresponding time and situation.(This also shows the inverse relationship between self ambition and social respect)
Healthy self-esteem only means self recognition, while unhealthy self-esteem means "forcing" people to recognize.Of course, only self recognition can be recognized by others, which is the most important. This is the significance of "Ji Hongchang's listing in the United States to show that he is a Chinese", "Zhu Ziqing would rather die than receive American relief food" and other actions, which will also make people work hard.
The "compulsive" nature of self-esteem to others due to inferiority or pure self recognition also makes it inevitable that people with "excessive" self-esteem will become jealous of others, or have vanity, or become egotistical, orVindictive psychology。In the final analysis, this kind of self-esteem lacking the basis of external respect is just the result of "inferiority complex", which is the result of others or the society's failure to give them the corresponding status in reality, that is, if the inner self is more than "inferiority complex", the outer performance is more than "self-esteem", which is called the relationship between implicit self-esteem ("inferiority complex") and explicit self-esteem ("self-esteem") in psychology.However, people with healthy self-esteem should be able to stand alone. Self abasement, jealousy and vanity are all yoursThe way forwardThe enemy on the way can defeat the world only by defeating himself.
In a word, healthy self-esteem is not only the result of self recognition, but also the result of social respect. But social respect is also a continuous "food" for self-esteem, otherwise the so-called self-esteem will be difficult to last for a long time.
Viewpoint 3: self-esteem comes from self-esteem needs (textbook)
Self esteem comes from the need for self-esteem, including two aspects: first, the desire for achievements, advantages and self-confidence;The second is the desire for reputation, dominance and appreciation.The elements of self-esteem aresense of security、Sense of belonging、fulfillmentThese factors are all related to the individual's external environment.
Viewpoint 4: Self esteem comes from social comparison
self-esteem
Psychologists believe that self-esteem is achieved through socialcompareFormed.Each of us has a need to understand ourselves, to know our position in the community and society, so as to realize our own value.Sometimes, we can learn about ourselves through some objective reference standards, such as blood pressure, pulse, temperature and other observable indicators to learn about our health.However, most of the time, we do not have such objective criteria for reference, and we can only evaluate ourselves by comparing ourselves with others.For example, we can't estimate our height, weight or fatness by our own height and weight.We cannot answer whether a person who is 1.80 meters tall is tall or short, because there is no objective standard to refer to.In some places, this person may only be a medium;But in other places, this person may be a giant.A typical example is that most college freshmen will have this experience: in high school, each of them is very smart;But after they went to college, they found that they were not so outstanding, just ordinary people.
Only comparison can lead to self-esteem. Without comparison, there will be no self-esteem.In general,Social comparisonThere are two main ways: one is to compare with people who are better or better than themselves, which is usually called upward comparison;The other is to compare with people who are weaker or worse than us. We usually call it downward comparison.People often think that compared with people who are better than themselves, they will have negative feelings such as jealousy, hostility, frustration, etcEmotional experienceCompared with people who are worse than themselves, they will have positive emotional experiences such as superiority, satisfaction and happiness.In fact, it will not necessarily lead to positive or negative effects, whether compared with people who are better than themselves or worse than themselves.What kind of effect will be produced depends on the specific situation.
In comparison with people who are better than themselves, if the comparison goal is closely related to themselves or belongs to the same category, it will have a positive effect.For example, some people often say in front of others that they know a famous person, or that a famous person is a classmate or friend of their own, in order to improve their self-esteem.This phenomenon, in thePsychologyIt is usually calledradiation effect That is, the good quality of the comparison target will radiate to oneself, thus stimulating positive emotional experience.On the contrary, if the comparison target is alienated, unfamiliar, or not in the same category, it will have negative effects.For example, when a woman with medium appearance walks with a beautiful woman she doesn't know, she will appear embarrassed and lower her self-esteem.This phenomenon is usually called in psychologyContrast effectThat is, to feel the gap with the comparison goal, thus generating negative emotional experience.
These two situations also exist in comparison with people who are worse than themselves, but the effect is just opposite.If the comparison target is closely related to oneself or belongs to the same category, it will produce radiation effect, that is, the other party's bad qualities will radiate to oneself, thus reducing self-esteem;If the comparison target is alienated, unfamiliar, or not in the same category, it will produce a contrast effect, that is, feel stronger than the other party, thus improving self-esteem.
Viewpoint 5: Self esteem comes from knowing shame
What kind of person is the best?Psychologists believe that the ideal comparison target is people who are close to and slightly better than themselves.
(1) Self esteem beginshave a sense of shame, yessense of shameOnly when people can control their own behavior, do not do vulgar and mean things, and live with dignity;
(2) With shame, we will be ashamed of our improper behavior;
(3) With a sense of shame, we will feel ashamed if we do something wrong;
(4) With shame, we feel guilty for failing others' expectations.
Being aware of shame and achieving self-esteem is a powerful driving force for a person to move forward. Only by being aware of shame can we cherish our own self-esteem more and win the respect of others, otherwise we will never win the respect of others.
Sometimes, in the process of looking for self-esteem, we are often blindfolded by our current shortcomings and shortcomings, unable to see our own advantages, experience our own value, feel disappointed with ourselves, and have a deep sense of shame, which is very detrimental to our growth."No one is perfect, no one is perfect", a person's shortcomings are not terrible, the key is to be able to treat themselves correctly.
There are four characteristics in the parenting of children with high self-esteem:
First, warm and caring, actively accept children's characteristics and needs, and enthusiastically participate in children's games and other activities;
Second, strict requirements, clear requirements, but no mandatory control;
Third, democracy, making decisions about children, giving children the freedom to express their views, and listening to their opinions patiently;
Fourth, set an example for children.
2. Peer relationship factors
Establishing peer friendship and being accepted collectively are two important factors of self-esteem experience.A high degree of closeness and collective acceptance of friends is an important need for self-esteem. Intimacy is conducive to establishing attachment and social support, and helps to alleviate the impact of pressure and negative emotions.
Self esteem scale
Announce
edit
subject
Guidance: This scale is used to understand how you view yourself.Please read the following sentences carefully and choose the option that best suits your situation.Please note that the answer here is what you actually think of yourself, not what you think you should be.There is no right or wrong answer or good or bad answer. Please describe yourself according to your real situation.Your answer will never be disclosed, so you don't need to worry about it.Please make sure that every question is answered and only one answer is selected.Thank you for your cooperation!
Option: A, very consistent B, consistent C, inconsistent D, very inconsistent
Very consistent
accord with
Non conformance
Very inconsistent
1. I feel that I am a valuable person, at least on the same level as others.
four
three
two
one
2. I feel I have many good qualities.
four
three
two
one
3. In the end, I tend to feel like a loser.
one
two
three
four
4. I can do things well like most people.
four
three
two
one
5. I don't think I have much to be proud of.
one
two
three
four
6. I'm positive about myself.
four
three
two
one
7. On the whole, I am satisfied with myself.
four
three
two
one
8. I hope I can win more respect for myself.
four
three
two
one
9. I do often feel useless.
one
two
three
four
10. I often think I am nothing.
one
two
three
four
Introduction and grading
Self esteem Scale (SES)It is designed to assess individuals' overall feelings about self-worth and self acceptance.
The scale consists of 10 items, and the convenience of measurement is fully considered in the design.Subjects reported directly whether these descriptions were consistent with themselves.The score is divided into four levels: 1 is very consistent, 2 is consistent, 3 is not consistent, and 4 is very inconsistent.The total score range is 10-40. The higher the score, the higher the self-esteem.
This scale has been widely used. It is concise and easy to score. It is a direct assessment of your positive or negative feelings.
Suggestions for scoring
1. The description of SES score and value in the Manual shall be clearly stated as follows:
For questions l, 2, 4, 6, 7, 8 (positive scoring questions), "very inconsistent" scores 1 point, "inconsistent" scores 2 points, "consistent" scores 3 points, "very consistent" scores 4 points;For 3, 5, 9 and 10 questions (reverse scoring questions), "very inconsistent" scores 4 points, "inconsistent" scores 3 points, "consistent" scores 2 points, and "very consistent" scores 1 point.The higher the score, the higher the self-esteem.
2. Considering the cultural differences between China and the West, change question 8 to positive scoring.[2]
Interpretation and Norms
According to the norm, the total score is given, for example:
Your score in this test is: points;Explain your level of self-esteem (high, medium, low).
mental health
Announce
edit
As mentioned above, self-esteem is the psychological root of human life, which can maintain the healthy development and perfection of a person's life.In the process of self-esteem affecting people, the first thing to bear the brunt is people's mental health.In other words, self-esteem initially works on a person's psychological response and mental health, and the incompleteness or completeness of life (especially people's social life and mental life) directly comes from the right or wrong of mental health.
In social life, society always puts forward such and such requirements for people.However, no matter what kind of requirements, no matter what kind of society, the requirements are basically the same, that is, people should be healthy, active and developing, and people should appear in front of the public with a good image.So, what is keeping a good image of people?Impression retouching is certainly a frequently effective means, but it is only a superficial means. The internal and deep psychological mechanism of maintaining a good image is actually self-esteem.Psychologist BednarR. (1989) once pointed out that all people have a need to maintain a positive, healthy and upward self-image, which is not only a powerful weapon to prevent and avoid the harm and pressure caused by the living environment, but also a basic force for individual development.This is a concrete manifestation of self-esteem that enables people to better adapt to the social environment and buffer basic anxiety: self-esteem motivates people to pursue and present a good social image, so as to better adapt to the social environment.And good social adaptation is one of the important signs of mental health.
If self-esteem is insufficient or even lacking, people will not be able to correctly treat their own and others' evaluations, timely and appropriately respond to the requirements or events of the social environment, and timely alleviate the basic anxiety in life.In a word, people cannot carry out social life normally.Therefore, people with low self-esteem (low self-esteem) usually present a bad self-image to the society, which shows two types of behaviors or attitudes: one is self injurious behavior or attitude, which mainly points to self.Its manifestations include self abandonment, self pity, self pity, self contempt, etc., and even the possibility of giving up life and refusing to live in the world;The other is narcissistic or egocentric behavior and attitude, which mainly points to others and the environment.There may be extreme behaviors and wrong behaviors, such as irresponsible, indifferent, self-centered, hostile, attacking others, retaliating against the society, and even go on the road of breaking the law and committing crimes.But no matter what kind of behavior or attitude, it reflects mental health problems.It should be pointed out that although people with low self-esteem do not present a good self-image or social image, it does not mean that they do not have the need to maintain their good image.On the contrary, it is the contradiction between this need and self image that leads to psychological imbalance and shows various unhealthy attitudes and behaviors.
Specifically, self-esteem is the psychological root of human life, and self-esteem needs will inevitably become one of the basic needs of every individual life.Self esteem needs, in a sense, to maintain a good self-image.However, the level of self-esteem depends on the interaction between individuals and the social environment.If this interaction is benign, the level of self-esteem can often develop higher;If it is vicious, the level of self-esteem is often low, which is what we call insufficient self-esteem.When there is a serious conflict between the lack of realistic self-esteem and the need for ideal self-esteem, psychological problems will follow.Disparity Models put forward by the psychological circle in the 1990s pointed out that the self difference between the real self and the ideal self or the difference between the real self and the supposed self would lead to a general negative sense of self-esteem and dysfunction (P253-271).In other words, a person with low self-esteem often feels that on the one hand, the need to maintain a good self-image is very urgent;On the other hand, the self image displayed is not satisfactory (to be exact, it is not satisfactory to oneself), and the gap and conflict between the two urge individuals to pursue the emotional experience of self respect more subjectively.Unfortunately, in the process of this pursuit, individuals with insufficient self-esteem often go to two extremes due to "inborn inadequacy": one is that the gap between the two is too large, and individuals are unable to bridge, resulting in a sense of learned powerlessness, which leads to the first type of behavior and attitude, namely, self injurious behavior and attitude;The other extreme is towards narcissism or egotism.This is because individuals do not obtain the satisfaction of self-esteem needs through normal ways, but retreat to the current self-esteem state and exaggerate and stick to this self-esteem state, thus showing contempt for the requirements of the external environment and even deliberately antagonizing.This narcissistic self esteem that looks like high self-esteem is essentially a weak or false self-esteem phenomenon. In fact, individuals are extremely eager for the respect and care of others.Many psychologists and educators have found this phenomenon.For example, Coopersmith calls this self-esteem "discrepant self esteem", Brandon, executive director of the International Association of Self esteem Psychology, calls it "pseudo self-esteem", while Mruk and other researchers use the term "defensive self-esteem" to summarize this phenomenon.
True high self-esteem is a dynamically balanced self-esteem.In other words, there is a dynamic balance between self-esteem needs (or the need to maintain a good self-image) and self status (or current self-image).On the one hand, people with high self-esteem are often satisfied with their own status quo, and they are confident in their own ability and value, even if such ability and value are not higher than others;On the other hand, although people with high self-esteem are satisfied with their current situation, they are not stagnant.On the contrary, it is precisely because they are very satisfied and confident with themselves that they have exactly displayed the good image expected by the society in both life and work, and the social environment has naturally made good feedback, thus forming a positive interaction with the social environment, and thus constantly improving and enhancing their self-esteem.As Rosenberg pointed out, high self-esteem does not mean superiority.People with high self-esteem do not necessarily see themselves as better than others. They are just able to feel at ease. High self-esteem does not include a sense of perfection (P50).Brandon also pointed out that self-confidence and self affirmation are the core of self-esteem, and they reflect the most basic elements of self-esteem (P19-20).This kind of self-confidence and self affirmation makes people look at themselves and everything around them with optimism, trust and value, so that they have good psychological quality and state of mind.People with high self-esteem will also fail and fall down, and there will be disharmonious conflicts between their self-image and self-esteem needs. However, they can easily resolve such conflicts in the benign interaction with the social environment, and quickly restore psychological balance, so as to maintain psychological harmony and health.
A large number of empirical studies have confirmed that self-esteem is closely related to mental health.This not only includes that the lack of self-esteem (i.e. low self-esteem) is closely related to many important negative possibilities such as depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation, dysfunction, and problematic behavior, but also includes that having enough self-esteem (i.e. high self-esteem) is often closely related to positive mental health and general mental well-being.
It can be seen that self-esteem is the core of mental health and the root of mental happiness.How this core state is directly related to the state of mental health: high self-esteem derives various manifestations of mental health due to good social adaptation, including healthy cognition, healthy behavior and healthy mentality;Low self-esteem leads to unhealthy mental state and behavior due to poor adaptation to society.
Other related
Announce
edit
Self esteem cultivation
The psychological quality of self-esteem is not innate, but gradually cultivated in life, study and work.In order to cultivate correct self-esteem, we need to do the following: first, find the fulcrum of personal self-esteem (fulcrum refers to our outstanding advantages andStrengths）；Second, we should have the right direction (to cultivate individual self-esteem, we should know how to raise individual self-esteem to a collective,countryGain self-esteem);In a word, we must continue to inherit and carry forward the glorious tradition of the Chinese nation. We must consider the interests of the motherland in every word and deed. In our dealings with foreigners, we must respect ourselves, love ourselves, be neither arrogant nor servile. Under no circumstances can we damage the honor of the motherland and the dignity of the people with our words and deeds. This is the national self-esteem that every Chinese should have.
Self esteem massage
First of all, you should let the other party know that you have been attracted by his (or her) magic quickly;Then, in the process of your conversation, you must let the other party feel that you really show unlimited understanding and recognition.From the third step, add your identity to your daily life.Now, as the person in love shows more and more of himself to you, you should always give implicit praise in return.In this process, you can create private jokes and use other techniques to make him (or her) feel very unique.Finally, when the person you want feels that you have fully understood how unique he (or she) is, it is time for you to give a killer compliment.
vanity
vanityIt is the psychology that a person excessively pursues surface glory and brilliance to win the respect of others.That is what we usually call "too strong self-esteem".People with strong vanity often regard whether it is good for personal honor as the driving force to dominate their own behavior, and always regard whether others value them as a balance. Once others deny their own words and expressions a little, they think that they have damaged their self-esteem and can't stand it. This kind of psychology is unhealthy.People with strong vanity, who are too proud but lack self-confidence, are also prone to jealousy, that is, they cannot tolerate others to surpass themselves.This kind of bad mood endangers people's physical and mental health, destroys the relationship between political parties and classmates, is not conducive to personal growth, and may even cause very serious consequences.
Related quotes
Announce
edit
Related books
A person who has no self-respect can hardly get respect from others.
Whether it is our own affirmation of our own value or others' affirmation of our value, that is, self-esteem and being respected, we are happy.
Self esteem is not to belittle people, self-confidence is not complacency, independence is notisolated。——Xu Teli
Human beings have many noble characters, but one noble character ishuman natureThis is the peak of personal self-esteem——Suhomlinski
As long as you are not discouraged, discouraged, and give up, you believe in yourself and respect yourself, you will feel the happiness of self-esteem.
Self esteem neither kowtow to others nor allow others to discriminate or insult.
One cannot be shameless.The shameless shame is shameless——Mencius
Chu Lan was born in the deep forest. She doesn't want to leave nobody alone;A gentleman cultivates morality and does not betray virtue by poverty——Sub road
You should not belittle yourself because of your great ambition——Zhuge Liang
Tao Yuanming, the great poet of the Eastern Jin Dynasty, once served as Pengze (today's Hukou County, Jiangxi Province).At the end of the year, the county magistrate sent the governor to the county for inspectionTao YuanmingHe said that according to officialdom etiquette, the crown should be neat and the clothes should be tied tightly. See etiquette below.Tao Yuanming was used to everything at will. He didn't follow the usual rules, not to mention his lofty ambition, so he sighed: "How can you bow down to the children in the countryside for five bushels of rice?" Today, he resigned from office and returned to stability. He won't be an official again.
Self respecting Shevchenko
ShevchenkoHe is a famous Russian poet.His poems show his love for his hometown and his resistance to the czar.One day, the tsar summoned him.All the civil and military officials and envoys bowed to the tsar. Only Xie Fuchenko stood aside in awe. The tsar was furious and asked, "Why don't you bow down?" Xie Fuchenko calmly replied: "It's not I who want to see you, but you want to see me. If I bend down deeply in front of you like these people around me, how can you see me?"
Yan Ying Refuses to Receive a Reward
In the Spring and Autumn Period, the prime minister of QiYan YingHe is very talented and appreciated by the monarch.Although he is high in position and power, he does not talk about ostentation and lives a simple life.Qi Jinggong saw that his house was small, low-lying and noisy, so he wanted to change a good house for him.Yan Ying said that this is where my father lived.My virtue is shallow and talent is sparse. It's too much to live in such a house. How can I change to a new house?Seeing that he could not be persuaded, the Duke of Qi Jing took advantage of his envoy to the State of Lu to make a proposal to expand his house.When Yan Ying learned about this after returning home, he stopped at the outskirts of the city and refused to go home until the Duke of Qi Jinggong promised to restore the neighborhood houses and restore their old appearance.The Duke of Qi sent him a Chinese chariot and a strong horse. Yan Ying refused. He said, "I am frugal in order to set an example for the people, so as to avoid the prevalence of extravagance. If our monarchs and officials are well dressed, the people will follow suit and pursue pleasure, leading to misconduct. At that time, it will be difficult to ban them. So I can't accept your reward.
