| | Sometimes busy days make people think more. In recent nights, they have thought a lot and suddenly understood a lot. In self reflection, their mood will also open up. Perhaps after reading the books of Lin Xianzhi and Lin Da, the belief gradually became clear and firm. I feel that there is a big difference between myself and senior high school, at least in reading. I used to prefer poetry and literati's anecdotes. I always had a romantic relationship in my heart. All kinds of ideas kept jumping. In college, I don't know why (it should not be life experience or social experience, except for changing places, there is not much substantial change). Maybe it is the growing age, especially ideological books, which always maintain a strong interest in politics, but less poetry. I can't say much about politics, for fear that a word will come and the journal will not be published. I used to be angry with young people, but many of them hurt my health. Therefore, I am wise not to rely on some ideas in the real social reality. In fact, some things, from the perspective of a citizen, the Party's practices are very childish and ridiculous, especially what we have learned actually more or less overthrows the theory established by the Party itself, It is just like Napoleon taught his conquered people to be free and equal on the way to war. In fact, as a party member, I believe in the party 49 years ago. We study materialism, but the two great words hanging on the Tiananmen Gate are idealistic. Some things are still hidden in my heart, so I don't feel angry anymore. I really don't feel angry anymore.
I remember Lin Da's words in "Take a Book to Paris". The combination of politics and religion in medieval Europe stained the religious spirit, while the combination of politics and Confucianism in China poisoned the supposedly independent academic class. I always have some unspeakable expectations and longings for universities. What I respect is not foreign standards, but the universities in the Republic of China. Those thoughts that burst out with extraordinary splendor, and those cultural confrontations, although I lay still in the book, longing and envy always linger in my heart. So I was fascinated and immersed in the May 4th Spirit. "Chen Yinque and Fu Sinian" can't put it down. The gap in reality always makes people feel out of place. Without lofty pursuit and surging passion, the most feeling is that it is boring. The words "uninteresting" are often hung in the ear. Is this the sorrow of the times?
The reality is always cruel, I always feel a kind of sadness, only occasionally. A large number of people cheat more or less, copy and paste papers, and a large number of malpractices due to enrollment expansion. Everyone can see and feel that people are slowly losing themselves. I often sigh with my friends about the great differences between Chinese and foreign universities, and my loss is self-evident. What we lack is a kind of conscience. The mediocrity gradually "nurtured" by the whole university system has finally become a useless talent.
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