"Teacher Maomao, will you teach us next year?" I have heard this question many times, but I can't answer it.
Acquaintance
One year ago, as a member of the graduate school branch, I came to this middle school, picked up chalk and walked onto the platform. Different from the situation of supporting education that I imagined, this is not the scene of remote mountains and forests and a land of idyllic beauty, but the scene of numerous vehicles and everything. The small county town has developed so fast that I have to lament the outstanding poverty alleviation effect of the country. But the weakness of the students' learning foundation also made me sigh. The class I took over belongs to the first grade of junior high school, and half of the students can't spell. It is conceivable that their learning in other aspects is also unsatisfactory.
After finding out the learning situation, I made psychological preparation and lesson preparation, and walked onto the platform. In my memory, all my Chinese teachers are unsmiling, knowledgeable and strict. Although my knowledge points are detailed, my interest in Chinese is really not high. Therefore, I am determined to be a humorous language teacher, to attract students' attention with interesting knowledge and stimulate their interest in learning. When preparing lessons, I will write down some interesting stories about the use of Chinese, the interesting opinions of the author of the article, and the interesting stories about social knowledge in advance, so that they can be interspersed between textbook knowledge in class. So I didn't teach every single thing in my class. I always talked and laughed. If the students had any ideas in their heads, they would immediately raise their hands to communicate with me. In this way, the workload will certainly increase, but one student once whispered to me after class: "Teacher Maomao, I think you are different from my primary school Chinese teacher, and I like to listen to you in class." This sentence stirred up thousands of ripples in my heart, and those hard work immediately disappeared.
Outside the classroom, I like to catch the "skittish" in the class for endorsement. These students form cliques and do not engage in study. I found them and "beat them one by one". I will "solve" the most easily shaken one first. I believe that once he starts to learn, it will have an impact on their small group. He is a little boy who "loves vanity". I often praise his good work in the class and put on an incredible exaggerated look. At this time, he always smiles shyly, trying to hide some pride in his eyes, but he has entered my "trap". In order to maintain his "glorious image", his homework became more and more excellent. In the dictation class, in order to save time, I only correct the first five dictation books handed in in class, and collect the other homework books, and then correct them after class. Most of the time, students with good grades rush to hand them in for correction in class. In the last few dictations of the first semester, these "skippers" unexpectedly finished writing quickly every time and rushed to let me correct them. The accuracy rate is quite high! Let me secretly happy.
be in love with each other
In this way, time passes in the busy work day after day. Spring has passed and autumn has come, and the mid summer cicadas have gradually gone. It was also an afternoon accompanied by the sound of reading. When I opened my textbook, such an article deeply attracted me - The Man Who Reshaped Life. After reading it, I felt a lot of emotion: I know that it is love that wakes up Helen Keller's soul, it is love that gives her light, hope, happiness and freedom, and it is love that enables her to spend a meaningful life. However, her love comes from Miss Sullivan. In a sense, they are each other's "others". Does this pure love from others really exist? If it exists, what is the feeling of people surrounded by this kind of love? If it doesn't exist, how can Helen Keller write this love so moving? After thinking a lot, the answer suddenly appears.
The school organized an open class competition. I began to prepare long in advance. I asked my instructor, Miss Yang, for advice countless times. I tried and honed classes with her. I also searched almost all relevant open class videos on the Internet for reference, looking forward to doing a great job that day. The students were also eager to try, and confidently said to me: "Teacher Maomao, I believe we can do it!" Their eyes were bright, which made people happy at the sight; Their smiles were so sweet that my anxious heart suddenly relaxed. Yes, I believe that as long as we are ready, our efforts will be rewarded. With such beautiful expectations, that day has finally arrived.
What is the feeling of "backfiring"? It is difficult for those who have not experienced it personally to understand the twists and turns. On the day of the competition, there was no warning at all. After more than ten judges and teachers arrived and the camera was in place, my students suddenly became less active than usual. When answering questions, they shrank back, the volume was halved, and they raised their hands to answer the question of Ai Ai. They dared not try. Seeing such a scene, I tried my best to activate the classroom atmosphere, with rich body language, exaggerated tone of voice, and excited facial expressions, but with little effect. It seems that only I am working hard. This is my own class.
I persisted until the end of the class. At the moment when the judges and teachers walked out of the classroom door, I suddenly lost my temper. I think I worked so hard to prepare for this class, but I failed here. Out of the classroom, Miss Yang is waiting for me here. She smiled and said, "Not bad, Xiao Mao. I just felt that the atmosphere in the classroom and the effect of the students' answers were not as good as when I tried in another class before." I smiled bitterly and made no noise. She seemed to know what I was thinking, and asked: "Are you nervous?" "How can you not be nervous?" Her tone slowed down, "Yes, you are nervous, your students are more nervous! You have seen the world, and they are the first time to see so many judges and teachers coming to class, and many children are the first time to see cameras in real life. Do you say they are afraid? Open class competition is your personal competition. They can ignore you and not answer you. But these children are willing to support you. They are very nervous, but they still raise their hands and open their mouths to respond to you. Although it's quiet, it's worth your gratitude, isn't it? " I stood still, as if suddenly I saw the trembling hands, the eyes with infinite expectation in the tension. Yeah! They are trying to respond to me! At that moment, like waking up from a dream, I thought of the word "love". I have always felt that the expression "love" is vulgar, but now I can't find a word more appropriate than it.
Back in the past, all kinds of pictures are interpreting such love to me. When I met Miss Yang for the first time, she shouted "Xiao Mao" and came bouncing towards me, more youthful than our young people. This is love, love; Later, she taught me how to prepare lessons, attend classes, and correct homework. This is love, love; She cooked for me and took me to explore local delicious food. This is love, love; This time, she taught me how to love others and my students. This is love, just the kind of pure love I have been curious about.
When I face my students with this kind of love, I have a surprising discovery. Before the evening self-study, I learned that although I won the first prize, the teacher commented that this class seemed to be my own performance. I was a little depressed when I studied at home last night and talked about it. The student asked me if I was very sad, and I replied: "I'm a little sad, but I don't blame you, because you are willing to cooperate with me, and have done a good job. I am very grateful to you." They looked up and said seriously: "Teacher Maomao, it's OK, don't blame yourself, you blame us!" I suddenly felt that they also have that kind of pure love! I just haven't found it. Their love is that before the open class competition, they worried about whether I had worn a watch and a loudspeaker; It was the cowardly consolation sound that came from behind when I was angry because of my sloppy homework; On the eve of my birthday, I quietly prepared gifts and rehearsed the show; When I caught a cold, I sent three capsules and a bag of crumpled Ganmaoling granules. They won't say "I love you" directly, but their pure eyes clearly show love flowing. How lucky I am that I can find this kind of love from Miss Yang and enjoy it. I passed this love on to my students, who then fed it back to me.
In fact, love is a process of mutual transmission. In this process, we learned to love others and ourselves, and found that we are composed of love and worthy of deep love, and can be ourselves unconditionally in the world. We don't have to hide, lie, or hold back. We are not infallible saints, but we love each other imperfectly. We chime in and exchange our hearts. We are not afraid of the parting after that. We take off all our precautions and accept the experience of pure love. I think that the feeling of love and being loved is the happiest thing and the greatest harvest of my year.
Keep together
In this way, time is carried forward by the stream of love. In a trance, spring has ended and summer has begun. Both students and I have regarded each other as a part of our lives. During the weekend holiday, more and more students always look up and look at me with expectant eyes when waiting in line to finish school. "Teacher Maomao, will you teach us next year?" I am disappointed and smile: "This is not necessarily the case!"
Lying in bed late at night, this question flashed through my mind again and again. The next year, I will not teach them, and other teachers will guide them with more experience, while I am just a passer-by on their way to life? Or perhaps, I can let them get some lifelong insights, even if not accompanied by them, can continue to affect them?
With this question, I thought about it for several days. My students have poor foundation, do not like reading, and poor reading ability. Unable to read, writing is also like a "daily account". They don't understand the outside world. Many students feel that going to work to earn money after finishing junior high school is the final destination. No, they can't stick to this land, they need to see the outside world! Only when we know the greatness of heaven and earth and the richness of everything can we be down-to-earth and work hard! I suddenly thought of Sanmao's words - "When you read more, your appearance will naturally change. Many times, you may think that many books you have read have become a thing of the past and are no longer remembered. In fact, they are still potential. In their temperament, in their talk, in their boundless mind, they may also be revealed in life and writing." Maybe children have no conditions to take the high-speed railway They go to other places by plane, but when they read a book, they are in the world of the book and have the situation of the hero in the book. The history of thousands of years ago, the future of science and technology imagination, the mystery exploration of the underwater world, and the anecdotes of thousands of people are all condensed into a text in front of them. This is the power of books, and what I want to do is to make them love reading!
I decided to open a reading class. However, due to the students' family economic conditions, it is impossible for everyone to have extra-curricular books in class. At the same time, the students' reading and appreciation ability is poor, and they need to be taught how to read books regularly. So I went back to second place and adopted a method - children told me the books they wanted to read. After reading these books, I chose some of them and shared them with everyone in the reading class in the form of storytelling.
What impressed me most was the lesson about Living. I draw the relationship between people on the blackboard, and I cross out a name every time a person dies. When Fengxia died of postpartum hemorrhage, several students quietly wiped their tears. The class was silent, and everyone was depressed by the life experience of Fugui. At the end of the class, I asked everyone to ask questions. Some students asked, "Where did Chunsheng go. After the answer, I asked everyone a question: "Why do people live?" "If Fugui lives for money, he should die when he goes bankrupt; if Fugui lives for family affection, he should die when the family dies; but he did not, because people live for living, not for anything other than living."
One student mentioned in her homework after class that she is still vague about the central theme of this work, but she knows that difficulties cannot defeat her. I smiled and said that the purpose of the book had been achieved. The children are in a period of rebellion, coupled with psychological vulnerability, and always talk about self mutilation and suicide. Although they are still young and can't understand the true meaning of living, I believe that after this lesson, they all understand subconsciously that living is hope and happiness. This is the value of this reading lesson.
After a period of time, they have already understood how I sort out the context of books and preliminarily understand the relevance and diversity of events. I began to try to lead them to read independently. I will take my own reading notes as an example to let children learn to write reading notes with their own characteristics. Then let every qualified student bring an extracurricular masterpiece to the school, and let me borrow books to make up for the unqualified ones. These books are placed on the small bookshelf at the back of the class, becoming a simple reading corner. All the books are shared, and children can choose the books they want to read at will. They just need to register the borrowing situation at the Chinese class representative. At the same time, I regularly carry out independent reading classes. In my spare afternoon, I play a few piano songs, read with my children, take reading notes, and share my feelings with each other. Such time always passes quickly. I think, decades later, when I read in the afternoon, I will also think of these cherubs full of love and curiosity.
Of course, I hope they not only learn to read, but also understand how to "jump out of reading" and pursue "internalization of reading", that is, how to output their own understanding and feelings. I held a "Reading Knowledge Contest" in my class, and let them answer the questions with snacks as a temptation. Everyone gained knowledge and had fun; I also organized a small theater to perform some story chapters in Journey to the West in groups. The raw materials for making props are so simple, but the effect is not compromised. In the school's ancient poetry and prose reading contest, I suddenly had the idea that I would have a different reading. I wrote and directed a series of ancient poems with dialect together with the students, which made the audience laugh and the students happily took back the "second prize". I also carefully trained two potential students and led them to participate in the reading contest and speech contest in the county. They were full of fighting spirit and passion and won the "third prize". I myself also received the "excellent counseling award" issued by the county education bureau. I know that these are far from enough, but I believe that after children close books, they can slowly try to connect books with themselves and the world, and initially embark on the road of internalization of books to explore and open the world of "self wisdom".
In this series of reading training, she always attracts my attention. She doesn't talk much at ordinary times, but she has countless ideas to share with me after reading class. Maybe this is a good boy who likes reading, I think. Later, I assigned her homework and asked her to open the PPT in the class computer at noon to copy words for everyone. In the afternoon, she anxiously found me: "Miss Maomao, I'm sorry, I can't turn on the computer, and I don't know how to turn on PPT." She comforted her. I sat down and kept silent for a long time. Some of her peers would secretly run to the Internet cafes, but she never touched the computer once. Why is she left behind in this information age? I must do something to make her catch up with the development of the times. I took her to learn computer in the office. She started teaching from the switch of the computer to the use of the mouse and keyboard, and finally let her freely browse the web pages she wanted to see, inquire about curious content, and gradually become familiar with the use of the computer. When I communicated this matter with the head teacher, I accidentally learned her life experience. Her father died early. Her mother returned to her parents' home with her younger brother, but she accidentally suffered from cerebral thrombosis and was too busy to care for herself. Her younger brother had to be supported by her grandmother and grandfather. She was left to live with her local grandparents. Grandma died a few years ago. Grandpa suffered from uremia and needed to go to the county hospital for dialysis regularly. They all lodged with their aunt. She has no pocket money and never patronizes the canteen, so it is impossible for her to contact the computer. I suddenly understood why she was so serious in her reading class? It is because she cherishes the opportunity to learn about extracurricular books without spending money. After that, I took some books and put them on my desk, so that she could take them whenever she was interested in reading. At the same time, I taught her to write reading notes by hand, print interesting articles I usually saw to her, and share supplementary reading materials outside the textbooks. I think that her family background can be poor and miserable, but when she was studying, she could go on her own time travel and try to become a person with rich inner world and spiritual resources.
So, like her, people who have no conditions to read extracurricular books only have reading methods but no reading essence. What should they do after that? I was a little anxious. It was only more than a month before the end of volunteer education, but I thought of the need for material support at this time. I hurried to contact various organizations that might collect books. Fortunately, the Dayi Ministry of Works in Central China is carrying out the activity of "Old Books Realize New Dreams", and they are also willing to donate some extracurricular books. Two weeks later, I received 150 books, 20 of which were awarded to outstanding students, and the rest were donated to the school. These books once accompanied the students of Huazhong University and spent many leisure afternoons. Now they pass these warm books to my students to make them glow in their hands and start a new journey.
Time passes like a fleeting horse. Suddenly, Sheng Xia's footsteps have arrived. Meet in summer, say goodbye in summer.
I think now I can answer that question.
"Teacher Maomao, will you teach us next year?"
"No, but I left the most precious thing to you, and it will continue to accompany you and protect you. And your most pure love will accompany me through the long road, warming my every winter." (A member of the research group of Huazhong University of Science and Technology Maoran)