01. 7 suggestions for getting better and better
1. Improvement of thought and insight
What is the promotion of thought and insight? For example, you didn't understand this matter so well, but finally you understood it; Originally, thinking about a thing was narrow, but later it became broad; Originally, I saw a thing in a relatively low dimension, but later, through my own study and efforts, I mentioned a higher dimension.
You can feel whether a person has made progress in thought and vision. Of course, if you don't feel obvious, just listen to the comments of people around you.
If people around you say that you are an extreme person, an emotional person, a person who only sticks to his own views, or a self-centered person, a person who cares about everything, it shows that you are extreme and narrow in thought and vision.
The sign of narrow thinking and insight is: first, only adhere to their own views, think that their own views are right, and others' views are wrong. The second is to stick to a single thought or idea, not from multiple dimensions and angles, and be able to consider problems from the perspective of others.
What does the progress in thought and insight depend on to improve?
The first is reading. Read some thoughtful books, and read books that change your thinking logic and habits. Second, we should find people with insights and broad knowledge to communicate and chat, or listen to their speeches and lectures.
What is the sign of improvement and progress in one's thinking and insight? You have the ability to think and act independently. Your ideas do not come from conformity, nor from group pressure. Others think so, and you also think so, but from your own independent thinking and independent thinking.
In addition, the increase of independent judgment ability, especially the increase of rational judgment ability, and the decrease of emotional impulse are also very important judgments. Your improvement in thinking and insight is the most important thing in life.
2. Improvement of self-discipline and self-control
The first point of the so-called self-discipline and self-control is not to be emotional or lose your temper.
To avoid being emotional, we should first check how we become emotional, how we lose control of our emotions, how we become angry, and whether we are worth being angry?
If you have two steamed buns and others eat one of you, do you deserve to be angry? Do you feel angry when someone borrows 100 yuan from you, whether it is because of a rascal or because he really has no money to pay back? This is a sign of whether your cultivation or cultivation is in place.
On the wall behind me, there is a sign that says, "If you are satisfied with something, you will always be happy. If you are not satisfied, you will become arrogant.". In fact, contentment and non demand refer to what we should be satisfied with and what we should not demand. For example, excessive desire, excessive greed for money or power, we should try our best to be satisfied with these things; We should be satisfied with the excessive pursuit of luxury life.
But what should be unsatisfied? The thirst for knowledge and for the realm of thought can not be satisfied.
What is no demand? We try our best not to ask for what we can't or what we don't have to ask for.
Back to self-discipline and self-control, a person needs self-discipline and self-control, which means that there are still many things in his heart that he cannot control. A person who has the ability to control will have fewer and fewer self-control or self-discipline behaviors. Why? Because he has followed his own inclinations, which is the realm of Confucius when he reached the age of 70.
But we should practice since we were young. It is very important not to be emotional when doing things, not to be angry when encountering things at any time, not to be furious when hearing or seeing anything.
The second point is that I have the ability to do well what I said I would do.
One of the characteristics of self-discipline and self-control is that you didn't complete the tasks you set, or you wanted to do it because of the influence of others, such as asking you to go to a movie, playing cards, drinking, not reading the books to read today, not writing the articles to write, and not completing the tasks to be completed. This is also out of control.
The third point is that even if you don't like something, you can finish it if you know it is a must. The so-called maturity of a person is not just doing what he likes. Only doing what you like is pure hearted and childish.
In addition to doing what you like, what is more important is doing what you have to do. In order to reach the destination in your heart, you can still go on the road with determination even though you know the wind and rain are coming. This is a sign of maturity.
The fourth point is that we can still calmly accept the hardships, hardships and even hardships that come suddenly or must be faced for a long time in life, and turn these hardships or hardships into our own driving force for struggle. Mencius said, "When the sky is going to place great responsibilities on people, we must first work hard".
Of course, everyone hopes that life will be more smooth and that there will be as little hardship as possible in life, not to mention the so-called suffering.
However, sometimes life is not our own choice, it is the result of all our causes and coincidences. This result may put you in a dilemma, and of course this dilemma may also bring you new opportunities.
Personally, I have always believed that any difficulty can bring new opportunities to people. It is precisely because of this mentality that after the "double reduction" in 2021, New Oriental made great efforts to explore in agriculture and live broadcast, and finally the Oriental Selection emerged.
If you are immersed in hardship or suffering, and there is no beginning, it is like a person suffocated in the water sooner or later.
It's OK for us to stay in the water, but we should try to learn how to swim in the water, try to learn to breathe fresh air out of the water, and try to swim to the shore where you can see, even if it's a little far away.
In the hard life, it is also a kind of self-discipline and self-control ability to persevere and continue to live and strive for a better future.
3. Have a positive and optimistic attitude
Man is an animal of the heart. When the heart is far away, the body can usually reach it. You can do what you want to do in your heart.
The so-called destiny and destiny, I have never believed that there will be an external supernatural force to decide how to live your life, more from the inner power, your inner power is particularly weak, your life must be bad; Your inner strength is stronger, and your life will certainly change.
No matter how hard and difficult the environment is, or how unpredictable the ups and downs are, you should face it with a positive and optimistic attitude.
4. Have a better mind
Small minded people can't do anything. The so-called better mind is that you should not be stingy when doing things. Not only is it not stingy to invite guests to eat, but you are generous and generous when doing things. You don't care too much about the small details of haggling, and don't care too much about other people's harm to you, and don't care too much about others' disparagement of you. You have the ability to laugh at yourself and satirize yourself.
So we should not be stingy and compare ourselves. We should never compare ourselves in terms of material and power. When he became the minister and I became the director, I felt very frustrated. He bought a LV bag, and I could only buy a military satchel. I felt that I was inferior to you, and there was no need to do such a comparison.
Put aside all kinds of unreliable comparisons in life, including the comparisons of your children's achievements. The most important thing is to live happily every day and make progress every day.
No grudges, no grudges, people always have unpleasant things with each other, and there are always people bullying you, but there is no need to build up grudges.
After Han Xin's humiliation, he did not kill the rascal. If Han Xin killed the rascal after his humiliation, there would be no future Han Xin.
In a word, people should be able to afford and put down everything they should do in their life, whether it is emotional, career, personnel relations, fame or wealth.
The second is "getting in, getting out". Anything that can get in, can focus on doing things, can focus on love, but once lovelorn, it must also be able to get out.
Therefore, being able to afford, put down and get in and out is a particularly important symbol of our life mind.
5. Plan
We said we should have expectations and expectations. The vague expectations and expectations are very good, but they should be specific. We said we should have a positive attitude, but they should be implemented.
We should have a big mind, but the real big mind is to do things. What to do in a year, what to do every month, what to do every week, and what to do every day should be planned.
I still have this habit until today. I have to make an inventory every day before going to bed. What did I do today and what should I not do? What can be done better, what can be further developed, what can be done according to the schedule the next day, and what cannot be done?
From one day's arrangement to one week's arrangement, to one month's arrangement, to one quarter's arrangement, to one year's arrangement, the one-year arrangement is consistent with your inner expectations and expectations, so that you can do more things. So planning is very important.
To share two points with you, do as follows:
The first is that any planning and plan should be practical. Do not do things that you cannot do, nor do things that you say and play with. It is meaningless;
The second is to make a practical plan, so that every plan you make can be turned into your inner achievement. Only when the plan is completed, can you have a sense of achievement.
6. Execution is more important than everything
Only when the word "implementation" is achieved, can all your expectations and expectations be in place. In English, it means just do it. You can do it. Of course, just do it is on the premise of thinking clearly.
We find that some people are busy every day, either doing meaningless things, or being led by others to do things, or doing things regardless of the primary and secondary, regardless of the importance, busy, but mediocre, meaningless.
The so-called Just do it, the premise of implementation is to think clearly, do not do the things that should not be done, do the things that should be done, do the important things first, and try not to do the unimportant things.
People who are able to communicate should communicate as much as possible, those who do not want to communicate should not communicate as much as possible, and those who need to participate in the entertainment should participate as much as possible, and those who do not need to participate in the entertainment should not participate. This is called execution.
7. Learn to correct mistakes
We know that the most important thing for a system, an enterprise's management and personal development is to have a correction mechanism. Of course, it is better to guarantee the error correction mechanism from the system, but for individuals, there is no way to guarantee with the system, we can only guarantee ourselves.
What is the concept of ensuring your own correction? We should have the ability of introspection, the so-called "I examine myself three times a day".
Of course, you can also ask others to correct your mistakes. If you have some sincere friends around you, they can sincerely point out some of your shortcomings and mistakes, which can also play a very good role in correcting your mistakes.
02. Four principles of being a man and doing things
In this world, it is always to be a man before doing anything. If people can't do well, they can't do well.
I follow these principles in my life: concentrate and be perfect; Learn from examples and improve the realm; Establish standards to avoid low level; Be kind to life and cherish time.
1. Concentrate on perfection
I have repeatedly stressed to my students that learning English is never a question of how to learn, but of what kind of mentality to learn. Once you have made up your mind to do something, you must concentrate on it and try to be as perfect as possible.
I have an advantage since I was young. When something comes to me, I usually conscientiously finish it, and seldom do another thing if I don't finish it. I have kept this way of doing things to this day and benefited a lot from it.
I have done many things in New Oriental in this way. If you can do something to the extent that you are obsessed with your dreams, there is almost nothing you can't do well. We should take everything seriously.
2. Learn from examples and improve the realm
As the saying goes, the power of an example is infinite. So we should learn from examples and improve our realm. We can learn from real life and history by learning from examples. In real life, everyone is likely to be our model.
Confucius said, "When three people walk, there must be my teacher." Everyone has something you can learn from. Even from those who fail, we can learn a lesson. Many people like New Oriental have different personalities, but they are good examples for me to learn from. As long as you have contacted the senior leaders of New Oriental, you will find that their personalities are very different. Their advantages are so obvious, and their disadvantages are also so obvious. But I can see from them what I can learn from them.
From a historical perspective, we have too many examples, and there are too many great people who can be our examples. For example, Socrates, Confucius and other sages and celebrities.
We can draw strength and wisdom from these examples. Martin Luther King can be our role model. His famous speech "I Have a Dream" enables us to experience the beauty of English as well as a person's mind like a sea and courage like a mountain. His cry for the equal social status of blacks has become the common voice of the oppressed people all over the world.
Outstanding figures like Lei Feng and Kong Fansen are also our role models. Their selflessness, fraternity and helpfulness have set us a high moral standard for being human and doing things.
3. Establish standards and avoid low
We must establish a standard for doing things, and we must avoid low standards. Establishing standards includes establishing a person's moral standards and behavior standards.
If you have established a behavior standard, such as not throwing paper everywhere and not spitting everywhere, you must comply with this behavior standard. You can't throw paper everywhere and spit everywhere just because others throw paper everywhere in the classroom.
Once the standard is established, don't destroy it. Even if everyone around you is destroying it, you can't change it, or you will have problems. There will always be people around you whose moral standards and behavior standards are lower than yours. If you learn from them, you will learn worse and worse.
In life and work, I have a slogan: life is like water, work is like mountain.
The so-called "life is like water" is to be as humble as possible, to learn from others, and not to be ashamed to ask questions.
In the long run, on the premise of grasping human dignity, it doesn't matter if you are inferior to others for the sake of your career and future. It doesn't damage your image. Many things are asked by others. Han Xin can stand the humiliation of his crotch because he has confidence in his future. If he can't bear it, he will make big plans.
"Work like a mountain" means to do anything. As long as you have set a goal, you must climb up like climbing a mountain. You must have a firm will and unshakable determination like a mountain.
One cannot have arrogance, but one must have lofty character. Proud and arrogant on the surface, can be seen at a glance, is superficial performance; And pride is spiritual and an internal temperament. Many people with pride are easy-going and calm, but they have a clear sense of mission and responsibility, and have an unshakable will to complete their own mission.
4. Be kind to life and cherish time
The so-called "treat life well and cherish time" means to realize the preciousness of life and the beauty of time.
We can never know whether there is a second life after death, nor can we know whether the soul is immortal.
The only thing we know is that there is only one life, and the body and soul are closely linked. Our life not only belongs to ourselves, but also to our parents, our families and our friends. Just imagine how many parents are distraught and insane because of their children's misfortune, and you will understand that you live in the world not only for yourself.
My life has encountered several difficulties and obstacles, several life and death cycles. After I struggled back from the death line, I feel the kindness and loveliness of life.
Since then, life has a completely different meaning for me. I began to be kind to life, trying to do what I really want to do, to do things that bring happiness and happiness to myself.
I began to know more about how to enjoy life, how to cherish family life, how to cherish friendship, and how to cherish nature.
But that doesn't mean that I don't work hard. I still devote myself to my work and work for more than ten hours every day. But after work, I began to walk into nature, into the depths of my heart, and experience the joy of nature and spiritual insights.
In fact, many things in life can bring us enlightenment and wisdom. For example, I learned the relationship between "stop and speed" in the process of learning skiing. You can only improve the speed of skiing if you learn how to stop first. Otherwise, you will kill yourself because you can't stop.
For another example, in the process of learning to ride a horse, I realized the mystery of management. If you ride a horse, it will immediately feel whether you can ride. If it thinks you can ride, it will listen to you honestly; If he feels that you can't ride, he will not listen to you.
In management, a good manager can not only have prestige among employees, but also get along with employees. Employees are also evaluating the ability of managers. Once employees think managers are unqualified, they have no reason to obey you. From the above two examples, we can see that life and work are interlinked.
03. Five sentences that have deeply influenced me
In addition to the above principles, I also want to share five words that have a profound impact on me. These words have a very important guiding significance in my life and work.
The first sentence is: Excellence is a habit.
This sentence was said by the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle. Turn excellence into a habit, make excellent behavior become our second nature. Let's habitually think creatively, do things carefully, be friendly to others and appreciate nature.
The second sentence is: life is a process.
Although the result of the cause is important, the process of doing things is even more important, because we live in the process of every day, and every day is unhappy, which means that the whole life is unhappy.
Zeng Guofan's motto throughout his life is: "Don't ask for harvest, but ask for hard work."
He doesn't mean we don't want to harvest. The meaning of this sentence is very simple. When the seeds are sown in the field, they will naturally grow and eventually harvest. But in the process of maintaining the growth of crops, it is more important to water and fertilize them. Because only in this way can the seeds grow healthily and harvest more.
The third sentence is that the shortest distance between two points is not necessarily a straight line.
Especially in the process of getting along with people and doing things, it is difficult for us to handle the relationship and do things well in one step. Sometimes we need to wait, sometimes we need cooperation, sometimes we need skills.
Maybe theoretically, the plane can fly directly between two points, but in fact, if there is a big airflow in front, the plane can only fly around, and must turn a corner to fly around that airflow.
We will encounter many difficulties and obstacles when we do things. Sometimes we don't have to be tough. We can choose to bypass the difficulties. Maybe things will be more smooth in this way.
In the interpersonal relationship, we have to think about which sentence is better when we talk to others. Especially in our complex human society, it is necessary to learn how to understand others, and make people think you are mature and good, so that you can accomplish things.
The fourth sentence is: only those who know how to stop know how to speed up.
The higher the quality of the car, the faster it will drive. For example, for some very good cars, their high quality is not only reflected in the engine, but also in the brake system. When you drive these cars, you dare to drive at a high speed, because you know that as long as you step on the brake, the car can stop steadily, without overturning or running out of the road.
But when we drive a car that is not very good, we must not drive as fast as a good car, because we know that if we let it run too fast, it will be difficult to brake, and it may hit the railing or roll over. Therefore, those who don't know how to stop are those who can't run fast.
The last sentence is: Sometimes, giving up is a kind of wisdom, while a disadvantage is a kind of grace.
Once I read this sentence in a book, I didn't understand it at first, and then gradually understood its meaning.
Our stupidest behavior is that we are too attached to our own things and unwilling to give up. What's the result? If you hold on, others will not share their things with you. It is perfectly clear that if you do not give up, you will not get.
What is a disadvantage a favor? If we are perfect, we have no room for development. He has everything since he was born. What can he do to survive?
The greatest pleasure in life is to strive to get what we want. So shortcomings mean that we can further improve, and deficiencies mean that we can further efforts.
I saw a TV play about a rich man who left an inexhaustible legacy to his descendants, and as a result, all his descendants became drug addicts, suicides, prisoners, or mentally ill. Why is this? Because the rich man left too much money for his descendants, so that they could inherit a large amount of property without labor.
The role of money is to buy what you need in the material world, but can not buy spiritual enrichment, sincere friendship and sincere love.
Because they can't buy them, the richer many people are, the more empty their hearts become. The more empty their hearts become, they will try their best to fill the void with money. In the end, they have no choice but to take drugs to make themselves enter the illusory world.
When a person lacks nothing, his development space is deprived. If we wake up every morning and feel that we have shortcomings today, that we need to be more perfect, and that we still have pursuit, what a happy thing!
Author: Yu Minhong
Source: This article is compiled from Yu Minhong's previous speeches and Yu Minhong's latest book, Not Losing My Heart
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