I just want to live to be over 50- Bean curd

I just want to live to be over 50.

Waste firewood girl in the fishpond Released | March 11, 2019| Fragmentary thoughts |11726 Browse

<trans data-src="[If I die young-The Band Perry][1]">[If I die young-The Band Perry][1]</trans> <trans data-src="----------">----------</trans> <trans data-src="**“我就想活到50多岁，就够了。”**">**"I just want to live to be over 50, that's enough."**</trans> <trans data-src="这是我刚认识W那会儿她说过的话。">This is what she said when I first met W.</trans> <trans data-src="----------">----------</trans> <trans data-src="那会儿我们年纪还小。">We were young then.</trans> <trans data-src="刚刚脱下小学生校服的我们，偶尔会光溜溜地站在镜子前，对着自己要么oversize要么一马平川的胸围感到懊恼，羡慕隔壁班的班花怎么就发育得那么正正好好。">When we just took off our school uniforms for primary school students, we occasionally stood in front of the mirror, feeling annoyed at our own size or flat chest, and envied how the class flower in the next class had grown so well.</trans> <trans data-src="也会因为不小心嘴馋多吃了两包辣条或是熬夜多看了两集魔法少女樱，隔天一早看着镜子里脑门上的巨型红痘痘拼了命地拿刘海修饰遮挡。">They will also eat two more packages of spicy noodles or stay up late to watch two more episodes of the magic girl Sakura because of their careless greediness. The next morning, they will look at the huge red pimple on the forehead in the mirror and try their best to cover it with bangs.</trans> <trans data-src="要是某天不小心瞥到暗恋的小男生对着别的妹纸来了一记温柔的摸头杀或者成绩放榜时一着不慎跌出个十名开外，那可真是天塌下来要了命的绝望。">If one day I accidentally catch a glimpse of the little boy who has a crush on another girl's paper and makes a gentle touch to kill her, or accidentally falls out of the top ten in the performance ranking, it will be really hopeless.</trans> <trans data-src="!">!</trans> <trans data-src="[微信图片_20190311134236.jpg][2]">[WeChat Picture_20190311134236.jpg] [2]</trans> <trans data-src="----------">----------</trans> <trans data-src="W是个很优秀的女孩子，双商在线颜值扛打就连性格也是温暖纯良得过分。">W is a very excellent girl. Even her character is too warm and pure.</trans> <trans data-src="所以当听到她说那句话时，我甚至觉得有点不可思议。">So when I heard her say that, I even felt a little strange.</trans> <trans data-src="“*我就想活到50多岁，就够了。因为啊，人老了以后就会各种生病，我是个特别讨厌麻烦的人，当然，我也讨厌麻烦别人。我要是得了癌症就高高兴兴回家等死，谁也别给我花钱治病。*”">"* I just want to live to be more than 50 years old, which is enough. Because when people get old, they will get sick. I am a person who hates trouble, and of course, I also hate trouble. If I have cancer, I will happily go home to die, and no one will pay me money to cure it. *"</trans> <trans data-src="这么些年过去了，当时的童言无忌也许早就被她本人抛诸九霄云外去了，我也就当个梗逢年过节寒暄几句的时候拿来调侃她一下。">After so many years, she may have abandoned her childlike innocence at that time. I will tease her when I have a few greetings on New Year's Day.</trans> <trans data-src="W在国内某top985的高校直博，一年顶多和她见个两回，大多时候也就只能通过朋友圈状态了解一下彼此近况。">W is a direct doctoral student at a top 985 university in China. We can only meet her twice a year at most. Most of the time, we can only get to know each other's recent situation through the status of our circle of friends.</trans> <trans data-src="某半夜凌晨她突然在朋友圈po了篇人民日报官微推送的新闻—“浙大失联博士生遗体已被发现，身上还装着校园卡……”并配文“**小时候就想活到50多，长大以后才发现自己想多了，能不能活过30都两说**”。">In the early morning of one night, she suddenly posted a news on the official WeChat feed of People's Daily in her circle of friends - "The body of the lost doctoral student of Zhejiang University has been found, with a campus card on his body..." with an article "* * wanted to live to more than 50 when he was a child, but when he grew up, he found that he had too much to think about, and whether he could live beyond 30 years said * *".</trans> <trans data-src="看到给我吓坏了，慌忙一个电话拨过去。">I was frightened when I saw it, so I hurriedly dialed it.</trans> <trans data-src="嘟了两声之后电话接通了，声音还是一如既往的轻描淡写。">After beeping twice, the phone was connected, and the voice was still understated as usual.</trans> <trans data-src="“没什么啊，就是最近照镜子已经不再care自己的Acup了，开始关注自己的发际线啦哈哈哈哈哈，而且你说奇不奇怪，额头上的痘痘十多年了还是不见消停，这生命力要是能分我一半就好了。”">"It's nothing, but recently I stopped caring about my Acup when I looked in the mirror and began to pay attention to my hairline. Ha ha ha ha ha ha, and it's strange that the acne on my forehead hasn't stopped for more than ten years. If only I could share half of my vitality."</trans> <trans data-src="“真的，当我看到这条新闻的时候，我特别能理解他。虽然我并不知道他经历了什么，但一定是痛苦到难以承受才会选择以这种方式来告别。">"Really, when I saw this news, I could understand him very well. Although I didn't know what he had experienced, it must be unbearable pain before I chose to say goodbye in this way.</trans> <trans data-src="每个人的承受能力都有个极限，就像一把拉满了的弓，我不知道我的极限在哪里，不知道我什么时候会绷断，甚至我也想过，人生处处是坎坷，干脆死了多好。">Everyone's endurance has a limit, just like a full bow. I don't know where my limit is or when I will break it. Even I thought that life is full of frustrations. How nice it is to die.</trans> <trans data-src="但我知道我这20几年来读书吃的苦可不能白吃了，多费钱啊。">But I know that my hard work in the past 20 years can't be wasted. How much money I have spent.</trans> <trans data-src="再说了，我爸妈还指着我养老呢！**">Besides, my parents are pointing at me for retirement**</trans> <trans data-src="这年头存款是不一定有，压力可谁都有，没啥。**”">Deposits are not always available these days, but everyone has pressure, nothing. * * "</trans> <trans data-src="话虽这么说，但她故作轻松的声音里包裹着掩饰不了的疲累和无奈。">Although she said that, her pretended relaxed voice was covered with indescribable fatigue and helplessness.</trans> <trans data-src="!">!</trans> <trans data-src="[微信图片_20190311134408.jpg][3]">[WeChat Picture_20190311134408. jpg] [3]</trans> <trans data-src="----------">----------</trans> <trans data-src="毕淑敏说，">Bi Shumin said,</trans> <trans data-src="“**一次自杀也没有想过的人，肯定凤毛麟角。**”">"* * Those who never thought of committing suicide must be rare. * *"</trans> <trans data-src="死多容易啊，找片宽阔的水域、爬个30+层的高楼、找清自己动脉的位置，就是眼睛一闭一睁的事儿，多easy啊。">How easy it is to die. It's easy to find a wide water area, climb a 30+storey building, and find out the position of your arteries.</trans> <trans data-src="**可活着，好好活着，是真的难。**">**But it's really hard to live, to live well**</trans> <trans data-src="----------">----------</trans> <trans data-src="本硕博都是国内985双一流A类院校的W，从学历上看，相较于80%的泯然众生，她无疑是优秀的。">My master's degree and doctoral degree are from 985 top A-class universities in China. Compared with 80% of devoid people, she is undoubtedly excellent.</trans> <trans data-src="W一直是个很有正能量的人，永远一副宠辱不惊淡然疏离的模样，从来都是充当别人的情绪垃圾桶，很少听到她抱怨或吐槽过什么。">W has always been a person with positive energy. She always acts as an emotional dustbin for others, never complaining or complaining.</trans> <trans data-src="可是那天在电话里，她好像肚子里存了一整个太平洋的苦水迫不及待地想要倾泻而出。">However, on the phone that day, she seemed to have a whole ocean of bitterness in her stomach and could not wait to pour it out.</trans> <trans data-src="**我听到她说，**经常得加班到半夜才能把手头的活弄完，几乎每天都会因为门禁被阿姨数落半天，一回得晚了就得写晚归登记，楼下宿管科的阿姨们统统能叫出她的名字了都。">**I heard her say that * * often has to work overtime until midnight to finish the work at hand. Almost every day, she will be scolded by her aunt because of the entrance guard. Once she is late, she will have to write a registration for returning late. All the aunts in the housing management department downstairs can name her.</trans> <trans data-src="**我听到她说，**每个月的国家补助和导师助研差不多刚刚cover自己的吃穿用度，出门喝个沪上阿姨的血糯米都得计算一下当天的开销有没有超标。">**I heard her say that * *'s monthly state subsidies and tutors' research assistance have almost covered his own food and clothing consumption. When he goes out to drink the blood glutinous rice of Shanghai aunts, he has to calculate whether the expenses of the day exceed the standard.</trans> <trans data-src="**我听到她说，**要想毕业至少发够4篇SCI，说是4年学制，没个5年基本下不来。">**I heard her say that * * would like to graduate with at least four SCIs, saying that it is a four-year school system, and every five years is basically unable to get down.</trans> <trans data-src="**我听到她说，**导师脾气超差动不动就大声嚷嚷，还处女座完美主义最喜欢吹毛求疵。">**I heard her say that the * * tutor always yells when his temper is too extreme, and Virgo perfectionism likes to nitpick.</trans> <trans data-src="**我听到她说，**选择读博是她这辈子做过最愚蠢的决定。">**I heard her say that * *'s decision to read a blog was the stupidest decision she ever made in her life.</trans> <trans data-src="有好几次，一个实验做了大半个月了最后因为一点小问题全部废掉从头再来，说坏就坏就跟闹着儿玩似的。">Several times, an experiment has been done for more than half a month. Finally, it was abandoned because of a small problem and started again from scratch.</trans> <trans data-src="我听到她说，毕业都30了，到现在还单着，七大姑八大姨闲着没事就拿她作反例当谈资，爸妈都急得快要提刀来逼嫁了。">I heard her say that she has graduated 30 years ago and is still alone now. The seven aunts and eight aunts take her as a counter example when they are idle. Their parents are so worried that they are going to raise their swords to force them to marry.</trans> <trans data-src="小时候一直是家长们口中“别人家的孩子”的W，现在却常常因为大龄单身而成了亲戚邻居茶余饭后唠着“女孩子家读那么多书有什么用“的反面教材。">When I was a child, I was always called "the child of others" by parents, but now I often become a negative teaching material of relatives and neighbors who chatter about "what's the use of girls reading so many books" after dinner because they are older and single.</trans> <trans data-src="之前本科阶段各种奖学金拿到手软的W，为了在竞争激烈的学术大环境下多肝几篇论文，妆也不化了，街也不逛了，步也不跑了，整天除了泡实验室就是泡图书馆，沉浸在科研的苦海中无法自拔。">In order to write more papers in the competitive academic environment, I didn't put on makeup, walk around the street or run away. I spent all day in the laboratory or the library, immersed in the bitter sea of scientific research.</trans> <trans data-src="!">!</trans> <trans data-src="[微信图片_20190311134413.jpg][4]">[WeChat Picture_20190311134413. jpg] [4]</trans> <trans data-src="----------">----------</trans> <trans data-src="曾经大言不惭地说着毕业后要去上海浪荡几年的W，现在一心只想着毕业以后回到家乡附近某个二三线小城市进个银行国企研究所混吃等死安度晚年。">W, who once boasted that he would go to Shanghai to wander for several years after graduation, now only wants to go back to a small second or third tier city near his hometown after graduation to eat in a bank state-owned enterprise research institute and spend his old age in peace.</trans> <trans data-src="一直温暖柔和得不像话的W，也开始变得浑身充满戾气，偶尔也会怼天怼地炸毛发脾气。">W, who has always been so warm and soft, has also begun to become full of anger, and occasionally has a grudging temper.</trans> <trans data-src="这一切的变化，可能都源于选择读博而带来的压力吧，甚至“女博士”不知从什么时候起，莫名其妙就成了人们口中的“第三类人”。">All these changes may be due to the pressure brought by choosing to study for a PhD. Even "female doctors" have become the "third type of people" for no reason since when.</trans> <trans data-src="----------">----------</trans> <trans data-src="硕博圈里流行这样一句话：">There is a popular saying in the blogosphere:</trans> <trans data-src="**“白天愁论文，晚上愁成家。”**">**"Worry about papers during the day, worry about getting married at night."**</trans> <trans data-src="----------">----------</trans> <trans data-src="20好几了还不挣钱回家，快30了也还没结婚成家，论文经常投出去就像一块石头扔进大海了无音讯……整个大环境对于研究生这类特殊群体来说似乎太不友好了。">I haven't earned money to go home for several years, and I haven't married and married yet at nearly 30. Papers are often thrown out like a stone thrown into the sea without any news... The whole environment seems too unfriendly for special groups like graduate students.</trans> <trans data-src="读研读博什么的，真的太不容易了。">It's really not easy to study postgraduate and doctoral studies.</trans> <trans data-src="可，这世界上又有谁比谁过得轻省容易？">However, who in the world is more light and easy than others?</trans> <trans data-src="!">!</trans> <trans data-src="[微信图片_20190311134418.jpg][5]">[WeChat Picture_20190311134418. jpg] [5]</trans> <trans data-src="----------">----------</trans> <trans data-src="**我曾在**去看歌舞剧的路上看到因为电动车没电而不得不用脚蹬着地一步步前进的外卖小哥。">**I once saw a delivery boy who had to pedal to the ground step by step because the electric car was out of power on the way to see a musical.</trans> <trans data-src="歌剧厅里每个人着装都很得体，大家都很自觉地把手机调成静音，很多人手里还拿着袖珍的望远镜。">Everyone in the opera hall was dressed appropriately, everyone consciously turned their mobile phones to silent, and many people still held pocket telescopes in their hands.</trans> <trans data-src="可整场歌舞剧的过程中，那个外卖小哥奋力蹬着地的身影在我脑海里一次次重现。">But in the whole process of the musical, the figure of the delivery boy struggling to land reappeared again and again in my mind.</trans> <trans data-src="不知道他会不会因为送晚了而被顾客投诉，不知道他的解释会不会被顾客和老板理解，也不知道他晚上能不能顺利回家。">I don't know whether he will be complained by customers because of late delivery, whether his explanation will be understood by customers and the boss, or whether he can go home smoothly at night.</trans> <trans data-src="**我曾在**一大早去练车的路上看到眼里卷着困意嘴唇因为早起而显得煞白，一边骑车一边嘴里念念有词背课文的中学生。">**I once saw a middle school student on the way to bike practice early in the morning with sleepy eyes and white lips because of getting up early.</trans> <trans data-src="看着后车镜里他渐行渐远的身影，我不禁有点好奇，不知道他昨晚写作业写到几点，不知道早上有没有吃过早饭，不知道今天的语文默写他能得多少分。">Looking at his receding figure in the rear car mirror, I can't help being curious. I don't know when he wrote his homework last night, whether he had breakfast in the morning, or how many points he can get for today's Chinese dictation.</trans> <trans data-src="**我曾在**赶项目申请书熬到半夜12点多的晚上路经老师办公室时看到里面依然灯火通明，透过门上的毛玻璃依稀可见老师伏笔案前的身影。">**When I passed the teacher's office in the evening when I stayed up for the project application until more than 12 o'clock in the middle of the night in * *, I saw that the lights were still bright inside, and the teacher's figure in front of the foreshadowing was vaguely visible through the ground glass on the door.</trans> <trans data-src="不知道他自己还得加班到几点，不知道隔天一早项目申请书提交截止之前他还能不能合会儿眼，不知道早上只能由师母送上学的老师家孩子会不会有点不开心。">I don't know when he will have to work overtime. I don't know whether he can close his eyes before the deadline for submitting the project application the next morning. I don't know whether the children of teachers who can only be sent to school by their teacher's mother in the morning will be a little unhappy.</trans> <trans data-src="!">!</trans> <trans data-src="[微信图片_20190311134422.jpg][6]">[WeChat Picture_20190311134422. jpg] [6]</trans> <trans data-src="----------">----------</trans> <trans data-src="所以你看，谁的生活是轻轻松松一派光鲜的？">So you see, whose life is easy and bright?</trans> <trans data-src="谁的生活还不是满地鸡毛各种琐碎的？">Whose life is not full of chicken feathers and trivial things?</trans> <trans data-src="**是，谁也不比谁过得更轻省容易。">**Yes, no one is easier than others.</trans> <trans data-src="但谁可以比谁更拼命努力。**">But who can work harder than who**</trans> <trans data-src="就像我的朋友W，衰不过两天，朋友圈里的她又恢复了一贯的风风火火，一天24小时恨不得劈成48小时来过，再巴不得向天再借五百年。">Just like my friend W, she has returned to her usual popularity in her circle of friends after two days of decline. She wants to spend 48 hours a day, or borrow another 500 years from the sky.</trans> <trans data-src="成长是个很奇妙的东西，第五季《奇葩说》肖骁在赢得满座喝彩之后在采访中说：“**我并不喜欢别人给我贴上的‘成长’标签。**”">Growth is a wonderful thing. Xiao Xiao said in an interview after winning the applause of the audience in Season 5 of "Strange Flowers": "* * I don't like the label of 'growth' that others put on me. * *"</trans> <trans data-src="*我们习惯于把“成长”定义为由不好变为好、由不成熟走向成熟的过程。*">*We are used to defining "growth" as the process from bad to good, from immature to mature*</trans> <trans data-src="可就拿W来说，我还是觉得她成长了。">But for W, I still think she has grown up.</trans> <trans data-src="以前的W总有一种少年老成的感觉，读研后的W反而变得有血气了些，变成有情绪会跳脚会发飙的同龄人了，这样的她反而更真实可爱了。">In the past, W always felt mature in her youth. After graduation, W became more energetic and became a peer who would jump and get angry. In this way, she became more real and lovely.</trans> <trans data-src="这样看来，好像她当初选择读博的决定也没有那么糟不是？">In this way, it seems that her decision to read a blog was not so bad, was it?</trans> <trans data-src="马爸爸曾说过不少金句，记得他说过：**“真的很累吗？累就对了，舒服是留给死人的！”**">Ma's father once said many golden sentences. I remember he said: * * "Are you really tired? If you are tired, you are right. Comfort is reserved for the dead!"**</trans> <trans data-src="所以啊，生活它从来不容易，但“**生活中有这样一种英雄主义，那就是在看清生活的真相之后，依然热爱生活。**”">So, life is never easy, but "there is such heroism in * * life, that is, after seeing the truth of life, you still love life. * *"</trans> <trans data-src="!">!</trans> <trans data-src="[微信图片_20190311134427.jpg][7]">[WeChat Picture_20190311134427. jpg] [7]</trans> <trans data-src="----------">----------</trans> <trans data-src="实在还是觉得难过的话，就试试大张伟老师的法子——坚持笑15秒心情就会变好。">If you still feel sad, try Mr. Zhang Wei's method - keep smiling for 15 seconds and your mood will improve.</trans> <trans data-src="美国波尔·莫利尔医院的健康导报上提到——笑可以延长寿命，开怀地笑15秒就可以延长2天的生命。">It was mentioned in the health guide of Bohr Morrill Hospital in the United States that laughter can prolong life, and a happy smile for 15 seconds can prolong life for 2 days.</trans> <trans data-src="*据说人在笑的时候会激活一种叫做NK的免疫细胞，这种细胞是对抗体内病毒、癌细胞的最强大的宪兵。">*It is said that when people laugh, they will activate an immune cell called NK, which is the most powerful gendarme against viruses and cancer cells in the body.</trans> <trans data-src="但当人感到压力大甚至抑郁时，人的NK细胞会失去活性直至死亡。">But when people feel stressed or even depressed, human NK cells will lose their activity until they die.</trans> <trans data-src="而当人开怀地大笑时，NK细胞的活性会比感到压力时高出一半，是笑容给它注入了生命和活力。*">When people laugh heartily, NK cell activity will be half higher than when they feel pressure. It is smile that gives it life and vitality*</trans> <trans data-src="所以书里说啊，**笑容是神的礼物**。">So the book says that * * smile is God's gift * *.</trans> <trans data-src="其实我想说，你又何尝不是造物者的恩赐呢？">In fact, I want to say that you are a gift from the creator?</trans> <trans data-src="**那么珍贵的你，当然值得被好好珍惜。**">**So precious you, of course, deserve to be treasured**</trans> <trans data-src="• end • ">• end • </trans> <trans data-src="公众号 天南大夜洞">Public account Tiannan Daye Cave</trans> <trans data-src="文 大大星的儿童餐">Children's meal of Wenda Daxing</trans> <trans data-src="（本废柴的另一个nickname）">(Another nickname of this waste firewood)</trans> <trans data-src="图 被嫌弃的松子的一生">Figure Life of the Abandoned Pine Nut</trans> <trans data-src="ps:这篇文章是我去年10月份写的，投在当时和小伙伴共同运营的一个校内公众号上。">Ps: This article was written by me last October. It was cast on an internal public account jointly operated by me and my friends at that time.</trans> <trans data-src="前不久学校里又发生了类似事件，想起当时写此文的契机，于是乎就复制过来了额~">A similar incident happened in the school not long ago. I remembered the opportunity to write this article, so I copied it~</trans> <trans data-src="“生活不易，但人间值得。”">"Life is not easy, but it is worth living."</trans> <trans data-src="共勉。">Mutual encouragement.</trans> <trans data-src="[1]: ">[1]: </trans> <trans data-src="https://i.y.qq.com/v8/playsong.html?songid=1186183&source=yqq#wechat_redirect">https://i.y.qq.com/v8/playsong.html?songid=1186183&source=yqq#wechat_redirect</trans> <trans data-src="[2]: ">[2]: </trans> <trans data-src="https://www.domocloud.cn/usr/uploads/2019/03/2790177335.jpg">https://www.domocloud.cn/usr/uploads/2019/03/2790177335.jpg</trans> <trans data-src="[3]: ">[3]: </trans> <trans data-src="https://www.domocloud.cn/usr/uploads/2019/03/4156122475.jpg">https://www.domocloud.cn/usr/uploads/2019/03/4156122475.jpg</trans> <trans data-src="[4]: ">[4]: </trans> <trans data-src="https://www.domocloud.cn/usr/uploads/2019/03/2353045214.jpg">https://www.domocloud.cn/usr/uploads/2019/03/2353045214.jpg</trans> <trans data-src="[5]: ">[5]: </trans> <trans data-src="https://www.domocloud.cn/usr/uploads/2019/03/102877648.jpg">https://www.domocloud.cn/usr/uploads/2019/03/102877648.jpg</trans> <trans data-src="[6]: ">[6]: </trans> <trans data-src="https://www.domocloud.cn/usr/uploads/2019/03/3652924397.jpg">https://www.domocloud.cn/usr/uploads/2019/03/3652924397.jpg</trans> <trans data-src="[7]: ">[7]: </trans> <trans data-src="https://www.domocloud.cn/usr/uploads/2019/03/3122384023.jpg">https://www.domocloud.cn/usr/uploads/2019/03/3122384023.jpg</trans>

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Muyue, 2022-11-24 reply

I updated the program before

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I just want to live to be over 50.

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