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Mom shares a beautiful positive parenting example when her 6-year-old was rude to her

 Mom shares a beautiful positive parenting example when her 6-year-old was rude to her

No matter how great a parent you are and how well you teach your children how to behave, kids are occasionally going to be less-than-pleasurable to be around. They are human, after all. And they are engaged in an intense, years-long process of learning about being human, growing and change rapidly through various phases and stages.

As parents, it can be hard to figure out how to help them through all of that. Especially when they're pushing our own emotional buttons.

Mom and educator Dr. Chawanna B. Chambers — or "Dr. Chae," as she goes by on her website —shared a parenting tale from her own life that offers us all a beautiful example of how to teach a child who is seemingly acting disrespectful how to manage their responses. For many parents, a child talking back or being rude is met with immediate anger or sternness—perhaps an instinctual response from their own upbringing or beliefs about respecting our elders.

But for Chambers, her 6-year-old speaking rudely was an opportunity to teach a lesson about our brains and how we can head off a problematic interaction before it starts.

"I noticed that my 6-yo was being a lil rude/curt w/me, so I asked her what was up, " Chambers wrote. "At first, she just looked at me, so I reiterated that I can't help her if I don't know what's wrong.


"Then I asked, 'Why are you being unkind to me? What happened?'

"She looked at me and said, 'I don't know,' and started crying. I told her, 'It's okay. Sometimes mommy just doesn't feel happy too. You're not in trouble. I just needed to know how to help.'"

Gold from the get-go. Even just asking the question, "Why are you being unkind to me?" invites a child to think through their thoughts and emotions in a way that doesn't put them in a space of fear or defensiveness. And having mom reiterate that she understands how it feels to not know why you're unhappy and share that she wants to help gives her daughter room to do this important work.

"She said, 'My brain tells me to be rude,'" Chambers went on. "I told her that's sort of how it happens for lots of people. When our emotions aren't happy, sometimes we take it out on others even when they don't deserve it.

"She asked, 'Wait. Your brain does it too?!' I told her yes, and then I asked her if I could teach her something that might help. She said yes, so I told her, 'When you aren't quite feeling right but don't want to be mean, you can say, "I'm not feeling my best self; I need a min."'"

Empathy. Compassion. Education. Concrete ideas for what to do instead of what they're doing. It's like a master class in positive, supportive parenting techniques.

Chambers continued:

"So, we practiced saying that over and over again until she felt better. She gave me a hug and stopped crying. I think about all the ways I *could've* responded, particularly a power trip bc 'I'm the adult,' but she needed to process something not even about me."

That right there is such a key thing that's easy to miss as a parent. So many times when our kids are expressing frustrations in our direction, they have nothing to do with us personally. We are merely a safe space for them to vent, and they may not even know why. That doesn't mean we should let them speak to us any old way they feel like it in the moment, but it does mean we can utilize that space to help them work through whatever they're feeling and figure out a different way of expressing themselves.

"Trying to be slower to projection or anger has really given me an opportunity to coach my children on emotional maturity," Chambers reflected. "Even at 6, she can learn how to challenge her own thoughts. She can learn how her brain works and the best ways to engage w/others."

Yes. Children are far better at this kind of emotional work than we give them credit for. It takes time and patience, but it pays off in the long run.

With a background in education, Chambers may have a leg up on many of us in terms of understanding child psychology and explaining it on a child's level, but that doesn't mean we can't all do our best to focus on empathy and education in our own parenting.

Not only does this kind of approach help kids learn how to manage their behavior, but it also strengthens bonds between parent and child. When your kiddo knows they can trust you to help them and not hurt them, when they get the message that their feelings are normal and they can learn to manage them, when they see that their mom or dad also have the same struggles they do sometimes and can help them through it, they know they've got support.

Our job is to teach them as the humans they are, not train them like animals at obedience school. And most importantly, we teach respect by exhibiting ourselves. When a child behaves in a way that's contrary to what we expect and what we've taught them, it usually means they're struggling with something. And nothing is more respectful than listening, acknowledging, empathizing, and helping when someone is clearly struggling.

Children learn what they live, as the saying goes. Thank you, Dr. Chae, for offering a beautiful example of what that looks like in action.

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3 organic recipes that feed a family of 4 for under $7 a serving

O Organics is the rare brand that provides high-quality food at affordable prices.

A woman cooking up a nice pot of pasta.

Over the past few years, rising supermarket prices have forced many families to make compromises on ingredient quality when shopping for meals. A recent study published by Supermarket News found that 41% of families with children were more likely to switch to lower-quality groceries to deal with inflation.

By comparison, 29% of people without children have switched to lower-quality groceries to cope with rising prices.

Despite the current rising costs of groceries, O Organics has enabled families to consistently enjoy high-quality, organic meals at affordable prices for nearly two decades. With a focus on great taste and health, O Organics offers an extensive range of options for budget-conscious consumers.

O Organics launched in 2005 with 150 USDA Certified Organic products but now offers over 1,500 items, from organic fresh fruits and vegetables to organic dairy and meats, organic cage-free certified eggs, organic snacks, organic baby food and more. This gives families the ability to make a broader range of recipes featuring organic ingredients than ever before.


“We believe every customer should have access to affordable, organic options that support healthy lifestyles and diverse shopping preferences,” shared Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal.”

With some help from our friends at O Organics, Upworthy looked at the vast array of products available at our local store and created some tasty, affordable and healthy meals.

Here are 3 meals for a family of 4 that cost $7 and under, per serving. (Note: prices may vary by location and are calculated before sales tax.)

O Organic’s Tacos and Refried Beans ($6.41 Per Serving)

Few dishes can make a family rush to the dinner table quite like tacos. Here’s a healthy and affordable way to spice up your family’s Taco Tuesdays.

Prep time: 2 minutes

Cook time: 20 minutes

Total time: 22 minutes

Ingredients :

1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)

1 packet O Organics Taco Seasoning ($2.29)

O Organics Mexican-Style Cheese Blend Cheese ($4.79)

O Organics Chunky Salsa ($3.99)

O Organics Taco Shells ($4.29)

1 can of O Organics Refried Beans ($2.29)

Instructions :

1. Cook the ground beef in a skillet over medium heat until thoroughly browned; remove any excess grease.

2. Add 1 packet of taco seasoning to beef along with water [and cook as directed].

3. Add taco meat to the shell, top with cheese and salsa as desired.

4. Heat refried beans in a saucepan until cooked through, serve alongside tacos, top with cheese.

 tacos, o organics, family recipes O Organics Mexican-style blend cheese. via O Organics

O Organics Hamburger Stew ($4.53 Per Serving)

Busy parents will love this recipe that allows them to prep in the morning and then serve a delicious, slow-cooked stew after work.

Prep time: 15 minutes

Cook time: 7 hours

Total time: 7 hours 15 minutes

Servings: 4

Ingredients:

1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)

1 ½ lbs O Organics Gold Potatoes ($4.49)

three O Organics Carrots ($2.89)

1 tsp onion powder

I can O Organics Tomato Paste ($1.25)

2 cups water

1 yellow onion diced ($1.00)

1 clove garlic ($.50)

1 tsp salt

1/4 tsp pepper

2 tsp Italian seasoning or oregano

Instructions:

1. Cook the ground beef in a skillet over medium heat until thoroughly browned; remove any excess grease.

2. Transfer the cooked beef to a slow cooker with the potatoes, onions, carrots and garlic.

3. Mix the tomato paste, water, salt, pepper, onion powder and Italian seasoning in a separate bowl.

4. Drizzle the mixed sauce over the ingredients in the slow cooker and mix thoroughly.

5. Cover the slow cooker with its lid and set it on low for 7 to 8 hours, or until the potatoes are soft. Dish out into bowls and enjoy!

 potatoes, o organics, hamburger stew O Organics baby gold potatoes. via O Organics


O Organics Ground Beef and Pasta Skillet ($4.32 Per Serving)

This one-pan dish is for all Italian lovers who are looking for a saucy, cheesy, and full-flavored comfort dish that takes less than 30 minutes to prepare.

Prep time: 2 minutes

Cook time: 25 minutes

Total time: 27 minutes

Servings: 4

Ingredients:

1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)

1 tbsp. olive oil

2 tsp dried basil

1 tsp garlic powder

1 can O Organics Diced Tomatoes ($2.00)

1 can O Organics Tomato Sauce ($2.29)

1 tbsp O Organics Tomato Paste ($1.25)

2 1/4 cups water

2 cups O Organics Rotini Pasta ($3.29)

1 cup O Organics Mozzarella cheese ($4.79)

Instructions :

1. Brown ground beef in a skillet, breaking it up as it cooks.

2. Sprinkle with salt, pepper and garlic powder

3. Add tomato paste, sauce and diced tomatoes to the skillet. Stir in water and bring to a light boil.

4. Add pasta to the skillet, ensuring it is well coated. Cover and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

5. Remove the lid, sprinkle with cheese and allow it to cool.

 o organics, tomato basil pasta sauce, olive oil O Organics tomato basil pasta sauce and extra virgin olive oil. via O Organics

An English doctor named Edward Jenner took incredible risks to try to rid his world of smallpox. Because of his efforts and the efforts of scientists like him, the only thing between deadly diseases like the ones below and extinction are people who refuse to vaccinate their kids. Don't be that parent.

Unfortunately, because of the misinformation from the anti-vaccination movement, some of these diseases have trended up in a really bad way over the past several years.



Wellness involves a lot of personal choices and the tradeoff between personal liberty and shared public good.

Measles is the starkest example. There were about 61 cases of measles in all of 2012, but in just the first seven months of 2014, there have been nearly 600 .

As this chart shows, vaccinations are not like taxes rates or even freedom of speech. The impact of one's personal health choices can have a significant impact on the population around them, in their communities and even on a national level. It makes that trade-off all the more complicated and one not easily distilled into one convenient political or religious ideology.

Obviously, the topic of vaccinations has become immensely more complicated since the onset of COVID-19 in 2020. But history teaches us valuable lessons and information is power. No matter how you feel about vaccines today, this chart is a reminder that medical science can be used for incredible good. Without breakthrough vaccinations in the past, many of us would likely not be here to have the debate about our personal choices now and into the future.


This article originally appeared on 11.21.14 and t his infographic is based on data from 2012.

Images provided by P&G

Three winners will be selected to receive $1000 donated to the charity of their choice.

True

Doing good is its own reward, but sometimes recognizing these acts of kindness helps bring even more good into the world. That’s why we’re excited to partner with P&G again on the #ActsOfGood Awards.

The #ActsOfGood Awards recognize individuals who actively support their communities. It could be a rockstar volunteer, an amazing community leader, or someone who shows up for others in special ways.

Do you know someone in your community doing #ActsOfGood? Nominate them between April 24 th -June 3 rd here . Three winners will receive $1,000 dedicated to the charity of their choice, plus their story will be highlighted on Upworthy’s social channels. And yes, it’s totally fine to nominate yourself!

We want to see the good work you’re doing and most of all, we want to help you make a difference.

While every good deed is meaningful, winners will be selected based on how well they reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to do #ActsOfGood to help communities grow.

That means be on the lookout for individuals who:

Strengthen their community

Make a tangible and unique impact

Go above and beyond day-to-day work

The #ActsOfGood Awards are just one part of P&G’s larger mission to help communities around the world to grow. For generations, P&G has been a force for growth—making everyday products that people love and trust—while also being a force for good by giving back to the communities where we live, work, and serve consumers. This includes serving over 90, 000 people affected by emergencies and disasters through the Tide Loads of Hope mobile laundry program and helping some of the millions of girls who miss school due to a lack of access to period products through the Always #EndPeriodPoverty initiative.

Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the nomination form for a chance for you or someone you know to win. It takes less than ten minutes to help someone make an even bigger impact.

Pop Culture

5 hacks for deep cleaning your house with the least amount of effort

A few simple adjustments can make cleaning less of a chore.

Cleaning doesn't have to be a dreaded chore.

There are some people who actually enjoy cleaning, but it’s fairly safe to say that most people don’t. Most of us like things to be clean, but we don’t necessarily like the actual cleaning part it takes to get there.

Not everyone can afford to hire professional cleaners, so we’re stuck doing the cleaning chores ourselves—the normal everyday housekeeping as well as the seasonal/occasional deep clean. Some of us were trained by our families to do it, while other people have to learn on their own.

For the latter folks, crowdsourcing some tips for making the cleaning process go more smoothly with less effort is a great way to make it less daunting. Someone on Reddit asked people to share their best hacks when deep cleaning the house, and more than 1,000 responses yielded some best practices worth trying out.

Here are people’s most popular cleaning hacks:


Declutter, declutter, declutter

The more stuff you have to clean, the more cleaning you have to do. That may sound obvious, but it’s not something we necessarily think about when we’re looking at our belongings we’ve either become attached to or have mindlessly collected over the years.

So the first step in deep cleaning is to get rid of things we don’t actually use or want anymore. You don’t have to become a total minimalist, but less is more when it comes to keeping a space clean.

“Declutter, declutter, declutter. Having fewer things to collect dust makes general cleaning so much easier, let alone the awful stuff like vents or behind heavy appliances.” – WassupSassySquatch

“Definitely. I realised when I treated us to a one off cleaner after 4 years of having kids that I spent the whole day prior decluttering and tidying so they could clean most efficiently. Well, if it was always that tidy or empty we could deep clean every week without overwhelm. So, it's the stuff. Moving the stuff before you can even clean.” – aga8833

Carry Hefty bags as you go

As an addendum to the "declutter" advice, have bags on hand for donating and for throwing away. Be ruthless about your belongings. Most people have too much stuff and hold onto things they'll never use because they think they might someday or because they don't feel like it's worth throwing away. If you don't have bags to put them in, you definitely won't move past those lines of thinking, so keep them with you as you clean and use them liberally.

"Lots of hefty bags and don’t be precious- throw it all away/ donate it." – trou_bucket_list

"Don't hold on to junk that you never use, because you don't want to create waste by throwing it out. It's already waste, it just lives in your house instead of a landfill. Donate it if you can, sure, but sometimes it's easier to just throw it away and give yourself grace for it." – happypolychaetes

One room at a time, from the top down

Cleaning one room at a time breaks the whole house into smaller parts, which makes it seem less overwhelming. And starting from the top down means you clean any dust or debris that falls as you go, ending with the floor so nothing gets left behind.

“Top down. One room at a time. Pace yourself.” – Straight_Calendar_15

“If you clean the counters first, you don’t have to worry about messing up the floor since you’re saving it for the end. If you clean the floor first, you could end up dirtying it again as you clean the counters.” – o_in25

Wear a headlamp

Headlamps aren’t just for camping or spelunking—they can be super handy for cleaning as well. Even in a lit room, there are nooks and crannies in bookshelves and corners where you can’t see dirt, dust or cobwebs unless you shine a light on them.

Why bother if you can’t see it normally anyway? Because dust can create a mild, stale odor that keeps your house from smelling fresh. This hack may not save you time or energy, but it will make the end result far more satisfying.

“Clean wearing a head torch - if it looks good under such good light, it'll look sh*t hot under normal lighting. It's great for finding cobwebs on walls / ceilings too as they throw an obvious shadow.” – Dougalface

“I’ve done this while cleaning inside my car. I kept cleaning and cleaning and it still looked dusty and awful so I gave up. When I came back the next day under normal lighting it looked brand new again.” – Potatobender44

Pump up the jams…or ‘Hoarders’

Yes, cleaning is a chore but that doesn't mean it can't be fun and energizing. Turning on some of your favorite music, whether that's upbeat dance tunes, powerful symphonies or fun fiddle music, can make cleaning a whole lot more enjoyable. Turn it up loud to drown out any grumbling thoughts and get moving.

Alternatively, put on episodes of the television show “Hoarders,” which can be a great motivator, especially during the decluttering part.

“Listen to music while you do it (earbuds or headphones while vacuuming).” – SRB112

“This is a little strange but I like to put on runway show music in the background when I clean, usually its super long and kinda questionable energetic music so you can do 25 minutes of cleaning and feel like a supermodel all in one. (balenciaga has some good soundtracks imo love or hate the brand)” – NickyThePerson

“I play a hoarders marathon in the background while cleaning…” – Last_Sundae_6894

“Put Hoarders on the TV while you clean. I stg within 10 minutes I'm ready to throw everything away.” – Halbbitter

Happy cleaning, everyone!

A mother confronts her daughter for judging her friend's weight.

A 42-year-old mother wondered whether she did the right thing by disciplining her 18-year-old daughter, Abby, who disinvited a friend from vacation because of her weight . The mother asked people on Reddit for their opinion.

For some background, Abby had struggled with her weight for many years, so she went to her mother for help. The two set up a program where Abby was given a reward for every milestone she achieved.

“Four months ago, she asked that I don't get her any more rewards and add it up to her birthday gift, and for her gift she wants a vacation I will pay for, for her and her friends instead of the huge party I had promised for her 18th. I said OK,” the mother wrote.


So, instead of a series of small gifts, Abbey wanted one large one, a vacation with two of her friends. The vacation would also celebrate Abby’s 18th birthday. The mother agreed and booked the trip for the 3 girls.

“Fast forward to last weekend, we started preparing for her vacation,” the mother wrote. “I called the other two girls' parents to confirm the girls would be and learned Abby's best friend Betty isn't going. Betty loves traveling and was looking forward to the vacation, so I asked why. Apparently, Abby uninvited her because ‘she is too chubby to look good in pictures.’”

When the mother approached Abby about the situation, she doubled down on her comments to Betty. “I calmly talked to Abby and reminded her how Betty would feel being left out for such a reason, and she went off with, 'I didn't work so hard for this vacation so my pictures will be ruined,'" the mother wrote.

Abby then asked Betty to contact her mom and say that she decided not to go on the trip because she wasn’t feeling well. Betty refused to lie, and Abby sent her a “ton of hateful texts and body-shaming insults.” Betty shared screenshots of the texts to the mother, and she promptly canceled the entire vacation.

Now, Abby’s father, who shares 50-50 custody with the mother, is livid, and Abby won’t speak to the mother. The mom asked the Reddit AITA forum to see if she was in the wrong, and the commenters overwhelmingly said she did the right thing. "Some of my friends agree on my approach, while others think I should have put my daughter first,” the mother said.

The most popular commenter was short and to the point.

"Teaching your daughter to not be a horrible human being IS putting her first," Due_Laugh_3851 wrote. "I commend your strength and parenting skills. This was the right thing to do and would've been hard to do. Well done, you deserve to go on the holiday yourself, " Loud_Wallaby737 added.

"... uninviting someone because you only want skinny people in your pictures is a disgusting attitude frankly. Sorry, I just don't find a nicer word for it. I am totally with you that this needs to have consequences, and while I'm very much against breaking promises, I do believe this is an exception. Like you said, your daughter knows what it feels like. She (but anyone really) should be supportive of friends wanting to lose weight if that is the case and if it isn't they she should just mind her own business body, " SensitiveSires wrote.

One of the few people who thought she was in the wrong believed that the mother set her daughter up for failure.

"[You're wrong] for giving your daughter who is a child rewards for weight loss. Her behavior of value based on weight shows she likely has developed disordered eating patterns and attitudes and this will cause her a lifetime of pain," tamtheprogram wrote.

The silver lining to the story is that many people who commented said that even though her daughter did something very hurtful, she’s still a teenager and there’s a chance she’ll realize the error of her ways.

"The daughter is just a teenager, she still has a lot of time to learn and grow up. Writing off her entire future as a mean girl when it’s very rare to be the same exact person you were at 18 as you grow up is a lot, " Stephapeaz wrote.


This article originally appeared on 9.18.23

A man is shocked after seeing his iPhone charges.

Americans everywhere are dealing with subscription fatigue . A report by the financial experts at the Motley Fool found that 57% of respondents to their survey believe they are overpaying for subscriptions and 40% say they have too many.

The worst part is checking your bank account and find you’re being charged for a subscription or service that you don’t even use.

A fast way to cut back on your subscription payments is to unsubscribe to services on your phone. Content strategist Marvelle Reed, aka the “Marketing Misfit,” recently shared a video on TikTok explaining how to see what you’ve subscribed to on your iPhone and cancel the services you don’t need.


"If you've got a bunch of charges coming from Apple that you don't know where they came from or you don't know why they still trying to charge you and you want to cancel all them checks, this is what you do, " Reed opens the video.

#greenscreenvideo #greenscreen

@marketingmarvy

#greenscreenvideo #greenscreen

1. Go to "Settings” on your device

2. Click on your profile

3. Go to "Media and Purchases"

4. Click on "View Account"

5. Scroll down to "Purchase History"

6. Review all of your charges and turn off subscriptions you no longer want

The video was a big help to those who discovered they were being charged for services they didn’t need. "You are sent from heaven!!! The way I was just talking about all the random charges on my credit card that I can’t keep up with. Thank you, my friend!! " Summertime wrote. "Thanks for this. There were two charges for an app that I canceled, " Aailyahalexis added.

Reed’s post is also a great reminder for everyone, even if they don’t have an iPhone, to check their bank account once a month for unnecessary services or subscriptions and those that may have raised their prices. In a world where an increasing number of services are on a subscription model, staying one step ahead of unnecessary charges is a big part of staying financially fit.

1. Go to "Settings” on your device

2. Click on your profile

3. Go to "Media and Purchases"

4. Click on "View Account"

5. Scroll down to "Purchase History"

6. Review all of your charges and turn off subscriptions you no longer want

The video was a big help to those who were being charged for services they don’t need. "You are sent from heaven!!! The way I was just talking about all the random charges on my credit card that I can’t keep up with. Thank you, my friend!! " Summertime wrote. Thanks for this. There were two charges for an app that I canceled," Aailyahalexis added.

Reed’s post is also a great reminder for everyone, even if they don’t have an iPhone, to check their bank account once a month for services they didn’t know they were paying for or subscriptions that may have raised their prices. In a world where an increasing number of services are on a subscription model, staying one step ahead of unnecessary charges is a big aprt of financial fitness.

Pets

Family brings home the wrong dog from daycare until their cats saved the day

A quick trip to the vet confirmed the cats' and family's suspicions.

Family accidentally brings wrong dog home but their cats knew

It's not a secret that nearly all golden retrievers are identical. Honestly, magic has to be involved for owners to know which one belongs to them when more than one golden retriever is around. Seriously, how do they all seem have the same face? It's like someone fell asleep on the copy machine when they were being created.

Outside of collars, harnesses and bandanas, immediately identifying the dog that belongs to you has to be a secret skill because at first glance, their personalities are also super similar . That's why it's not surprising when one family dropped off their sweet golden pooch at daycare and to be groomed, they didn't notice the daycare sent out the wrong dog.

See, not even their human parents can tell them apart because when the swapped dog got home, nothing seemed odd to the owners at first. She was freshly groomed so any small differences were quickly brushed off. But this accidental doppelgänger wasn't fooling her feline siblings.


Once the dog was in their house, they noticed that their cats started behaving strangely towards their canine sibling. The cats started attacking the dog, likely trying to get it to tell them what they did with their real dog sister. Cat slaps and a house full of strange people didn't dampen the imposter's spirit though, in fact, that's what helped reveal the switcharoo.

This dog kept handing out face kisses and had no interest in seeing her favorite neighbor. After putting all of those things together, the owners decided to hightail it to the vet's office to scan the dog's microchip. Alas, they indeed had the wrong dog.

"We just never even thought that that would happen, and of course we thought we would know right? Like we're her parents, we would know something was wrong, we would know right off the bat that it wasn't Emmy, " Kebby Kelley told Fox 9 Minneapolis-St. Paul.

Seems both golden retrievers got to go on a really strange adventure that deserves a lifetime of delicious dog treats for the confusion.

See both sweet pups below:

This article originally appeared on 9.21.23