Author He Jiang
The author is a doctor of Harvard University, a postdoctoral fellow of Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and the first Chinese to give a speech at the graduation ceremony of Harvard University. He came from the countryside and is an outstanding youth representative.
This book combines his own experience and expounds the education of non internal friction from five perspectives.
Internal friction has become the life state of most people. We constantly exert pressure on ourselves and our children, which leads to their unhappiness.
The author said in the book: With the best educational concepts and strategies, every family can reject internal friction and create the most economical and highly rewarding family education for children.
What is the best education?
In the book, there are five codes leading to the success of education
1. Cultivate children's curiosity about unknown things
Children are curious in heaven. In the first few years, children will ask adults all kinds of questions and explore the colorful world through their own facial features.
What we should do is to protect children's curiosity and not destroy their way of exploring the world. When our children ask us questions, we answer them patiently. If we don't know, we can tell them that there are answers with them.
2. Cultivate children's independent thinking ability
Independent thinking is becoming more and more important, especially in the era of information explosion, we need to cultivate children's ability to think and let them know how to judge the usefulness of information and whether it is accurate or not.
When children encounter difficulties, we teach them to disassemble problems, not to help them solve problems. Children's growth is a process of trial and error. We learn to let go and let children think of solutions to problems. As time passes, children's independent thinking will become successful.
3. Try to cultivate children's courage to step out of their comfort zone.
People are lazy and like to stay in the comfort zone. Many people say: Why can I still make progress after learning for so long? A lot of times I just didn't step out of my comfort zone. Just like a child brushing questions, if she is only working on some questions, she will not improve much if she brushes more questions.
How can we improve it?
In psychology, people's cognition of the external world is divided into three areas: comfort area, learning area and panic area.
The comfort zone means that there is no difficulty in learning or doing things, and you are familiar with them. If you go around and learn in this area, there will be no improvement, that is, low level of diligence.
The learning area is a place where there are some challenges in the content of learning or things to do, but it will not feel very uncomfortable. You can do it once you have enough.
The panic zone is far beyond our ability, which will make us feel uncomfortable and want to escape.
When children are learning, it is best to work hard in the learning area. How to judge the learning area? Take math problems as an example. Children will know it at a glance. This is the comfort zone. After reading it once, they don't understand it very well. They have some ideas. Think about what they can do. This is the learning zone. There is no idea after reading. This is a panic zone.
If you work hard in the learning area, your child will improve quickly and slowly. The learning area will become larger and larger, and your child will become more and more.
4. Cultivate children's persistent patience.
Learning is a gradual process, which requires little accumulation. In this rapidly changing society, many people can't settle down to learn, so patience is a scarce quality.
If a child has patience, she can do anything well. The famous "Ten Thousand Hour Law" reveals the truth of learning things. Learning anything requires a certain amount of effort to have a deep understanding of that field. Patience is particularly important.
5. Cultivate children's optimistic attitude
Mentality can determine whether a person can persist in the face of setbacks.
In one's life, no matter what his family circumstances are, he will encounter setbacks and difficulties. As experienced people, we should help children with the mentality of mentors and friends. We should not interfere excessively, or even directly help them solve problems. Instead, we should use these setbacks and difficulties as a training ground for children. Only after experiencing some setbacks can children know where the limit of their ability is.
The real education is to face the challenges in life optimistically, not to blame yourself or fight against others when encountering problems, and to have the courage to find solutions to problems.
In fact, education is not complicated, and we can also cultivate happy children by mastering the bottom code: curiosity, thirst for knowledge, independent thinking, stepping out of the comfort zone, maintaining patience and optimism.
