Dear girl

I have been separated from you for a long time. I don't know when you saw this letter.

I can still vaguely remember that you told me categorically at that time that there was no possibility between us, but I did not despair or give up at that time. I could understand your position. I did not contradict you or make a big noise. It was not that I did not love you and was indifferent to you, but that I loved you too much and did not want to let my words and deeds hurt you again. Maybe what you were waiting for was my retort, my resistance, and my desire to prove that I loved you by all means, but I really loved you too much. At that time, my heart was unwilling to suffer any more and I didn't dare to show a little in front of you. Yes, you have given me opportunities time and time again, but I have never treasured them. Time and time again, you have slowly suffered a lot of grievances, and you have no expectation of the two-way love with me from the beginning. Slowly, it has cooled down, and a lot of things are taken on by yourself. Yes, As you said, "When you should appear, you don't appear. What's the use of those after the fact? I can rely on myself. What's the meaning of you appearing again?"

But I never thought that apart from you, I have the second girl in my life that I really like and can really love, just like a glass of water can only be filled with one glass of water, and I can only stay with you. Before I met you, there were a lot of girls in my circle, and some relationships might be better, but after being with you, Whether online or real, as long as all the heterosexuals who have blood ties and interests are clean, this is something I will never regret in my life. Even until I write this letter, my circle still remains clean, and the future is the same. Even if I really end up alone in my life, I will not betray my promise, I was too naive before. I never thought you would leave me without any sense of responsibility. I also cried and repented in front of you. But I knew that at that time, you would not listen to my words. But at that time, my repentance and thoughts were true, but I also thought a lot, including my suspension of school. It was also in my plan. I planned to take two years off, Then I will face the college entrance examination with you and accompany you for a longer time.

But the plan will never catch up with the changes, and I can also understand that the debt to you for so long is not comparable to a word. The year I spent with you is the happiest year I have ever felt in my life. Maybe in your eyes, I am getting worse day by day, but I can clearly feel that I will forget all the troubles around you, and I can maintain a good mood, The motivation of living on a boring campus every day is to see you, chat and laugh. These are the motivation of my survival. Although I have done stupid things and let you down and worry again and again, I never wanted to leave you alone in the world, but sometimes I found that I could not completely control my own thoughts, I love you in the eyes of the public, which is the reason to let me live rather than to let me give up, At that time, I almost planned to give up hospitalization. Just being with you was my best treatment. But you also thought of me. You thought that scientific treatment in the hospital was very important to me, and didn't want me to give up an appointment for more than two months of hospitalization for you. Because of your support, I chose hospitalization, which was also the longest treatment period. But during the hospitalization, There have been too many conflicts caused by force majeure and my reasons, and we are divided, so I may be the most regretful thing in my life if I go to hospital. Maybe it will not happen so much if I don't go to hospital, maybe I can give you more company if I don't go to hospital, maybe we can stay together if I don't go to hospital, but there is no such many possibilities in life, It's more about the past that can't be changed. Later, I also learned that I don't blame anyone for the difference between you and me. It's my own failure to let you down step by step. It's my own slowly wearing away your hope for love. It's me who makes you feel that our relationship is becoming more and more inappropriate. My irrationality is also one of the important reasons, but my vows are true, I am willing to use my life to prove that I am not threatening you with my life, but I want to live well and use time to prove everything, so I want to let time smooth all this. I built this website that will always exist with these as my original intention, Lovexzw point cn This may be the programmer to express his feelings, but also for you to pull all my contact information black, I can only see my thoughts on you the only bridge. The words in the bottom of my heart are the trickle of thoughts every night. I don't want you to meet it, but I want to keep on bubbling.

It used to be my fault, I was not responsible for it, but now I have really grown up, learned a lot, and understood a lot of things. At that time, we were still young and didn't understand, but I also did a lot of things that I am sorry for you, but you are the first person I planned into my future. In order to adapt to social life in advance, take good care of you, I can be responsible for you, During my absence from school due to illness, I worked as a Meituan preferred sorting worker for 50 yuan a day. I also worked as a salesperson in Xiaomi's direct store for 12 thousand one months. I also set up an independent online disk brand. One person worked with a group of people to operate the entire online disk operation. By the time I wrote this letter, I had my own partner and was going through the process of registering my own company, I want you to see my change. I'm also learning to adapt to the whole society and be responsible for you. Unlike me, who used to worry you like a child, I'm also trying to be responsible for you. No matter you have your own family in the future, or you can forgive me and start the story again, as long as I am alone, I'm the one who loves you. I promise not to interfere in your life without permission. Although I still want to protect you, I don't want you to think that I love you perversely and use protection as an excuse for surveillance. Therefore, if you don't allow me, even if I am a passer-by in your life, I will be satisfied if I can only look at you from afar, I didn't know what is big love and what is small love before. Maybe small love is that I used to be possessive and demanding of you, never taking care of your thoughts, and never thought in terms of other people. People may be like this. Only when they lose, they will know how to cherish. But I don't know if I have a chance to start again with you, But now I know at least what big love is. My love for you has also changed from small love to big love. I am not the kind of person who will be destroyed if I cannot get it. But I admit that I used to be a very scheming person, but I never used my scheming to you. For me, big love means that I should learn to let go. I cannot say yes, I love you, and I must ask you to love me, too, No, you can like and love anyone. I hope you can be with the person you like and really love you, even if that person is not me. I hope your life will get better and better. I also hope you can be happy every day and live the life you want. I can help you whenever you need my help, When you don't need me, I can disappear completely without any impact on your life. This is probably the most true idea in my heart now.

Like the ancients, I can't use the bright moon to express my missing for you. Of course, I can do that, but it is more for others to see than for you, who is the most important to me. In your world, it seems that I will disappear. So I choose to speak my determination on the Internet. At least, in the sea of the Internet, You also have the opportunity to see my determination, instead of going around like a bard to describe our regret, the story finally spread to the princess like a fairy tale. I love you, so I hope you find this, rather than I deliberately interfere in your life to cause your disgust, It's not that I wrote down all the words I wanted to say, put them in a bottle, threw them out, and I didn't know where to float. In the end, you didn't get anything. As long as you can see these words, it means that my heart for you is still there, and it proves that I am still waiting for you, no matter how good your life is, or not very satisfactory. As long as you want, I will be here for you at any time, whether my phone or WeChat, No matter QQ, I will be waiting for you at any time for all the contact information. I am not that reckless teenager at that time. At that time, I could not express what is like and what is love, but my heart never changed. If I love someone for a lifetime, then this sentence is valid for a lifetime. Indeed, the "production date" of this sentence is very early, But his "shelf life" is a lifetime. If I can, I hope that with your permission, I know that we can't continue, but we can start again. If we can't even start again, I hope to be friends with you, even if it's just friends, I'm satisfied... If one day, from your subjective perspective, you are disgusted by the presence of me, It interferes with your normal life, and really determines that I don't need my existence. I can guarantee that I will disappear from your side, life, and the world. But if you want to come to me one day, the probability may be very small, but I will also wait for you there, forever, forever.

End

Author: Mu Xi (QQ: 1463980872)

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