Refusal etiquette

To refuse is to refuse. Since it is an indirect negation of the will or behavior of others, it should be considered not to say absolutely, but to give others a step down.

Generally, rejection should be prompt and decisive, not ambiguous and ambiguous. When others ask for help from themselves, and this can not be helped, it should be said on the spot. At that time, I patted my chest, but after that, I kept on hiding, and finally I said I couldn't help it. What's the difference between this and cheating?

In terms of language skills, there are four ways of refusal: direct refusal, polite refusal, silent refusal and avoidance refusal.

To refuse directly means to state clearly the meaning of refusal on the spot. The important thing about this method is that we should avoid stiff attitude and unpleasant speech. In general, if you refuse others directly, you need to explain the reasons for your refusal. If possible, you can also express your gratitude to the other party to show that you understand their good intentions and show that you are reasonable.

Some people are not rational enough to ignore the excuse of rejection. If the other party gives you cash as a gift in business dealings with others, it is not acceptable according to the regulations, but you should never ask the other party unkindly for "peace of mind". It's better to use a gentle tone to refuse a gift. For example, you can say: "Mr. X, I really want to thank you for your kindness, but we stipulate that we are not allowed to accept gift money from others. I'm sorry, I can't accept your money." Then the other party will not be forced into trouble.

To refuse politely is to use mild and tortuous language to express refusal. It is easier to accept than outright rejection. Because to a greater extent, it protects the dignity of the rejected.

For example, a gentleman gives underwear to a lady who has a normal relationship. If the lady retorted, "This is for your mother, isn't it?" she would become a shrew. It's better to refuse politely and say, "It's very beautiful. But my boyfriend has bought several pieces of this style for me, so let's keep them for your girlfriend." This means that he has "a name for himself", and reminds the other party to be careful.

Silent refusal is to temporarily stop "speaking" and not say a word when facing a question that is difficult to answer. When others' problems are very difficult or even provocative and insulting, it's better to stop with silence, keep silent and watch the change. This refusal without saying "no" often has a strong psychological deterrent force.

Although the effect of the silent refusal method is obvious, if it is not properly used, it will inevitably "hurt people". Therefore, we can try the method of avoiding and not answering, "Wang Gu talks about him around", that is, "avoiding and refusing".

To avoid rejection is to avoid reality and take advantage of weakness. Instead of saying "yes" or "no" to the other party, we just put it aside and talk about other things. This method can be used when encountering excessive requirements or difficult questions from others.