Because of a document, the education and training industry has changed from sunrise to sunset. All the standard actions of online education institutions are“Layoff”The "passive unemployment" involves many positions, most of which have not yet become regular, and it is not easy for the old employees on the job.
Looking back, the wave of people forced to "lose their jobs",Some have found suitable opportunities, some lie flat at home, and some turn to become UP bloggers.
This year's cold wave is very oppressive and extends to many industries.
Even the boss has changed his words of cheering up the team from "our company's three-year IPO" to "everyone can rest assured that cash flow will last for two years". Only by doing a good job can we have the opportunity to break through the tight encirclement. It can be seen that it is really difficult.
But then again.
Not all entrepreneurs have the natural right to be kissed by "capital". A while ago, the company where my friend works went bankrupt due to business problems, and the salary has not been paid for two consecutive months.
Entrepreneurs' ability to rebuild confidence should be higher than that of ordinary people. In the troubled waters of early entrepreneurship, suffering has already trained the skills of Monkey King and the temper of Tang Monk;But,Ordinary people are different, because they have to struggle for a long time for a sentence, let alone "passive unemployment" falls on their own head.
In the face of changing environmentPsychological reconstructionIt is more important than blindly submitting resumes.
Enterprises are becoming more and more cautious in employing people. Even if they can "seamlessly connect", turbulence may occur within three months of entry. Therefore, "psychological reconstruction" will become a necessary course in life in the future.
1. Background of psychological reconstruction
Psychological reconstruction, to be precise, is called cognitive reconstruction and reappraisal;This term was first proposed by Deci&Ryan in 1975, and is also called "self determinism".It usually refers to our views and judgments on objective events.According to the theory,Overemphasis on external incentive factors will lead to the reduction of internal incentive motivation, so that activities with internal interest must rely on external rewards to maintain behavior.For example:There is a difference in the driving force between liking a job and working very hard, and managers value performance and reward work results;The former is more likely to be for their own hobbies and interests, while the latter is more likely to be for material purposes, so it is easy to lose control of behavior.In the Personality Handbook: Theory and Research, on pages 525-552, Gruber, J., Hay, A.C. and Gross, J.J. put forward a simple model based on emotional self-regulation. I think it focuses more on describing the post passive unemployment adjustment state.Its core meaning is:When external situational stimuli are selected and paid attention to, the last key before emotion generation will affect the feelings generated next;That is,Behind the psychological reconstruction is the loss of self-confidence. To rebuild self-confidence, we first need to reverse thinking.Everyone likes that when thinking forward according to the development of things, you need to "think in the opposite direction", push forward from the conclusion, and what is the reason for the current state, so as to grasp the root of the problem.
Then, after passive unemployment, what stages will a person's psychological changes go through?According to the common characteristics of young people, there are about five aspects:1) Slightly lost, 2) release excitement, 3) reduce confidence, 4) alarmist, 5) produce anxiety
Some netizens said that on the fifth working day of "passive unemployment", they imagined that they had feelings for the company after working for many years. Although there was not much, they always felt a sense of loss when they were suddenly abandoned. They came out of a stable environment directly and wanted to fight from scratch. The future was bleak and expectant.On the 10th working day, from getting up at 7 o'clock every morning to catch the most crowded subway in Tiantongyuan, we can now sleep until we wake up naturally. We feel relaxed. When we think of those jobs, our colleagues are haggling over each other, which seems to be a small pattern.However, seeing that some old colleagues are still in the company, it is inevitable to release a little excitement. Finally, there is a legitimate reason to relax for a period of time. Years of company whipping is gradually farther away from me,At this moment, I can play the role of "victim" to passively welcome the arrival of the holiday. I began to think about where to play in the city."I decided not to send photos because I was afraid of being seen." On the 15th day, I began to be cautious.After all, everyone knows that I have just changed jobs. If they know that I have been laid off, it seems very humiliating. From the perspective of parents, they must think, "Oh, this child is going to become a jobless vagrant, and must not have done a good job".As a result, I let everyone know that some friends comforted me and said, "Now the market is in a bad situation, just take what you deserve". I gradually felt relieved.However, some partners said that they should find a class soon, and the year will come after October, otherwise they will not find it this year."I do have friends who have been looking for a job for half a year, but none of them are suitable. In addition, their feedback on resume, interview and boss's style of work has started to make me toss and turn,At the moment, I didn't play enough and I was worried about employment, so I decided to submit my resume. "This is the 25th day.After about two weeks of delivery, I only received 5-6 HR replies, but all of them ended up being inappropriate. I began to feel anxious, wondering whether my ability had deteriorated because I had not worked for a month.So, in order to hurry to work, I made three resumes with different intentions, and refreshed the major recruitment apps every day. I often woke up because I didn't have a job.To sum up, many people have had the same experience, and you will find that,Rebuilding confidence is totally different from building confidence mechanism. Building confidence is trying to accomplish something that has never been good at before. How about rebuilding?It means that you used to be great, but now you are not.be just like:It is hard to avoid nervousness when speaking to the public for the first time. After 10 times, I will feel that it is natural to let things go. Although I am not good at computers, it is not so difficult to operate Excel for the first time. However, once I have a foundation, I will establish my expectations for the next time. If the expectations collapse instantly, the obstacles will be difficult to overcome.As:After changing two jobs, the window was empty for a short time. Every time the market scrambled for a job, there would be a false impression. The third job was still very popular, so I had nothing to worry about.The first and second time you see a swan is black, and you subconsciously think that it must be black when you see a swan next time. Naturally, you will be less alert to the successful outcome.In other words,Just like for a student who gets a C all the year round, getting a B+may be exciting;But for students who always get A's, it's like a slap in the face.So basically, confidence is based on expectations. You think you can do well next time.In reality, the confidence feeling of success probability calculated by inductive reasoning is not the most realThe same thing becomes different because of the different situations, and will be troubled by the framework.
2. The framing effect is calculating you
Daniel Kahneman, a psychologist who won the Nobel Prize, said:
The framing effect is "passive acceptance of a given expression". Specifically, when you go to a restaurant, the waiter asks you whether to drink coffee or tea?If you choose between "coffee" and "tea", you will be framed. If you do not choose between them, you will not be framed.
It is framed because of cognitive miser.
The human brain likes automatic behavior and does not like thinking. In other words,The brain is stingy with thinking, so it's called a miser. In fact, most of your daily activities do not need thinking.
For example, how to put food in your mouth instead of in your nose, which way to go to work, which subway exit, which bus to take, etc. When you are used to being automatic, you will be "stingy" and extended to other things to think about.
Now think about it.
We may automatically think that stars must be reliable in advertising products, and that the words of an expert must be correct, even if the experts say that they are not professional or familiar with the field, you will believe;The first two resumes are very easy to apply for employment, and the third one must be easy. This is the effect of brain stinginess on self-confidence.
It seems nothing, but it is actually played with.
"The framing effect of self-confidence problems" will affect the way of feeling and thinking. One academic point out that mathematics and language scores are interrelated, and people still classify themselves as "linguistic" or "mathematical" when writing reports after graduation from college.
Why?The reason is that,If you think any subject of "mathematics" or "language" is better, it will change your expectation of another subject of "good"As a result, the brain is not good at thinking about the inertia of assumptions, often playing with you.
Feel abstract, and then change the expression.
Richard Taylor, an American economist, ordered a card called"Costs are not losses"。In his research on consumers, there is a statement:
Gas station A sells 5.6 yuan per liter of gasoline, and cash payment can get a discount of 0.6 yuan per liter;At gas station B, every liter of gasoline costs 5.00 yuan, and every liter of credit card will cost 0.60 yuan more,Obviously, the economic cost of buying gasoline from any gas station is the same.
In reality, most people think that gas station A is more attractive than gas station B, because the proportion of psychological discomfort associated with purchasing gasoline from gas station A is smaller than that associated with purchasing gasoline from gas station B.
In other words,Gas station A is linked to a certain income, while station B is linked to a certain loss.
Therefore, when we measure goods, transactions and expectations, we attach more importance to "loss" than "income". Therefore, when enterprises price or promote, they often serialize with income rather than loss, which can stimulate consumer behavior.
After replacing it with "passive unemployment", it is the same in the job hunting scenario.
The essence of your expectation of going to work early and finding a job is to make money, which is linked to income,A profitable life will not be difficult, and there will be no pressure on rent and mortgageHowever, when such gains cannot be satisfied, it will trigger the loss aversion effect.
Just like the mentality of borrowing money but not paying it back, the longer you feel that the money belongs to you, the more you want it;Similarly, if you can't find a job, the more urgent you are, the more retaliatory you will deliver your resume.
So the essence of brain miser is,Under the condition of risk expectation, our behavioral tendency is "hope can be predicted", that is, we must get what we pay.
All these are based on the framework thinking of self-confidence.
It can be seen that the reason why confidence building is so secretive is that stingy cognition can cause false expectations. Your expectations are all based on "past performance", and even a little less can be devastating.
Therefore, reconstruction is basically expected value deviation.
So, is reconstruction an advanced ability?Not necessarily.We have grown up in reconstruction since childhood. The psychological reconstruction brought by the frustration after being dismissed is just a change of scene.
Like, when I was a child, what should I do if I haven't learned bicycle for a long time?Stop for two days and come again.
Take me as an example, I have been hosting conferences and forums for two years after graduation. After I entered the Internet company, I had no chance to contact again. After a conference hosted in the first half of the year, I obviously felt that the "basic skills" had gone backwards.
After the end, I still felt a bit guilty. Although I held the TV station qualification certificate, I suddenly felt that my hosting skills might not be as good as I thought. How could my practice regress so much? Maybe my hosting career has been destroyed forever
Of course, these doubts exaggerate the problem.
In the long run,The learning of a new skill often suppresses the old skill. Forgetting is normal, and learning again is usually fast.
From this, you will find that my feelings are not always rational. When the old skill switch has been turned on, what once brought me pride and confidence has now destroyed my professionalism.
Don't you think this is the same reason?
Long term resume submission without feedback is just like rebuilding a skill after forgetting it. In my heart, it is just a change to a different scene.
It is worth noting that in the face of various situations in life, others will say that we can adjust our attitude, correct our views and face them again. However, we often fall into the superficial consolation, which is positive and helpless.
3. Use of invalid placebo
What do you mean?for instance:The girl said, "My dear, I have a cold", the boy said, "Just drink some water", my dear, I have a stomachache, and the other party said, "Don't go to see a doctor". Finally, they broke up. Why?The boy said a lot, which was basically not said. In psychology, it was just superficial comfort.
In short,The comfort of the other side does not help me in any way. In the invisible level, it will become "attribution error", which will eventually lead to a straight back, blind and confident mistake.
I have a colleague who works as a user in a large factoryoperateFor expert positions, after leaving the company to look for a job, no one else has the opportunity to interview. He has got many opportunities, but none of them has been successful.
A friend nearby comforted him and said, "It's OK. Maybe it's not a good match. Let's talk more." Then once we had a meal together, I said, let me help you evaluate it.
According to the regular interview, our conversation is as follows:
What position are you interviewing for?"User operation", what did you do in the company?The other side plans theme activities for platform users on a regular basis, sets drainage strategies before, during and after the activities, and then plans layering, community operations, and fission activities based on users (there are many more)
Can you see the problem?Sometimes, you think you can do a lot, and you will give one to the other. I don't seem to be the best at doing anything, or I do a lot of complicated work without producing effective performance.
So, how can he use this method to interview more companies?
The results are basically the same "embarrassed, not appropriate". In other words, we need comfort when feeling confused and frustrated. The recipient not only needs to read your internal thoughts, but also feel everything you describe, and propose effective solutions.
If not, it is an invalid placebo.
The other phenomenon is more terrible. I call it "didactic"For example, if you tell your parents and good friends about "passive unemployment", they don't know how hard you have tried to change recently, but they can't change it.The other person doesn't pay attention to your emotional experience and doesn't know the background, so he comes up and says, "You are too demanding, and you don't want to do small things, or" it's hard to find a job, so don't blame yourself too much. ".
To be honest,The former directly negates the other person's personality and subconsciously expresses "you can't do it", while the latter attributes the poor results to the outside and has nothing to do with you.
As a result, the comfort of not having emotional resonance and not knowing where the other party's problems are is invalid. Although the starting point is positive, it will inadvertently sprinkle salt on the other party's wounds. All kinds of situations may not make us better, and on the contrary, it will gradually alienate the relationship between friends (family).
If you are not conscious enough, you are likely to fall into their minds. It can be seen how great the harm is. Then, from the perspective of the receiver, how can we effectively comfort others?
First of all, you need to guide the other party to express their feelingsNo matter how we feel approved or denied, we all want to be seen,Second, observe the other party's ideas, which may be revealed during negotiations, especially when words such as "I may/I think
Then, starting from self understanding, give reference items.
For example: How about I accompany you to reorganize your work experience?Can you ask some people in the same field who are better than you?Talk to them and assess the ability of a vertical position. This is the best consolation plan. It is briefly described as "confirmation before suggestions".
4.3 Reconstruct psychology with the key
From the above description, you can see that the essence of reconstruction is"Expectations get higher", plus the brain's unwillingness to thinkCognition stinginess, let yourself fall intoIn the framework of blind confidenceIt seems fragile and helpless when others are seemingly comforting but unable to solve the problem from the root.
From the perspective of self, how to rebuild?
The basic assumption of cognitive evaluation theory is that emotion is an individual's perception of "beneficial or harmful response" to environmental events, which is a complex conceptual rating process (Lazarus, 1991). In summary, it can be basically divided into three aspects.
1) Reappraisal of emotional awareness
This is one of the most fundamental insights in reconstruction. After all, "solve emotions first, then solve problems".
The so-called cognitive emotion regulation strategy is to look at the situation from a different perspective, reinterpret the meaning of a situation, and thus change the emotional experience brought by the situation (Wang Yanmei&Mao Ruijie, 2016).
For example, when you see a woman crying in the church, it may trigger your negative emotions;At this time, you can reinterpret the situation. For example, a woman is attending her daughter's wedding and is happy to leave tears, which can weaken your negative emotions.
So,There are generally two ways to regulate cognitive emotion, one is to reduce negative emotions, the other is to help generate positive emotions. Research has found that the latter is more effective.
So what is reflected behind the "passive unemployment" scenario?
On the one hand, it is an objective factor. In the cold winter of capital, the company's projects have no profitability, and its own department cannot create incremental value;On the other hand, it is a subjective factor. The management takes the opportunity to exchange blood, the ability matching of old employees in new business is low, and the end elimination system and other problems.
It is worth mentioning that when you can not find a suitable opportunity to deliver your "passive unemployment" resume for a period of time, there is also a huge emotional reaction. No matter what aspect, you should look at it from a positive perspective.
More importantly, there is no suitable opportunity for long-term delivery, but also side reaction"You should examine the ability and expectation post"This requires ability reassessment.
2) Ability focused reappraisalI have divided the ability into three dimensions: "bottom, middle and surface". The bottom is the key advantage part, the middle is based on the post requirements, and the surface is the soft ability (communication, team cooperation, project coordination).For example, for the public relations post, any company's basic requirement for this post is "writing ability". If it is slightly more mid-level management, it will require the ability of quarterly and annual planning, and be more senior. It will be a bonus to reserve external resources and plan public relations communication programs.
Or: In the past, you were an "operation post". Do you focus on APP operation, private domain operation, or community operation and data operation?
Don't position yourself as a jack of all trades. You can focus on finding out the professional part and regard other skills as subsidiary items.
So,Realizing the "core competence" in each experience can finally be summarized. What are my advantages over others and what are my weaknesses? In this way, I can correctly position myself, and my expectations will not deviate too much.
3) Re evaluation of internal incentives
Most people regard "self comfort" as an incentive, and dream of becoming better without paying.
The correct incentive method is to take "goals as fun", appropriately lower the standard, set a deadline (for example, find a job within 2 months), respond to the final goal with a gamelike mentality, and bury the expected setbacks and failures in the process.
In this way, you will not induce anxiety due to uncontrollable factors;With extra time, you can also do some value-added things, such as writing about the thinking of work review, summarizing business methodology, etc.
This is like learning a bicycle. At the beginning, you accept the fact that you may fail. Then, when an accident happens, you will not be so sad. When the next opportunity comes, the value-added things you do in the gap months will add more chips and become additional capabilities.
Therefore, the reconstruction method is very simple.Be aware of your own emotions, adjust them to positive aspects, re evaluate your ability to find specific items, and then lower your standards, take your goals as fun, and use your spare time to do value-added thingsBe calm. If you make these deliberate exercises routine, you will be invincible.Overall:Cognitive reconstruction is to reassess oneself.
Look at the past experience from several perspectives. Everything in the future is not as imagined. Imagination cannot fluctuate without satisfaction because of problems that occur in reality.
At the same time, in the process, we should correct the "inherent values", turn the traditional concepts into the current state, and use reality to predict and verify, so as to reshape them;I believe that everything will be fine in the future.Reference:oneThe Personality Handbook: Theory and Research (pp. 525-552) Gruber, J., Hay, A.C. and Gross, J.JtwoEmotional regulation in adulthood: timing is everything.Advances in Psychological Science, 10 (6), 214-219,Gross, James, J., (2001).
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