Many social taboos have been broken. Iranians have held wedding parties and put on fashionable clothes
Tehran - To enter Emarat wedding hall, you need to drive out of Tehran to the countryside, along a series of rural roads to the gate marked with a number. The security guard at the entrance will check your name according to the list, and then guide you to a parking lot that can't be seen by the roadside - there is a lot of space, and it seems that it is OK to park hundreds of cars.
After getting off the bus, you will walk through an arched passageway covered with vines to a lush garden, and finally walk to a large wooden door - the entrance to the main auditorium. On this day, the auditorium was filled with tables decorated with flowers, and dozens of chandeliers were shining above.
The wedding of Amir Hashemi, the groom, and Melina Hashemi, the bride, is holding a celebration banquet here. The man in evening dress and the woman with perfect hairstyle in the off shoulder dress dress decorated with artificial jewelry danced on the dance floor with the most popular tune - the song was the classic pop song "The Pretty Ones Have to Dance" sung by the Iranian exiled singer Andy. Couples sitting at the table are chatting and sipping water from small plastic bottles.
In short, except for the remote location, this is a very normal Western style high-level wedding banquet. However, in Iran, these celebrations violated at least six basic laws governing personal behavior in the Islamic Republic, including the coexistence of men and women in the same room, the exposure of women's clothing, and the absence of headscarves, dancing, playing pop music, as well as drinking alcoholic drinks (water bottles are actually drinks with vodka).
If in another era, all these violations would be punished by whipping or imprisonment. Even now, people who do not wear headscarves and drink will still be punished.
In traditional Iranian weddings, men and women have to sit in separate rooms, and can only applaud in their seats. If they meet outside after the wedding, they cannot shake hands, because any physical contact is prohibited. But the Hashemi couple's wedding and many other social activities that are not so strict show that the old rules are being replaced by inevitable changes.
"We don't want to have a traditional wedding at all," said Hashemi, a 36 year old office equipment vendor
Amir Hashemi, the groom, and Melina, the bride, danced tango at the wedding, passing through a cloud of smoke from a smoker. "We don't want to hold a traditional wedding at all," said Hashemi, 36
"We want to celebrate with everyone," said Mrs. Hashemi, 29.
About ten years ago, the risk of being caught by the security forces and moral police trying to uphold the law was still high. But now - at least in Tehran - there are dozens of wedding halls that young couples can choose on Instagram. They are scattered along the hidden roads in the southern plain of Tehran, some of which are very large, and are equipped with security, catering services, DJs, bands and fireworks services. Those sites, like Emarat, are long-term investment projects that cost millions of dollars to build.
These celebrations are still illegal, with occasional police appearances, sometimes to collect kickbacks. Even so, weddings celebrated by men and women together have become a major industry in Tehran. These places hold weddings almost every night.
Asal Rastakiz, a 36 year old wedding photographer, said: "Nowadays, there is too much demand for modern weddings. Most of the time, the government has to acquiesce to its existence."
In 1979, millions of Iranians joined the revolution led by Muslim clergy and ousted Shah Mohammed Reza Pahlavi, who was supported by the West. Because it was regarded as a preparation for the afterlife, the strict Islamic law was widely supported by the public at that time. However, this consensus began to collapse within a few years, and Iran's religious government and its increasingly modern society fell into an unprecedented tug of war.
Even if conservatives monopolize Iran's politics, education system, courts, security forces and most of the news media, conservative leaders are still retreating. Although the laws have hardly been modified, the continuous reduction of public support has made the implementation of these laws more and more complicated. Many taboos in the past are now beginning to be accepted by the society.
"The dominant theocratic regime is trapped in its own ideology, which is ambiguous and unpredictable," said Shahla Lahiji, a publisher and activist for human rights. "It cannot even accept the slightest change in the law, and can tolerate change only under the compulsion of the people."
Iran is in a state of vacillation in all aspects, with the period of relative freedom alternating with the period of repression. For example, during the eight years of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's presidency, police law enforcement was much stricter. However, all this ended in 2013, and even then, people were constantly striving for more personal freedom. Most Iranians said that the changes that are taking place are so widespread and widely accepted that a major upheaval is needed to reverse the situation.
MZone fashion store, two shoppers in front of the jewelry booth - this store has brought a group of active underground fashion designers into public view.
"The social change in Iran has been irreversible. Because the tradition has been changed, and the way people interact and connect has also changed," said reporter Nader Karimi Joni. "No law or repression can reverse this situation."
Of course, the disappointment and dissatisfaction of the society with the government sometimes erupted into public resistance: in 2009, the people of Tehran took to the streets to protest, and they thought that the election of Ahmadinejad's re-election as president had been fraudulent.
The rise of Instagram has made Tehran's modern lifestyle widely spread, making those small town residents have similar needs. Held in more than 80 provincial towns in December last year and January this year National protests Most of the appeals are economic, but some people expressed their desire for more freedom during the week-long protest.
However, these explosive activities will not bring more freedom, but will stimulate government repression. Freedom is realized in a more ingenious way.
Traditional rules have not only become broad in the wedding hall. Six years ago, Asal Khalilpour, 35, took a big risk when he held his first fashion event. In those days when the police raided the shops irregularly to check whether they sold "improper" clothes, a series of fashion shows such as "The Ladies Weekend", which brought a large number of active underground fashion designers into public view, persisted.
Halipur, who was born in a family of entrepreneurs, said: "At that time, there was no fashion activity in Iran. Fashion was something that the government did not approve, but people wanted, and they wanted to be different." For a long time, clothing has been the battlefield of the Iranian people and government. In addition to the headband that must be worn, women should also wear a closed jacket that covers below the knee. Men are not allowed to wear shorts. For decades, only doctors could wear a tie, which was regarded as a symbol of the West.
Previously, coffee shops in Iran were mostly hidden. But the Sam Caf é in Tehran has floor to ceiling windows facing the street outside. People can sit at the same table and talk with strangers.
Even so, Iranians can always find some creative ways to change or even ignore those rules: some men are keen on western mullet hairstyles, and some women wear tight coats. Recently, women's open coat is very popular. Although the moral police still roam the streets - occasionally arbitrarily arresting those They think they didn't wear a headscarf Women - but the government no longer enforces most of the rules except for headscarves and shorts.
In the latest fashion event sponsored by BMW in Haripple, young Iranian women walked through the shelves full of products of local fashion designers. "Now we are not only not disturbed by (the police), they also praise us for making products locally," she said.
There are three Sam's cafes in Tehran. Recently, the music of British female singer Dua LIPA came from the stereo of one of the branches - until three years ago, only pure music was allowed here. Young people wearing white headphones, sitting in front of Apple computers, drinking coffee, as if the capital of the Islamic Republic is just an ordinary city in the vast world.
For many years, coffee shops in Iran have been opened in hidden places so that young couples can meet secretly. The police tend to keep an eye on such places to catch all those who violate the code of ethics - that is, they are not allowed to kiss or hold hands.
However, Mohsen Majidikhah, the owner of Sam's Cafe, hopes to provide a more friendly environment. Therefore, this Sam's Cafe has installed floor to ceiling windows facing the street. People can sit and chat with strangers. Majidiha said that he believes in the power of groups. But he also admitted that the cafe had been closed twice by the secret police.
The decade long tug of war between society and the government has made many people more and more tired. Sociologist Hojat Kalashi said that people are happy to win freedom from the government, but if you are still likely to be arrested at a mixed wedding party, what's the meaning of all this?
"We have been in the process of change, but the ruling government lacks theory or foresight on how to manage the country," he said. "They don't know how to respond to people's needs and instincts." He concluded that, Eventually, this will lead to collapse or explosion: "It is obvious that the contradiction between the gradually changing society and the rigid laws cannot last forever."
Some people think further and feel very regretful for missing the opportunity to amend the law.
Hamidreza Jalaeipour, a reformist politician and political science professor, said: "We should work harder to promote the formulation of new laws and urge people to protest in the street. We just failed to put these changes into writing."
Translator: Qiao Mu from Panda Translation Agency Copyright of the title and pictures in the text: Arash Khamooshi for The New York Times | 
