Wang Guoping/Wen
Children's development has both personalities and commonalities, especially in the aspects of children and parents, congenital genes and acquired influences. After years of educational management practice and research, I found that there are at least four laws as follows:
01 Identical theory
Everyone knows that children are "copies" of their parents and parents are "models" of their children, but what they don't understand is that some people put too much emphasis on genetic genes. Don't you know that many factors like parents determine children's personality, but more are acquired influences.
Dr. Montessori said that children have a strong absorptive mind, which reveals the role of environment in children's growth. So, what is the first environment that affects children? I think it's parents, the nearest person to them.
However, this "environment" also has "positive and negative". If parents' negative emotions are often displayed in front of children, the "copy" may be "distorted", because children are inherently good. Therefore, under the objective fact that everyone has problems and advantages, I suggest giving the positive to children and hiding the negative. In this way, there is the "identity theory" of children and parents.
02 Contradiction
At present, there are more and more children and parents who are uncomfortable. Is there something wrong with their relationship? No, there are problems in some aspects of society, and there are more "involved parents"; It is because the parents' expectations for children's growth exceed the normal value, and the children's rebellious period is advanced, especially before the age of six, when the character is not stereotyped, the children will grow in the opposite direction to their parents.
A powerful mother said: "My son is not like me at all. He has a weak personality and does not look like a man. He always relies on supervision and does not take the initiative to learn. When I was his age, I had to compete for the first place in everything!" I said: "You may shape yourself into a mountain in front of your son, and then your son will go from worship to high mountain. In this way, children will lose their self-confidence after a long time, and they will be willing to be mediocre. This is called 'strong generals send weak soldiers'. On the contrary, another mother will always show her weakness in front of her son, and then his son will have the confidence of a man. "
This is the "opposite theory" in family education
03 Relativity
As I said before, parents are the first environment for children. In fact, in addition, parents also have a position as the "first evaluator" for children's growth. However, this kind of assessment needs "reference", including their own brothers and sisters, and even "children from other families". The key is to get used to comparing "the advantages of other people's children" with "the disadvantages of their own children". As a result, things will become bigger, more worried than their parents, more worried than their children, and ultimately it will be useless for their growth.
In fact, it is called learning from the best when looking for an example for children's growth. Yes, what may be wrong is the object and method of comparison. If we always look for "too strong special projects for too strong children", relatively speaking, the problem will come and our children will be discouraged.
Therefore, the key of tutor relativity is the method and scale.
04 Belief theory
Believing that children "can do it" is not only a kind of attitude of tutoring, but also an energy for children's growth. Especially in the face of things beyond children's experience and ability, it is better to promote children's growth by properly pulling up a little. This view is what I call "the belief theory of children's growth".
In the history of world education, there are two statements about children's education: one is the British scholar Locke more than 300 years ago, who said that children are a white board. When they come to the world, they are poor. All their skills are the result of acquired education. He positively affirmed the significance of education for human reproduction; Another is Dr. Montessori, who said after research that children come into the world with human genetic ability, especially the learning ability absorbed from the environment, which is stronger than adults.
Therefore, Montessori Education's attitude towards children is first to believe, then to let go. In a sense, a teacher is like a person who opens the door to children's life, and also like a person who leads a life with children, rather than many parents who treat children too much as children, and children have no way to squeeze into life. They always say, "You are still young, you can't.". So how can children grow up?
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