If the conditions are met, you can ask for a refund. Both parties to divorce by agreement can return the betrothal gifts by agreement. If the agreement is unsuccessful, they can file a lawsuit to the court. When handling the case of marital property disputes, they should return the betrothal gifts as long as it causes the relative difficulties of the payer. As for how to prove that the court will verify, as long as it is part of the betrothal gifts identified by the court, it should be returned in full. According to Article 10 of the Interpretation on Several Issues Concerning the Application of the Marriage Law of the People's Republic of China (II), if a party requests to return the betrothal gifts paid according to custom, the people's court shall support it if it is found that the following circumstances exist:
 （1） Both parties have not gone through marriage registration procedures; （2） Both parties have gone through the marriage registration procedures but do not live together;
 （3） Giving money before marriage and causing difficulties for the payer. The application of the provisions of sub paragraphs (2) and (3) of the preceding paragraph shall be conditional on the divorce of both parties.