For a long time, I was ashamed to admit that I loved you.

When I was studying, I worked part-time outside. In the office, there was a male colleague who was very "bitchy". He spoke with his voice in his mouth and walked with a weak willow. People gave him the nickname "Jia Baoyu". At first, it was just a secret cry. Later, as soon as the male colleague appeared, women would call him "Brother Bao!" in a sweet and greasy voice. He didn't care. "Alas," he said, deserved nothing. I heard it, and secretly squeezed a small fist. In my heart, there was a voice: Brother Bao, he also deserves!

Brother Bao was once the most amiable name in the world. In the 1980s, a TV play "A Dream of Red Mansions" became popular all over the streets and alleys, making the name from a book of gifted scholars and beautiful women into the homes of ordinary people.

I was only seven years old when I first saw the owner of this name. At that time, my neighbor had a 14 inch black and white TV set with a small screen. When the signal was not very stable, it was full of snowflakes. It was in this TV set that I saw you and Sister Lin. On TV, Sister Lin is always angry with you. She can't help but leave you. You run after her and call out repeatedly: "Good sister, good sister, don't be angry."

I was too young at that time to understand why Sister Lin was so angry, so I didn't like her and thought she was too cautious. But I still love watching her angry with you, just to listen to the words "good sister". I never knew that a person could call his sister so beautiful, so gentle voice, even if the heart is hard, it will become soft. No wonder you have repeatedly made Sister Lin angry. She still can't let you go.

Occasionally, you don't quarrel. Once, when the peach blossoms were blooming at the right time, you sat on the big stone under the peach blossom tree to read. At that time, Sister Lin came with a flower hoe, sat down side by side with you, and silently bent down to read together. The spring wind blows out the flowers, and the peach blossom rustles all over you. At your feet, the water is babbling. The TV was originally black and white. At that moment, the world in my eyes suddenly came alive. The flowing water was light green, the peach blossom was pink, and your python robe was bright red.

Before I knew what love was, I had already learned the taste of love, from the story of you and Sister Lin.

At the age of seven, I can't even write the word "Jia". I can only write the words "fake gems" on the old desk calendar over and over, which makes my aunt and uncle laugh at me. My uncle asked me if I would marry a man like Jia Baoyu when I grew up. I am only seven years old, and I already know what kind of man I like. He will always smile like you, and his voice will always be gentle. When I am angry, he will call me a thousand words of "good sister" with tenderness.

Later, after reading the original work of A Dream of Red Mansions, I confirmed that your clothes are bright red, that you are one hearted to Sister Lin, and that you are as perfect as I imagined. No, but also perfect. Those who have experienced your tenderness are not only Sister Lin, but also many sisters in the Grand View Garden. Knowing that Xi Ren likes to eat steamed buns with bean curd skin, you should save them for her. Qingwen gets up in her little clothes on a winter night, and you are busy warming her hands.

Your gentleness is purely natural. Even for a girl you don't know, you don't grudge this tenderness. Seeing Ling Guan drawing the word "Qiang" there, you were kind enough to remind others, but you forgot that you were also in the rain. Grandma Liu made a wild story about a girl in a red shirt. You believe it and want to go all the way to see Fanghua. You have a kind of elegance engraved in your bones. Even in the noisy and disorderly banquet, you blurted out a delicate and sentimental tune like Red Bean Melody.

Not everyone can understand your preciousness. In the eyes of most people, you are just a stone that has no material to mend the sky. You care for your sisters, but your sisters laugh at you for being "busy". Fortunately, Sister Lin understands you, so only she can read the Western Chamber with you. Only she never advises you to be enthusiastic about fame. I believe that Daiyu had no grudge when she was dying. How can she be called a regret for being loved so beautifully by you.

When I grow up, every man I like looks like you, whether it's Leslie Cheung or Duan Yu. I think women all over the world are like me, eager to be loved exquisitely. I think for a woman, gentleness is the most important characteristic of a man. Later, I found that the world has changed. It has become so tough, so cold, and can't tolerate any tenderness. Girls love tough guys and loafers, but they don't love chivalry and tenderness. In such an era, no wonder you have to be abandoned like an old shoe. The word "Jia Baoyu" has even been misread as a sissy.

At one time, I was ashamed to mention that I loved you deeply. This is an era full of sonorous roses. Even women have become refined. How can I admit without blushing that I only love to wrap my fingers? As a result, I like a man to go to the workplace, like a man to go back. I thought that I had already cultivated copper skin and iron bone, but how I missed you when I was squeezed into a piece of paper by tough men on the bus, when I made a mistake in my work and was scolded like a dog by my male boss, when I quarreled with my husband and silently wiped tears on the bed.

I have grown up and no longer fantasize about marrying a man like you as a child, but how eager I am to meet men who can more or less retain your gentleness. Maybe they also have tender moments. In front of their lovers, when love has not cooled down, none of them can compare with you. Your tenderness is born and never changes.

The world has no treasure brother.

Now there are Jia Lian and Jiao Da everywhere, but there is no room for an elegant and exquisite soul. A man like you is destined to grow up in a gentle and rich village. There are many handsome men in the Red Chamber draft, but they are just empty. No one can perform your innate gentleness.

The night moon is a curtain of dreams, and the spring breeze is ten miles of tenderness. Even if the spring breeze is ten li, it is not as good as you.