There are two kinds of peer relationships: one is the popularity in peer groups, namely peer acceptance; The second is the mutual, one-on-one relationship between friends, also known as friendship. The primary group developed on the basis of peer acceptance is a small group formed based on friendship, geography and psychology, with in-depth face-to-face communication among members, strong feelings, and members difficult to replace. The results of the research on the relationship between children's friendship and peer acceptance show that "children's peer acceptance can positively predict the number of children's friendship." Friendship is a two-way relationship between two or more children, which is established by two children based on their common ideal goals and interests.

This is a two-way, in-depth and stable intimate relationship between individuals. Good peer relations have such characteristics: First, positive attributes prevail, which requires that the experience of positive emotions such as security, support, intimacy, trust, and companionship greatly surpass the experience of betrayal, quarrel, ridicule, and bullying among peers; The second is the existence of friendship. Being accepted by peers does not represent the development of children's friendship. The existence of one-on-one friendship is the result of the in-depth development of children's peer relationship orientation, and is a good indicator of children's peer relationship evaluation; The third is stability. The peer relationship based on the willingness of both parties should be maintained for a certain period of time to produce beneficial effects.

1 Good peer relationship is the ladder of children's cognitive development

Children's cognitive development has always been concerned. Children's attention, memory, language expression, thinking development, etc. are good indicators of cognitive development. Piaget divides children's cognitive development into four stages: perceptual movement, pre operation, specific operation and formal operation. The factors that affect the leap from one stage to the next are maturity, experience, social environment and balance. Classroom discussion and mutual learning. According to Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences, everyone has his or her own type of intelligence. Some are particularly sensitive to music, some have good language skills, and some have strong memory abilities. In peer interaction and in the evaluation of parents and teachers, children gradually find their own differences from others, so as to find their own strengths in the praise of their peers and stimulate their motivation to find reference frames and objects for the weak parts of intelligence. This complementary interactive learning among peers is of great benefit to children's cognitive development.

2 Good peer relationship is the source of children's emotional support

With the growth of children's age and the gradual expansion of their exploration of the outside world, children can no longer be satisfied with the sense of trust and security obtained from their mothers and familiar people. They begin to try to find the sustenance of "love and belonging" among their peers to meet their needs for communication, love and respect. With good peer relationships, children experience happiness, sadness, pain, anger and other emotions in harmonious or conflict interaction, find friends and develop friendship in talking and cooperation, and promote the social development of emotions and emotions. Learn to recognize others' facial expressions in common activities, so as to increase the experience of experiencing others' emotions and emotions. Further learn to share joy and sorrow with empathy, and enhance empathy. The greatest support of good peer relationships for children's emotions is to resist the invasion of loneliness. Compared with other children, children who lack peers or friends are more likely to appear withdrawn, withdrawn, indifferent, depressed or other psychological obstacles, accompanied by negative emotions such as anxiety, depression and negative self-evaluation. Although the "one-child policy", which has lasted for many years, was unfrozen in 2013, the family of one child is still high. Although the company with toys can be temporarily comforted, the play with friends is an unforgettable childhood. The "left behind children" caused by the imbalance of economic development, because they lack the care and care of their parents, the maintenance of peer relations is an effective way to resist this negative and diffuse psychological state.

3 Good peer relationship is the booster of self-concept and personality development

Mills, an American sociologist, proposed significant others. He believed that "parents are children's interactive important others. However, with the growth of children's age, the role of parents' important others gradually weakens, while the position of teachers, peer groups and other important others gradually rises." In early childhood, the self-centered cognitive world knows the "main self", With the interaction with parents and peers, children's "others and me" are constantly enriched. Through imitation learning and observation learning, children learn from their elders to their peers, and gradually form a complete self-awareness in their peers' behaviors and emotional reactions, thus promoting the integrity of self-awareness, self-examination, self-awareness and self-evaluation systems. In social interaction, children get information about how they are perceived by others. This information is used to form the basis of self. In actual communication, children gradually recognize the characteristics of others and their image and status in the eyes of others, learn to live in peace with others and can carry out common activities for the same goal, Learn how to adhere to their own opinions or give up their own opinions, learn how to analyze and deal with conflicts with others, and be able to recognize the roles of leaders and followers in an equal environment, and clarify their roles and status relative to peers. This can not only help children to become egocentric, but also help the development of self-concept and personality.

4 Good peer relationship is an important bridge to realize children's socialization

People are group animals, and the development of peer relationship is the initial progress of children's integration into society. In the Guidelines for Kindergarten Education issued in 2001, China put forward requirements for children's social education, such as "being willing to interact with others, learning mutual aid, cooperation and sharing, and being compassionate". In the new curriculum standard, it also pointed out to pupils that "they can listen to others' opinions, communicate and cooperate with others on an equal basis, and learn to participate in collective life democratically", All of these require children to actively participate in interpersonal communication, develop their social ability in listening and dialogue, and realize socialization well.

5 Summary

To sum up, the three terms are quite different. This also puts forward higher requirements for the authors of many documents, that is, to distinguish the true meaning of terms and the environmental conditions used, and standardize the use of the three terms. In practical application, pay attention to the following two aspects: first, use the terms accurately, clearly know the meaning of the three terms, correctly express the views of the article, and do not mix or misuse the three terms. If it is really difficult to express, make a definition of your own views, so as to avoid misunderstanding by readers; Second, when quoting other people's literature, we must understand the real point of view of the article, prevent misquotation, and clarify the confused meaning expression.