1. I really want to be your mobile phone, in your arms, in your hands, in your eyes, in your heart!

2. A female colleague in the office suddenly said, "I always think my son doesn't look like me. Could it be that my husband cheated on me.

3. New Three Abilities and Four Virtues: When a wife goes out, she should follow her orders, and when she is wrong, she should follow them blindly; The wife should wait for her makeup, remember her birthday, be willing to spend money, and be tolerant of beating and scolding.

4. Love is the yearning in the heart, the resonance of feeling, the collision of inspiration, the shining of lightning, the sweet nectar, and the intoxicating pure wine. Happy Valentine's Day to you!

5. Crickets beep and spiders ask why your voice has changed? Cricket: I have a cold. The dial tone is wrong, so I can't get on. Then the spider suddenly fell down. Cricket: Ah? Is broadband also offline?

6. Several monkeys peeped at a man taking a bath. Suddenly a monkey laughed and fell down the tree. He asked why he laughed and said that human beings are strange. Their tails are so short. Fortunately, they put them in front of me, killing me.

7. Spiders compete to spin webs. The foreign spider weaves a wide web and boasts: broadband! Chinese spiders fly up and down to weave a delicate ornament. Smile: The world is unique, and the Chinese knot!

8. My classmate asked me how many people hoed the grass. I answered, one, that afternoon. She said no, it was three, because the weeding day at noon, sweat and soil.

9. One chance to know you, two times to see you, three times to date you, seven times to miss you, 90% should like you, very sure I love you. After a hundred years of practice, we can meet true love. After a thousand years of practice, we can help you and me. Is everything possible.

10. My friend's face is sallow, his hands are over his stomach, and he is in great pain. Young man: Elder sister, is there a toilet here? Woman: Yes! Young man: How can I get there, please? I can't hold it! Woman: Take a seat from here. Take two stops. Get off and then go

11. I can't eat in the morning because I miss you. I can't eat at noon because I miss you more. I can't eat at night because I miss you crazily. I can't sleep at night because... I'm hungry

12. When my hero was young, there was a girl who was willing to lose her life for me. She said firmly: "If you keep pestering me like this, I will."

13. My sister does makeup. Once she put on makeup for a young lady. After painting the base makeup and eyes, she was going to paint lipstick. The young lady said something that I will never forget: I don't need to paint the mouth. I want to work.

14. The panda loved the deer deeply, but was rejected when expressing his love. Panda roars~Why? Why is all this? The fawn timidly said: My mother said that those who wear sunglasses are bad teenagers

15. Bush saw Osama bin Laden standing in front of his bed in the middle of the night with his hair covered. Bush was shocked and said, "How dare you dare to break into the White House at night!"! Bin Laden shook his chest length beard, smiled darkly, and said, "Elegant, so confident!"!

16. You and I are single winged angels. Only embracing each other can we spread our wings and travel. I came to the world to look for you. After I found you, I found: TMD! Our wings are parallel to each other!

17. I heard that your mobile phone has no SMS function, so I sent this message to test. If you receive and confirm that it has SMS function and it is my SMS, please reply to me: I have it, it is yours!

18. Baby: Recently, my teeth hurt, because I often miss you at night. It feels too sweet, and my teeth will decay.

19. "Old Chen, I heard that your fireworks factory just deducted your salary?" "Shit! Last time when I was loading explosives, I was blown up in the air, but the leader said that I had not worked in the air for six seconds!"

20. Bush saw Osama bin Laden standing in front of his bed in the middle of the night with his hair covered. Bush was shocked and said, "How dare you dare to break into the White House at night!"! Bin Laden shook his chest length beard

21. One day the hen flew on the roof, and the master said angrily that if you don't come down, I will kill all the roosters here, making you feel worse than death. The hen laughed and said yes, ha ha, finally she could find the duck.

22. A fighter jet roared across the sky. The bird was surprised when it saw it. Bird: Mom, why does that bird fly so fast? Mother Bird: Try putting a fire on your butt!

23. The next time I was chatting while eating in the canteen, I suddenly found that I had dropped a piece of rice outside. I secretly felt that I was sorry for wasting food, so I picked it up and ate it. But later I found that the rice was not mine

24. Two people complain that the subway in Japan is too crowded. A: Actually, it is too crowded! My wife miscarried when she was pregnant last month. B: You are good. My wife is so crowded that she is pregnant.

25 yuan. Please sell children and women, rice, blood, houses and land, and lovers in the near future. Henan Mobile will kowtow to you.

26. The fat woman went to buy jewelry, chose it and put it on her hand and asked, "Do I buy this luminous bracelet?"? Attendant: This is not a bracelet, but it is luminous. Fat woman: What is that? Attendant: Glow Hula hoop.

27. Don't panic when you meet a dog on the road. You should bravely fight with it. There are at most three results: first, you win, and you are more powerful than the dog; Second, if you lose, you are inferior to a dog; Third, you are even. You are like a dog.

28. Do you know why we are destined? As early as a thousand years ago, we knew each other. It was autumn. You ran with me in the wind and left tooth marks on me. This has become a legend for thousands of years. At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin.

29. Pigs can't speak. They can only snort. Just like some girls, they always say: Hum!

30. The female colleague complained in front of the computer: "It's been several days. Why haven't you come yet? It's really annoying?" A colleague suddenly answered: "Don't scare me. Isn't that the safety period?" "I mean express delivery." "Oh." Now the air in the office is a little quiet.