1、 One day someone asked me how I was born. Without hesitation, I said to the man, have you read the Journey to the West?
2、 The most painful thing in life is that I didn't see the rainbow after experiencing the wind and rain. What's more painful is that I also caught a cold.
3、 Life is like a big aunt, who teaches you a lesson from time to time. Only when you understand what life is like.
4、 There are countless possibilities of hardship in your tomorrow, and countless possibilities of hardship in your today!
5、 Many people say that marriage is the tomb of love, but love that can be buried in peace is better than the street.
6、 I'm thinking that I've become smart thanks to my good fortune. Next, do you want to use beauty tricks to kill me.
7、 I once hit a building by bike! The building was knocked off by me, and I was knocked off two big front teeth by the building!
8、 Time and marriage will make a man mature, but time is slow to boil, and marriage is fast to stir.
9、 Whenever adults praise my quietness, I would like to open my mouth and laugh at you ignorant human beings.
10、 After graduation, I lost books on the fifth floor, cheered on the fourth floor, watched the excitement on the third floor and the second floor, and collected materials from the seventh grade on the first floor.
11、 As soon as my eyes closed and opened, the day passed. Once you close your eyes, you never open them again.
12、 You should be thankful that everything in the world is fake, even the contraceptives are fake, otherwise you would not grow so big!
13、 Alas, it's the season of stockings! His back was so worried that he suddenly looked back and scared away millions of lions!
14、 Learn to be a tough girl. Don't be pretentious, pretentious, cutesy or cowardly. How can you live with pride!
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16、 I went to assassinate Sogou. Sogou cried and asked me why. I said with a sly smile: You can ask Baidu in the underworld.
17、 Growing up means you know what it is. Maturity means you deliberately say you don't know when you know it.
18、 For men, the upper body is cultivation, and the lower body is essence; Women, the upper body is bait, the lower body is trap.
19、 Someone just sat next to me, and I used to slap my backhand. How can I really press my invisible wings.
20、 If Spider Man is in China, the spider silk he launches will pick out a large piece of wall skin, and then fall to death gorgeous.
21、 If the leader doesn't give me a raise next month, I will resign. Before I resign, I will give him two pieces of Chinese and beat him to death.
22、 Is daughter-in-law important or game important? Of course, the daughter-in-law is important, so I only dare to play games, not daughter-in-law.
23、 Now boys are too bad. They are whiter than girls, taller than girls, prettier than girls, and compete with girls for boyfriends!
24、 If you are ugly, you should study hard. Don't be useless like me. You can only eat and drink by virtue of your handsome appearance.
25、 The sunrise in the East China Sea and the sunset in the West Mountain will lead to sorrow and joy; If you don't dig into the horns of an ox when encountering an accident, you will feel comfortable.
26、 Someone told me that there is nothing more complicated than love in the world. I fell a math book on his face.
27、 Acacia sleepy little, secret love heart is not old; Flirting solves troubles, and spending time to train the brain; The heart of cheating is good. Picking up girls is anti-aging.
28、 The most tiring thing in the world is to watch my heart break and stick it up with my own hands.
29、 Hey son, let me tell you an interesting story. A long time ago, your dog was hit and killed by a truck this morning.
30、 If you feel lonely, turn off the light and play a film. After a while, you will feel that you are not alone.
31、 When you work fast, you say you love performance; You are too lazy when you work slowly; If you don't work fast or slow, you should also say that you are not active.
32、 When the results of the college entrance examination came out, the teacher took a long breath and said to me: In fact, it is a kind of happiness for you and the university not to pass the examination.
33、 Those who have not yet done their summer homework can certainly achieve great things in the future, because they are calmer than ordinary people.
34、 In order to live up to today's fine weather, I came to the basketball court and played basketball very much. I really picked up a lot of mineral water bottles.
35、 In the morning, I joined a group and hooked up with the group leader for a long time. Finally, I was given a caretaker, and I kicked all the people in the group decisively.
36、 Never compete with a dog, won? You are more dog than dog. Lost? You are inferior to dogs. A draw? You are no different from a dog.
37、 It doesn't matter. You walk alone with a sharp wind and a proud look. Look, why do you fear loneliness when you walk with wind.
38、 Hang up the phone properly, say good night in time, and end the chat quickly, to reduce the lingering and hopeless dependence.
39、 Work as a QQ, refuse to chat. If you want to talk hard, you will be charged 50 cents, punctuation marks, half price, 30% off monthly card, and double at night.
40、 It is not easy to hear silver bell like laughter these days. Most of them are mischievous and bitter laughter. Some people laugh more ugly than crying.
41、 They say that you are like fog, wind and cloud, but you are not human. If a woman is as cheap as you, she will be a real success.
42、 This life is not long, although she may not accompany you to the end of the person, but she at least accompanied you through a section of the road you have never walked!
43、 I want to wake up one day and open my eyes and find myself sitting on the desk chair in the primary school classroom. The head of the chalk thrown by the teacher hit his forehead.
44、 A girl shouts her motherland in the face of beautiful mountains and rivers! My mother! A boy who secretly loves her shouts out his motherland! My mother-in-law.
45、 The validity period of the pill is three years, and the validity period of the condom is five years. Many times, love has expired before the medicine and condom have expired.
46、 The iPhone is thinner, the iPad is thinner, Oreo is thinner, and even the feelings are thinner. Homework, when will you become thinner.
47、 The most traditional way of snowball fights in Northeast China is to go there one by one, knock down one by one, and then a group of people will appear and bury the person.
48、 When I took a taxi, I found that the driver had made a detour in the middle of the journey, and I burst into tears. Maybe he is the only person in the world who wants to stay with me longer.
49、 I would rather be single than casually talk about feelings, because I don't want to use up my best self when I meet better people.
50、 Is this child illiterate? A conscious substance should know what I mean. Do you not know how to ask, or do you pretend to understand?
51. Never expect anyone to be morally clean, because every soul in the world is pockmarked, and no one can see it if they get too close.
52. For the same bottle of drink, it costs 2 yuan in the convenience store and 60 yuan in the five-star hotel. In many cases, a person's value depends on his location.
53. If you give me a smile, I will give you a smile. I want you to know: "I smile better than you"
54. In fact, I don't understand what it means to be just right. I just don't want to disappoint anyone and be disappointed. When I should embrace, I should not step back. When I should smile, I would never cry.
55. When I hate a person, if the person suddenly says that he likes me, then I don't hate the other person at all. I can't hate a person with vision.
56. I am a single. I am shameful. I waste paper for the country. I like you who were plump at the beginning. Why are you so thin now? How can I feel! My wallet!
57. We are trying so hard to make money so that we can use the words "I have money" to stop everyone's mouth.
58. I separated from my girlfriend. In fact, our sexual life is quite harmonious - I am impotent, she is frigid
59. The greatest sorrow of a person is to walk on the road in confusion and not see the hope ahead. The worst habit of a person is to live in the present without knowing the direction of tomorrow.
60. Being single is understanding, falling in love is a mistake, breaking up is awareness, marriage is a mistake, divorce is disillusionment, remarriage is obsession, no lover is waste, and more lovers are animals.
61. A generous and kind-hearted person becomes a devil when he reads a errand, while a person who does nothing but put down his butcher's knife can become a Buddha immediately. It turns out that kindness has become a sin in this world.
62. When you left me silently, I was in great pain. I didn't know what to do. Watching your back go away, I hated myself. It was all my fault... I got up early and caught the bus.
63. Except for one item, the rest of the columns are filled very well. The column of "relationship" should be filled with "mother-in-law" instead of "tension"
64. I don't want to talk with people now. It's usually "having dinner" and "I'll take a bath later". It's not as cool as primary school
65. Life is like a glass of boiled water. You drink it every day. Don't envy others for their colorful drinks. In fact, it may not be your boiled water to quench your thirst. Life does not depend on the mood, but on the attitude to live. Adjust your mind and look at life. There is sunshine everywhere.
66. Life is always changing. There are always so many disappointments and frustrations. As long as you stick to your ideals, you will not be defeated. No matter how big the storm is, we cannot stop our way forward. Persistence is victory. No matter what, you will not admit defeat.
