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2. You said to me that you know 80% of the people in this city. I asked for a long time, but 99% don't know you!
3. Last night, I had a dream that you fell into a stinking cesspool, and after climbing up, you said, "It's a good time, even the cesspool is fragrant.".
4. When did you become a WCEO? Don't say a word! What, I don't know what WCEO is? Alas, WCEO is the CEO of toilet!
5. You lean on me gently, touch my tender skin with your slender hands, suck my body fluid with your gentle mouth, and leave with satisfaction! Oh, damn mosquitoes!
6. Your face is more beautiful than Chen Shimei, your eyes are brighter than Zhuge Liang, my love is deeper than Lu Zhishen, my love is longer than Guan Yunchang, but my promise is more empty than Sun Wukong.
7. There is a tacit understanding called tacit understanding, a feeling called wonderful, a yearning called eager to see through, and an idiot who will read the message.
8. One of the most typical jokes of April Fool's Day: throw the wallet tied with string on the street, pull the string in the dark, and once someone picks up the wallet, suddenly pull it away!
9. I am a lonely tree, standing on the roadside for thousands of years, waiting lonely, just for one day when you pass by me, you will fall for you. If you can't beat you, you will live in vain!
10. I am 20 years old, everyone loves me, flowers blossom, and the car has a flat tire! The upper knows astronomy and geography, and the lower knows nothing. Every time we go out, we often lead beautiful women to turn around and handsome men to jump off buildings!
11. Because of thirst, God created water; Because of darkness, God created fire; Because I need friends, so God let you come to me, so God lost the bucket of food!
12. Want to see the sea with you, but the future is too unpredictable; Want to climb the mountain with you, but the front is too confused; If I want to wander with you, I can't reach the happy heaven; When I want to go shopping with you, I say no dogs.
13. No matter how skillful you are, you are afraid of kitchen knives; If you are more intelligent, you can stack them up. Go your own way and let others take a taxi. Wear other people's shoes and let them find them! Let me bless you and let others envy you!
14. I know that you should wash your hands carefully after going to the toilet every time. Suddenly, you didn't wash your hands. I was surprised: Why didn't you wash your hands? You replied: I brought paper this time!
15. When my poor colleagues fell, you were beside me; When I get sick and hurt, you are beside me; When I am frustrated in love, you are beside me. It's really unlucky to be with you!
16. It is true gold, never afraid of fierce flames; Is the pine, never afraid of the long cold; Haiyan is never afraid of the lightning that breaks the sky; Is a fool, still staring at the SMS silly look!
17. The cricket and the bear bet that you can't see me jumping into the grass. The bear doesn't believe me. The cricket jumps into the grass, and the bear is watching. Why is the bear still watching? Bear like! Stop looking!
18. Want to be a boss, penniless, no money; Want to be a high-ranking official, with low birth and limited background; If you want to be a scholar, you drop out of school in your early years, and your culture is too shallow; If you want to win the grand prize, the probability is too small and your financial fortune is lost.
19. Three major events in your life: my favor for you is like Pleasant Goat for cabbage; My dependence on you is like pants to belts; My trust in you is just like Tang Seng's trust in Pig Bajie!
20. Baby, you are the sun in my heart, the moon in front of me, the fragrance of flowers under my nose, the breeze beside my ears, the clouds above my head, and the spring behind me. It's a pity that I accidentally stepped on you, Grasshopper Xiaoqiang!
21. I bet a pig that I can use a mobile phone to block my body and make it invisible. Pig didn't believe me, so I blocked it. The pig is watching, the pig is watching, and the pig is watching all the time! What are you looking at!
22. Having been your friend for so long, you have always cared about me, but I often cause you trouble. I really don't know how to convince you. Therefore, in the next life, if you are a cow or a horse, I will pluck grass for you to eat.
23. Not every flower can represent love, but roses do; Not every kind of tree can stand thirst, but poplar can; Not every pig can receive SMS, but you can do it.
24. Alas, most people nowadays use keyboards instead of pens. In fact, when typing with keyboards, there will be a strange thing. If you don't believe in typing, you will see a pig's hand on your keyboard!
25. I dreamed of you last night! You swam in the 100 degree boiling water. I was very worried and asked you to come out quickly, but you slowly smiled back at me and said: Never mind, dead pigs are not afraid of boiling water.
26. I talked with my friends because you quarreled with them and almost started to fight, because some of them said you looked like a monkey, and some said you looked like an orangutan, which was too much! I didn't treat you like a pig!
27. I dreamed of you. You made a dress with white clouds, borrowed wings from a bird, inserted a broom behind it, and then flew to me like a sword. Tell me affectionately, do you know? Birdman is just like this.
28. People all say that money is the source of all evils. I believe you are noble and don't like money. Please leave these sources of evils here; The world says that love is the source of suffering. For your happiness, give me all the beautiful women.
29. Cocks and hens are husband and wife. They are busy hatching chickens all day long. The chicken has a brain problem. It doesn't eat, drink or rest. The cock and the hen are anxious and hide to watch the chicks. The silly chicken didn't notice and was secretly looking at the mobile phone.
30. It is reported that the Iraqi armed forces hung your jade photos on the wall of Baghdad recently, causing a large number of American soldiers to vomit and die. After the UN investigation and evidence collection, it is confirmed that this is a weapon of mass destruction. Please run away.
31. I saw you that day, in the supermarket! You quietly put your hand on the barcode scanner, and the screen shows: Pig hoof 8 yuan. You think the machine is broken, so you can look over your face and see that the screen shows pig's head is 5 yuan!
32. It was said that we would come to the Zodiac Festival on April 1! The mice, cattle, tigers, rabbits, dragons, snakes, horses, sheep, monkeys, chickens and dogs are all here. They asked me to send a message to ask if you were coming or not?
33. From a distance, you are a shy girl smiling in the wind, but from a closer look, it turns out that the old monster with white bones is playing tricks; From a distance, you are a handsome man with elegant demeanor, but from a closer look, it turns out that Bajie's lust is unbearable; Don't scare me to sleep!
34. There have been three words hidden in my heart to say to you. There has been a word in my stomach to say to you. There has been a word in my mind to say to you. May the radio waves reach your ears: Little white pig!
35. You often said that I could do anything, but when I saw your girlfriend that day, you stabbed me twice. You often said that you could empty my wallet for me, but when your girlfriend said that she was short of money that day, you stole my wallet!
36. Driving to dinner with colleagues, I had no parking space and had to stop at the roadside. I was worried about whether I would be stuck with a ticket? Friend: Nothing! Then he took out a ticket and stuck it on the window. It was really safe.
37. I can't believe it. It's also called "play with you". My nickname is silly. You are not comfortable with your foreign name. Today's text message has no other purpose. I just want to check whether you have turned on your phone. By the way, I want to tell you: Happy April Fool's Day!
38. Are you poor? Is it? Are you still worried about money? Tell you a secret of getting rich! That's -- buy a lottery ticket! There is also a secret to double your chances of winning the lottery! That's -- buy two lottery tickets!
39. Since I saw you, the Nile has stopped growing, the Rhine has stopped being romantic, the Don has stopped being quiet, the Volga River no longer needs trackers, and the Yangtze River no longer flows eastward. You are the green boat in the desert, camel.
40. A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver; The boy who doesn't want to return information is not a good goose. The grass that wants to grow into a big tree is not good grass: the boy who wants to return information is not a good bird! You can do it yourself!
41. Where have you been? I can't get through to you on the phone. I'm really worried. You know, recently pigs across the country suffered from influenza, but now they can get vaccinations for free, but you ran away. When can I come back for vaccination!
42. Buddy, I've been doing well recently! Last time, the municipal committee heard that you attended, and the mayor also met with you personally. I heard that he came to you affectionately, smiled broadly, patted you on the shoulder and said politely: You, go out!
43. Life is like a game machine. After passing one level, there are other levels, and each level is more difficult than the other! Life is like a game machine, you can choose people, but you can't jump off; Life is like a game machine. It seems similar every day, but it is not the same.
44. Seeing you is the beginning of my heart beat; Falling in love with you is my happy choice; Owning you is my most precious treasure; Walking on the red carpet is my biggest dream. Unfortunately... I sent it to the wrong person!
45. People say that he will reply to anyone who sends a text message in the middle of the night, and he will always remember you. I want to know whether this is true, so I sent it to you. In addition, I remind you not to forget to go to the toilet!
46. An extremely ugly orangutan came to the zoo. Tourists didn't stop vomiting when they saw him. The first day I went to see him, I vomited. The next day you went to see him vomit. I wondered why there was such a big gap between people!
47. The sun is warm and the breeze is gentle outside. I can't help thinking of you again. You are so special and attractive. Wherever you go, you will turn around almost 100%. Have you gone out naked again? Happy April Fool's Day!
48. It's not a sin for girls to eat and eat. The fattest people have the right to gain weight. Behind the slim people, they are actually haggard. People who love you will not care about your waist circumference. They will taste the taste of food that has been away for a long time. Even if they die, it is also a kind of beauty.
49. I was shocked when I saw the model of mobile phone you were using on the Internet yesterday, and just wanted to inform you that it did not work for people with an IQ less than 50. I was relieved. Don't worry about it, just keep using it!
50. It's autumn. Ants are in love, mosquitoes are married, flies are pregnant, even cockroaches are born, mice are going to have lovers, foxes are going to divorce, elephants were punished for whoring yesterday. What's your situation?
51. The green one is called watermelon, the yellow one is called pumpkin, the white one is called pear melon, the long one is loofah, the bitter one is called balsam pear, the sweet one is called melon, the one who reads a text message is called fool, and the one who laughs after reading it is a big fool.
52. God gave me a treasure basin. It will change as I think. I accidentally thought of you once, and it changed into a you. I can't help thinking that it will not change. In the end, the room is full of you, and I am worried! How can I feed so many piglets?
53. When Chang'e turns around, Tianpeng turns into Bajie, Tang Monk turns around, the Great Sage turns into Wukong, Guanyin turns around, the prince turns into a white horse, and you turn around, the prince turns into a frog. Summer is coming. If you want to attract mosquitoes, turn around, beauty.
54. When a man walked through the cemetery in the middle of the night, he heard the sound of knocking. The more he listened, the more afraid he became. Finally, he saw a man carving a tombstone. He said to the other side with a sigh of relief: almost scared me to death! What are you doing? Answer: They carved my name wrong, I changed it!
55. SMS anti pornography notice: Don't mention cucumbers, because the name is yellow and the appearance is obscene; Don't mention bananas, because the color is yellow and the appearance is obscene; No lyricism, such as the reappearance of man's nature and woman's nature, mobile phones are forced to be disabled!
56. Understanding a person needs to be observed from many angles, like you. From the bottom, it looks like a neurotic, from the side, it looks like a twenty-five, from the angle of 30 degrees, it looks like an idiot, and from the angle of 60 degrees, it looks like a pig's head. Look, I know more about you.
57. You are very creative, and living is your courage; Ugliness is not your intention, but God lost his temper; You can't abandon yourself and live bravely! You need to know one thing: without you, who can set off the beauty of ugliness?
58. If you eat too much, you will fart. If the wind blows, you will have a runny nose. If you eat Yali, you will suffer from dysentery. Your biggest wish is to get a wife. If you want me to help you keep secret, send me a message as soon as possible. Blessing is the prerequisite, otherwise everyone will know you and not return the information!
59. When I am rich, I will not resign. I am late and leave early every day, and I have to wear shorts, vests and slippers to work. Let them do it at will! I also want to buy two BMWs, one for driving and one for escort. I ride my bike in the middle with you!
60. Lei Feng said: It is not difficult for a person to do a good thing, but it is difficult to do good things all his life and not do bad things; Although you are not as great as Lei Feng and have been doing good things all your life, you have been doing stupid things all your life. You still have perseverance!
61. You have recently become rich, promoted, and connected to the happiness client! Have you smoked cigarettes and drunk red wine and gained fame and glory? Buy a new car, buy a new house, and marry a beautiful woman. Wake up, get to work soon!
62. The person I love, the famous flower has its owner, the person who loves me, is miserable. It is either learning bad in romance or being abnormal in silence. The sea is full of water, hell, ghosts, turtles, four legs, pigs reading messages, grinning.
63. Just now, I talked with my friends about you. Do you know? I quarreled with them and almost started to fight, because some of them said you looked like a monkey, and some said you looked like an orangutan, which was too much! I didn't treat you like a pig!
64. Urgent notice: The frog has entered the hole, the squirrel has entered the tree hole, the old snake is stiff and motionless, the hamster loses pain, the hedgehog's eyelids become heavy, the panda's hair becomes heavy... You are missing now, hurry up and join the collective hibernation campaign!
65. In order to confirm your position in memory, please leave your smile; In order to find your direction in the vast crowd, please leave your feet—— How big and clear the savage footprints are! They are worth studying!
66. According to astronomers recently, there is a very exotic creature that will destroy human beings in the future. From now on, as long as you shout to the sky a hundred times a day, "I am not a man, but a pig", you will be spared.
67. It's wonderful to kiss you once. Kissing you twice is like a fairy. Kiss you three times and get warm. Kiss you four times and I will go to heaven. The last kiss darkened the sky and the earth. dear. I really can't leave you - Erguotou; Good wine!
68. When you are lonely and empty, a pencil may be your best plaything. You can use a knife to cut it, cut it, cut it, and vent yourself at the same time, shouting: "I killed the pen, I killed the pen, I killed the pen!"
69. Recently, I became obsessed with stealing, which has brought infinite excitement to my life. When I saw the house full of things that I got for nothing, I felt a sense of achievement! Join us, friend! Come with me to "steal vegetables"
70. Smiling is a good thing. Smiling at ten people in a day will make you very happy. Smiling at fifteen people will make you very happy. If you keep smiling all day, others may... think you are crazy!
71. The Northern Hemisphere has experienced a rare high temperature for a hundred years. Now we are urgently calling for a group of beautiful women to artificially cool down in the disaster area. The requirements are as follows: speak coldly, beautiful "frozen" people, be ruthless to the end, and those who carry cool genes are preferred. Please prepare as soon as you receive this message.
72. This is an old legend: at 12:00 midnight, pick up the phone, press 12 zeros, and you will hear...... You. Dial. Of. Electricity. Words. Yes. Empty. number.
73. It scared me to death! I dreamt that a big monster almost ate you... But then it vomited you out again. When I left, I said: Pay attention to eating in the future. If you eat it, you will have diarrhea.
74. No salary increase, no promotion, even the year-end bonus has been canceled, and I plan to drown my sorrows in alcohol. Someone brought a bottle of wine. As soon as everyone saw the name of the wine, tears began to fall down. Others immediately cried with their heads folded. The name of the wine is Laobaigan.
75. You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am worried because you are thin, I am thin because you are sick, I smile because you are strong, I am rich because I sold you...... Pig!
76. Hello, my name is Xiao Qian. There is my money under the mattress of your bed. If you don't believe me, open it and have a look. The money is yellow and round, with a square in the center. Take the money out and keep it. I sent it to you. If you aim your eyes at the square space, you can still see me smiling at you.
77. In the morning, Tang Monk woke up from his dream and found Monkey King kneeling in front of his bed. He asked, "Monkey King, what's wrong with you
78. What's the matter? After your phone rang just now, I heard: "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is running naked, please dial later." I can't believe it. "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed has left the service area, please dial again later."
79. April Fool's Day is coming. In order to have fun with you, I "Fool" will send you this message with infinite folly. I hope you can be a happy "happy" person: you are capable of being stupid, and you are worthy of being stupid; Life is like fools getting water.
80. In the bank, a beautiful woman asked me: "Is it right to save money?" "Hmm!" "I just want to withdraw money. Anyway, if you want to deposit money, you give it to me, and we don't have to queue up." I thought it was reasonable, so I gave it to her!
81. The first day I left you, yes. Yes. The day after you leave, yes. Miss you. Miss you. The third day away from you, yes. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. The fourth day away from you, yes. I think you are... I think you are... I think you are... I think you misunderstood?
