"On that day, I was twenty-one years old. In the golden age of my life, I had many extravagant hopes: I wanted to love, eat, and become a half bright cloud in the sky in an instant. Later, I learned that life is a slow process of being hammered. As people grow older, their extravagant hopes disappear day by day, and finally become like cattle being hammered. But I didn't foresee this when I celebrated my twenty-first birthday. I felt that I would never die, and nothing could beat me. "

All things became indifferent in the golden age, just as humorous and absurd as emotion and sexual intercourse. Looking at this era coldly. Just like Wang Xiaobo's writing, he is indifferent to the times and enthusiastic about his own spiritual world. This is the golden age of spirit. But it is absurd to observe calmly and live like him. It doesn't matter what is not the whole spirit. Nothing can occupy the thoughts of Wang Er in the golden age for a long time, even emotion and sexual intercourse. We have never experienced that era, nor felt the real depression. We also calmly look at this golden age, just like Wang Er. That era is far away from us. Some people would like to let the whole mankind forget it. However, history, like Wang Er, has seen everything and clearly seen the absurdity of the world.

It seems that oppression has always been inseparable from this nation, from the past to the present. We take scars and anger seriously, with hatred and blood around our mouths, so we are trapped in our own ideas. In my golden age, I was also volatile. I was very tired and overactive, both mentally and physically. Angry thoughts often appear in my mind, because I can say what I think about certain things, and when I speak frankly, all kinds of dissatisfaction arise. However, after calming down, I felt very childish and excited. So, during my back and forth thinking and repetition, countless propositions were set up, pushed down, stood up again, pushed down again. I think this is the process of being hammered. It is my own reflection on myself. I will no longer remain angry and stay underground. I accepted the world in my golden age.

I have gradually become Chen Qingyang, and I am resigned. Because the cost of being Wang Er is very high, it takes a lot of energy and perseverance to be a person who is out of tune with the society, just like a water in a waterfall, which is bound to go down the mountain when the big event is approaching, but he still refuses to accept it, and finally condenses into an ice crystal, but the waterfall still flows down the mountain, and the ice crystal can't change anything.

The biggest disadvantage of compromise is that compromise cannot be thorough and will always be awakened inexplicably by inner instinct. oh Then I became Wang Er again, so in my golden age, I was always wandering on the edge of struggle, trying to be my own, and also following the world. I think this is everyone's common sorrow. It burns out gradually in anger. When I look back at all these things at the final moment, I know that everything is absurd, including this time.