Children in the rebellious period are very difficult to discipline, because children at this stage do not eat hard or soft food. If parents' education methods are improper, it will not only aggravate their rebellious psychology, but also create estrangement between parents and children, leading to more and more estrangement between parents and children.
How parents educate rebellious children
1. Face up to the child's rebellion. Children's rebellion often happens in middle school, so parents should not be too anxious. People are generally unable to think rationally when they are anxious and flustered.
2. Change "education" into "listening". For a long time, parents always try their best to educate their children, hoping to pass on their own experience to their children so that they can avoid detours. However, for children in the rebellious period, parents need to listen carefully to their children's ideas, so that they can really enter their children's inner world, and understand the reasons for their thoughts and actions.
3. Parents should learn to let go. Entering adolescence means that the children's age and thoughts have been maturing. As parents, we should leave space for children to make decisions and do things independently. You should know that adolescent children are no longer young, and they can complete many things independently, such as going out and playing alone, dealing with setbacks independently, and so on.
4. Understand the child's inner world. There are many reasons for children's rebellion, which may be the bad family environment, or the excessive pressure of learning, etc. Therefore, as parents, we should first understand the children's inner world, their sources of pressure and emotional needs. Only in this way can we guide them better and help them get rid of rebellious feelings.
5. Keep testing. When parents discipline their children, they should always change their ways. When children are young, they usually just talk to their parents and listen to their children. After high school, you should try two-way communication and listen to the children's suggestions. Once a certain method is found to be impractical, the method should be changed at any time and tested continuously until an effective method is found.
6. Pay attention to the harmony of the family atmosphere. When the child enters the age of rebellion, it is also the time when the harmonious atmosphere of the family is broken. The two sides are always opposite. The parents still want to control the child as before. When the child wants to try to jump out of the parental preaching, even to a serious extent, the child will have the mentality of running away from home and not going home.
To educate rebellious children, parents need to avoid
1. Peek into children's privacy. At this stage of adolescence, children want to be independent and won't share everything with their parents. But at this stage, some parents have taken some wrong methods to understand their children, such as reading their children's diaries, understanding their children's friends, tracking their children, and so on. As a result, the parent-child relationship has become very poor, children no longer trust their parents, and the parent-child relationship has also appeared cracks.
2. Too much interference in children's affairs. During the rebellious period, children will be very disgusted and bored with their parents' interference, so many children will confront their parents. When parents discipline their children hard, they will lead to fierce resistance and more serious rebellious behavior.
Tips for disciplining rebellious children
1. Control emotions. Many parents teach their children during the rebellious period, and they often beat and scold them when they don't agree with them, which can only have the opposite effect. The children at this stage are angry, so parents must control their own temper, or they must be a little angry. Parents can patiently listen to the child's complaints, and then talk to the child after he has finished speaking.
2. Decentralization. The child in the rebellious period yearns for freedom and independence. At this time, he has strong opinions, so parents can delegate power as appropriate to let the child exercise more rights. However, it should be noted that the delegated authority must be within its own control.
3. Listen carefully and recognize children. In the process of listening, we should give timely feedback, recognize the child's performance, encourage him to continue to express, and let the child feel that you are listening to him carefully, rather than perfunctory. Children who feel sincere and recognized will also give back the same sincerity and recognition, and will face the bad mood during the rebellious period with a more positive attitude.