Xiao Li, a beautiful female employee of the company, is 30 years old, married for 6 years, and has a son of one or two years old. Since 2000, she has been worried about blushing in front of strange men. Recently, this phenomenon has become more and more serious, so that she can not work normally.
Xiao Li's early environment was defective. As an only child, she began to record bad object impressions in her childhood psychology: her father was eccentric and irritable, often abusing her mother; He is harsh and rude to Xiao Li, often beating or scolding, and forbids her to associate with boys. One day when Xiao Li was in the third grade of junior high school, her father ordered her to kneel down and beat her severely because she went to a classmate's home with a boy for a long time. Speaking of this, Xiao Li was very sad and angry. In her senior high school, her classmates commented on her like this: "You really look like an antique". When she was 20 years old, she fell in love with her college classmate, but her parents looked down on the boy and firmly opposed him. At that time, Xiao Li's mother was suffering from breast cancer. In order not to grieve her mother, Xiao Li ostensibly promised her mother not to get along with that male classmate, but actually fell in love with her boyfriend "underground". She described her feelings in this way: "For a whole year, I seemed to be living a furtive love life, always feeling invisible." From the experience and psychological development of Xiao Li, she now blushes when meeting strange men, just like the feeling of "cheating" with her boyfriend when she first fell in love.
Since ancient times, cheating has meant a relationship between men and women that is not fair and aboveboard, but "unseen". Blushing means that you are embarrassed, shy, or feel guilty afterwards. Xiao Li has a beloved husband and son, a stable working environment, and there has long been no excitement and anxiety when choosing a spouse in adolescence. However, there are still some girls or young women who are excited and flushed when they see idols, which indicates that the inner conflict between her longing for the opposite sex and her taboo in childhood and adolescence has always been suppressed in her subconscious and has been deeply affecting her. When she is a charming young woman, some male characteristics will activate the conflict between her early heterosexual attraction and taboo. After marriage, she first felt nervous about meeting a strange man when she met a handsome tall middle-aged man. This tension made her wonder "Am I very bad?". Later, seeing men was not only nervous, but also blushed. In fact, Xiao Li's tension in front of handsome and tall men for the first time is a strong reflection of her Oedipus complex. The bad father object in the early attachment relationship left her unsatisfied Oedipus complex needs, and her desire to seek security, strength and warmth of fatherly love has always been in her heart. The tall and handsome men are the symbols of security, strength and warmth in the father's love. All human desires mean "hope in hunger". People who have been thirsty for a long time are as excited when they see rain as when they meet sweet springs in the desert. Xiao Li's desire for the power of love and emotional impulse was inspired by men with this temperament. But her desire has already been given the meaning of "not good, not allowed". Therefore, impulses can only be controlled. Blushing is the result of her control of her desire for love - a symbolic superficial symptom. This result, in addition to the earlier analysis of the conflict between attraction and taboo of the opposite sex, also has the moral shame when blushing, which is the self punishment of her idea of "I'm bad?". In fact, it is normal for a married person to be attracted to an attractive opposite sex. Since others are unaware of it, there will be no embarrassment or embarrassment. But if this feeling is expressed because of blushing, it is like the inner monologue of "there is no silver here", and she or he will be extremely upset. The actual meaning of Xiao Li's blushing phenomenon added to her idea is: "I am a man with a husband and children. How can I blush when I see a man? What an immoral and shameful thing!" Therefore, she is afraid that others will see his shame when they see her blushing. Blushing aggravated her inner pain.
Those who fall into similar pain, because they focus on how to control blushing (or other symptoms), their psychological activities are always struggling with blushing. As a result, instead of being "calm", their faces are becoming more and more red, forming a vicious circle of compulsion. Psychoanalysis can establish a new therapeutic relationship between analysts and clients through object relationship psychotherapy. Through this relationship, the client can return to the early object attachment relationship, experience the early loss, depression, and desire, and experience the emotion of desire in the reshaped object relationship (that is, therapeutic relationship). Through analysis and treatment, this paper reveals the causes of the conflict between the love emotion and taboo of the visitors, and explains what forces influence the suppression and negation of their wishes. So as to help the visitor introduce the repressed desire to the level of rational consciousness, so that she can admit and accept that she is a person with a certain desire or desire, a person who can communicate and share what she feels, thinks, sees and hears with others. The analysis should also face up to the feelings of love unethically, and understand the moral orientation of taboos. In order to eliminate the compulsive resistance shown by the blushing behavior of the visitors, we should combine behavioral therapy to correct the compulsive resistance, accept the attitude of "conforming to nature", and make the blushing red instead of fighting against it. Secondly, turn the habitual psychological hint "Never blush" into the psychological hint "My face is cold". Because human actions are consistent with the images in the brain evoked by language, even though we don't like the actions, the images evoked by negative language are still the images it negates, so sometimes you say don't do that, and things just want that. The image of blushing aroused by the person afraid of blushing every time he said "Don't blush" is more blushing. Every time a nervous person says "Don't be nervous", the images related to tension are more intense. Therefore, we should develop positive psychological cues such as "cool face" and "I am calm". However, the most important thing for the patient is to improve her personality through analysis and treatment, and cultivate a sense of humor, a little rebellious, publicity and other personality characteristics in her long-term life, which is fundamentally conducive to her ease, calm and ease in interpersonal communication.
