Waiting for Me Case Study: Loving Husband Runs Away from Home without Leaving a Word

In Waiting for Me, which was broadcast on January 26, Zhang Meilan from Yantai, Shandong Province, took her daughter Xiaoyu to the live show of Waiting for Me, hoping to find her husband Wang Junwei who ran away from home in 2011 with the help of the program. After her husband left home, Zhang Meilan alone shouldered the burden of the family and paid off the debts of 80000 yuan for her husband. Not long ago, Wang Junwei's father suffered from kidney cancer, which has developed to an advanced stage. The kind and filial Zhang Meilan hopes to find her husband as soon as possible, to be filial to the elderly, and to avoid the regret that "the son wants to be raised but the relatives don't treat him". When the program team found Wang Junwei, he told the real reason why he ran away from home - the lack of communication between husband and wife made him feel the warmth of the family. On the spot, both the husband and wife reflected on their previous shortcomings and made up. The husband fulfilled his promise many years ago and sent his wife a bouquet of roses. The family finally reunited.

[Safety tips] How to avoid domestic cold violence

Chen Shiqu, a guest of the program, said: "The family is separated because the couple are not good at communication and they use cold domestic violence to deal with the problem, which makes the problem more and more rigid." In fact, cold domestic violence is much more serious than ordinary domestic violence to a certain extent. What should the couple do when encountering cold domestic violence?

1、 What is domestic cold violence? What are the characteristics of domestic cold violence?

1. What is domestic cold violence?

Domestic cold violence is more likely to inflict mental torture on the other party through suggestive threats, verbal attacks, economic and sexual control and other ways. The huge psychological pressure generated in this way will make the other party close to collapse, accompanied by estrangement and distrust of marriage, which will eventually lead to the end of marriage. It is worth noting that when domestic violence is carried out, most men target women. In the case of domestic cold violence, both men and women may become the parties to domestic cold violence. Especially when the man's career is lost and the pressure is high, the woman's cold violence against him is far more harmful than violence.

2. What are the characteristics of domestic cold violence?

be indifferent to; Minimize language communication; Slander, cynicism; Stop or perfunctory sex life; Completely irresponsible for family affairs.

As cold violence is a typical recessive violence with neither blood nor injury, it is easy for the party concerned to use the phrase "we are making a fuss", while ignoring its great physical and mental damage.

2、 The harm of cold domestic violence

Many parents struggle to stay married in order not to hurt their children. Indeed, the rate of psychological problems of children from divorced families is much higher than that of normal families. However, as parents, we should also clearly realize that the continuous cold war will also affect children's mental health. Some children will become very sensitive to the surrounding environment and be extremely alert to the atmosphere at home because they often become victims of the cold war. In the long run, children will become too sensitive, not confident or deliberately welcoming others; Some children learn the way of cold violence from their parents and become very indifferent. They are not as happy or sad as ordinary children, and they are indifferent to others... So when cold domestic violence occurs, the first countermeasure is to solve it and ease it. It is not necessarily the best for children to simply maintain it.

3、 How to avoid domestic cold violence?

1. Couples should learn to care for and manage marriage. In marriage, both husband and wife show their true selves to each other without omission or disguise, and the truth will never be so beautiful. Marriage is like a piece of jade, which needs the care of both husband and wife; We should learn to observe and understand the needs of each other, and care about each other.

2. The husband and wife actively and timely keep their marriage fresh. The husband and wife are the closest people, and they know each other best. Many times, we can find out the minor changes in our feelings in time, but most people don't think so, or they are busy with work and trivia without dealing with this change. It is often said that "the dike of a thousand miles will be destroyed by the ant nest". Therefore, when we realize that the feelings of couples have changed, we should actively respond to them and deal with them in a timely manner to keep the marriage fresh.

3. Enhance the communication between husband and wife with positive communication methods. A very obvious feature of domestic cold violence is that the communication between the two sides is reduced, and they can't say a few words a day, or even say nothing for several days. Both husband and wife are responsible for family harmony. They should warm up each other and learn positive communication methods. When there are contradictions or disagreements, they should learn to communicate actively and honestly on issues to effectively resolve conflicts. Positive communication is not only beneficial to the emotional exchange between husband and wife, but also to the establishment of a harmonious family atmosphere, which is conducive to children's mental health. Moreover, children learn from their parents in their initial social interaction, and positive communication will help children adapt to society better.

4. Change your destructive behavior towards marriage. There are some behaviors that will hurt the marriage, such as knowing that the other party is still trying in the forbidden area, unreasonable words and even personal attacks when quarreling... In marriage, couples should identify what kind of behaviors will damage the feelings of both parties. Let's say goodbye to such destructive behaviors.

5. Ask a psychologist for help. If both husband and wife are willing to change the current situation of cold violence, and have put a lot of efforts, but still can not effectively ease the feelings, they can consider seeking professional help and working with professional family therapy counselors to retrieve the marriage.

6. If necessary, re-examine your marriage to decide whether to continue. Many women will try to recover and compromise again and again because of years of emotional input, but unfortunately they spend their youth on their husbands. But when you try your best, you can no longer warm your husband's heart. When you are physically and mentally exhausted and miserable, perhaps you should re-examine your marriage and rationally decide whether to continue.

[Small Brocade Bag Transforming Cold into Heat]

1. When the two parties do not speak to each other, leave some small stickers in a prominent place at home, and write down the words of caring for warmth to let the other party know that you still think about him.

2. Deliberately add some favorite tastes and dishes to the meals.

3. Help the other party to pack up some items that he may forget or must take in advance, for example, when the other party is going on a business trip.

4. Unconsciously, repeat the small actions and activities that you used to have with the other party, and remind him of them.

5. Start with children's life and education, try to discuss problems with the other party, and let the other party speak.

6. Find some topics that the other party is interested in, listen to his views, try to discuss with him, but avoid excessive arguments.

7. Invite the other party to participate in family group activities related to children.

8. Invite the other party to review the old scenes and feelings on the anniversary or in a place of special significance.

9. The pace of life should be adjusted in time to re-establish a harmonious relationship of mutual respect and trust between husband and wife.

10. If communication between husband and wife is difficult, you can also turn to relatives, friends, colleagues or psychologists.