Case: The child doesn't understand my hard work

My son is 13 years old this year. Since he was a child, I have worked hard for him every day. I have taken care of everything from daily life to learning and coaching, and interest cultivation. However, the child is very indifferent and shows no appreciation for what I have done. I sometimes complain that he does not understand my hard work. Instead, he says impatiently, "It is you who are willing to do things, and it is not I who asked you to do them." I am angry and cold hearted. Why does the child not know how to be grateful? Cheng Cheng Ma

Analysis: create opportunities for children to express love

In real life, many parents, like Cheng Chengma, are confused: Why do I do so much for my children, but the children are not grateful? What should parents do to make their children learn to be grateful?

It is not enough for parents to only love their children. They should also pass on their love to their children in an appropriate way so that their children can truly feel their parents' love. Therefore, parents should establish three concepts. First, it is happy to pay for children. We should work for children with a happy mood, and regard the effort for children as a pleasure. We should convey such a message to our children: it is happy for parents to work for you. In this way, the child will feel that his parents really love him. On the contrary, if giving is regarded as a kind of hard work, children may feel guilty because they are the burden of their parents, or take their parents' giving for granted and gradually become indifferent. Second, parents' love is unrequited. Although every parent hopes that their children will be grateful for their efforts, if they take this as a condition for asking their children to repay, then love will become a burden, which will not only not lead to children's internal gratitude, but will cause children to rebel and oppose. Third, parents should consider their children's needs and feelings when giving love. In the case, Cheng Chengma has done so much for her children from daily life to learning guidance and interest cultivation, but the children are ungrateful. At this time, Cheng Chengma should reflect on whether what she has done is really needed by her children. Only love that starts from the child's inner needs can the child appreciate you from the bottom of his heart.

Parents should cultivate their children's gratitude and give them opportunities to express their love. Therefore, on the one hand, parents should guide children to express their love, on the other hand, they should give positive responses to children's love, so that children can feel their love is a force in their parents' life. For example, when a child's father celebrates his birthday, his mother can carefully prepare gifts for him together with the child to make a delicious meal, from which the child can learn how to express love. The father was moved by the love of mother and son, showing excitement and joy, which will encourage and confidence the child. In this regard, British educator Charlotte Mason said: "In every child's heart, there is a source of love. Its only thing is to flow, and in the parents' side, we should keep the channels of consideration, friendship, gratitude, filial piety, and dedication open, unblocked, and always flowing forward." How to keep the spring flowing Let children feel the joy created by their love every time. Gratitude should be cultivated in the family from childhood. Because only children who are grateful to their parents can extend this emotion to others and society.