"I haven't contacted my son for more than a month, and my classmates don't know where he has gone. The phone doesn't work, and WeChat doesn't return. For more than a month, I haven't been down every day, and I can't sleep all night. Please help me find the child!" The mother's voice on the phone was anxious and hoarse, and we couldn't help worrying about the foreign students who didn't know where they were at that time, I also understand the worries of parents thousands of miles away. Such family searching calls or door-to-door help seeking often occur in the consular protection and assistance work of the Chinese Consulate General in Dusseldorf.

After the Consulate General contacted the local student federation and searched in many ways, he finally found the student mentioned above. To put it simply, he was depressed and just wanted to hide by himself. Nobody paid attention to him. The person concerned is safe and secure, and we can put down our suspended heart for the time being. But why is he so depressed that he has to hide from his closest family? What can we do to prevent this from happening? This case is typical, and we would like to share some information and thoughts with all foreign students and parents.

　　 Let's first take a look at the reasons for the "loss of connection" of foreign students:

Subjectively, some of the students lack social experience and are not yet mature physically and mentally. In recent years, the trend of studying in Germany at a younger age has become increasingly obvious. Many students live in a relatively simple environment in China, often lacking opportunities and experience to live independently, and lacking the ability to deal with complex problems. After coming to Germany alone, starting with registration, course selection, and housing search, all of us need to do it ourselves, and contact or negotiate with schools, landlords, local immigration bureaus and other aspects. These are indeed not small challenges. Some students are withdrawn and not good at active communication, while others are "rough". Whether they are busy with their studies or adapting to the environment, they do not understand and understand their parents' deep feelings, resulting in lack of communication. In general, foreign students who are poorly prepared, highly dependent and weak in adaptability are more likely to have psychological problems.

Objectively speaking, academic pressure and environmental differences are more likely to induce psychological problems. In the face of intense academic courses, international students are usually "ready to fight" and do not have enough time for transition or adaptation. But the foreign environment, which is obviously different from the domestic environment, often causes various problems and troubles to them. Some students can't keep up with foreign languages, can't understand classes, can't finish homework, can't treat "everything is difficult at the beginning" correctly, and then feel depressed and afraid of class; Some students feel fresh excitement of foreign life, indulging in parties and sightseeing, which delayed their studies over time and caused serious psychological burden.

From the perspective of parent-child relationship, there is a "temperature difference" between some foreign students and their parents. We have learned that many foreign students feel emotionally separated from their parents. The parents on the other side of the phone always ask their children about their daily life and seldom explore their children's psychological dynamics. Some students themselves are somewhat estranged from their parents. After going abroad, they feel they have finally escaped the restrictions and no longer have too much contact with their families. As two generations, it is not difficult to understand that there is a "dimensional wall" in the communication between foreign students and their parents. However, the long-term lack of in-depth thought exchange may lead to serious emotional separation, which may lead to unexpected consequences.

So what can we - the Consulate General, foreign students and parents do?

First, let's talk about the work of the Consulate General.

At present, there are more than 10000 Chinese overseas students studying in North Wales. The Consulate General is very concerned about the personal safety and mental health of overseas students. The Consulate General has carried out targeted work, held lectures for international students on mental health, safe and successful study abroad, and handled emergencies in a timely manner.

Consul General Feng Haiyang Visits Chinese Students Studying in Aachen University of Technology

A series of lectures were held by the China Student Federation in North Wales

We often visit colleges and universities to teach students consular protection knowledge and common sense of security when studying abroad, so as to improve the awareness and ability of international students to protect themselves. We also encourage and support the Chinese Students and Scholars Association (hereinafter referred to as the Association) in colleges and universities around the country to carry out orientation activities, introduce local conditions and various "strategies" to newly enrolled international students, and help them integrate into the new environment as soon as possible; Encourage conditional student federations to carry out voluntary airport pickup services to bring warmth to students who have just come to strange countries; The Student Union is encouraged to carry out various after-school activities according to local conditions, such as the Spring Festival Gala and various sports competitions.

We also contacted Chinese experts and scholars from various universities, Chinese Professional Association in Germany, German Alumni Association of Chinese Universities, etc., to provide local Chinese students with help within our capacity. The door of the Consulate General is always open to students, and students are welcome to use various channels to keep in touch with us.

Secondly, I have a few words to say to my classmates.

1. Cherish the opportunity to study abroad, and truly master the ability to do business and serve the motherland.

2. Abide by local laws and regulations, especially those concerning foreigners, such as visa extension, residence, entry and exit, and those closely related to their own learning and research, such as intellectual property protection, copyright, etc. At the same time, we should understand the local rules in many ways, respect the local customs, and do as the Romans do. In addition to professional study, we should strengthen the understanding and study of German history and cultural traditions. This is particularly necessary for science and engineering students.

3. We should have a certain understanding of German teaching. For example, German universities are more common in "lenient entry and strict exit", and the graduation rate of some majors is even lower than 50%. Don't abandon yourself because of temporary difficulties. Occasionally fail a course, don't blame yourself too much, but pay attention to your own achievements. From practical experience, many German enterprises attach great importance to the total graduation score when hiring personnel, and some companies even ignore candidates with a total evaluation score of less than 2.5.

4. Consciously go out of the "acquaintance circle", actively participate in various academic and cultural activities of the school, cultivate an open and integrated mentality, actively integrate into the local society, and improve the ability to adapt to environmental changes. Don't panic when things are urgent or difficult, remind yourself not to indulge in negative emotions for a long time, and try to solve problems optimistically and rationally. Learn to understand and tolerate, communicate more with domestic relatives and friends, communicate more with teachers and students around, and know how to ask for help in time.

■ Tips

When students encounter difficulties or confusion, don't forget to contact the following people or institutions in time:

Parents, relatives and friends, reliable classmates; Local Chinese Student Union organizations; ASTA organizations in colleges and universities; Chinese scholars and professors in their universities; Of course, there is also the Consulate General.

At the same time, I would like to share a few words with my parents and friends.

First, it is suggested to persist in learning new knowledge. Studying abroad is a challenge for children, but it is also a challenge for parents? In order to make communication more quality, parents should also try to keep pace with the times and understand the world of young people. It is suggested to learn more about the politics, economy, culture, history, education and other basic information of some countries and cities where children live, so as to play a more targeted role in guiding at critical moments.

Second, it is suggested to pay more attention to children's psychological state. On the basis of the basic conditions for food, clothing, housing and transportation, it is suggested that parents pay more attention to whether the children's current schoolwork is progressing smoothly, whether they are facing difficulties in interpersonal relations, and what kind of planning they have for the future, so as to correct the signs of mistakes in time and help children out of their mistakes.

Third, it is suggested to keep calm. Everyone can understand the eagerness of parents to look forward to their children and their daughters. But growth takes time, and setbacks are inevitable. International students are under great pressure to study abroad. I hope parents can correctly treat the gains and losses of studying abroad, maintain a calm mind, and create a relaxed and favorable environment for the smooth growth of children.

"The thread in the mother's hand, the coat on the wandering son's body. When he leaves, he is afraid of coming back late. Who can say" grass heart ", he will get three Chunhui." "When I grow up, I begin to understand why I run faster and fly higher than others... Listen to my mother, don't hurt her; if you want to grow up quickly, you can protect her.". Meng Jiao's "Wandering Son Sings" and Jay Chou's "Listen to Mother" are more than 1200 years apart, but the poems and songs express the same sincere and touching feelings between mother and son. With this poem and this song, I wish the students who stay in Germany to study abroad safely and make achievements, thank their parents, and serve the motherland!