Are you training your daughter to be Lin Huiyin or Lu Xiaoman?
If you travel through time and space and go back to 1910 and see Lin Huiyin and Lu Xiaoman, aged six or seven, who are bright eyed, bright and cute, have such similar family background and education, and are both "rich", you may mistakenly think that they will become similar people.
Lin Huiyin and Lu Xiaoman were almost the same age. Both of their fathers graduated from Waseda University in Japan, and both were famous figures at that time. Lin Huiyin's father, Lin Changmin, once served as the Chief Justice of the Beiyang Government, and was friends with top Niuren such as Liang Qichao, Hu Shi and Xu Zhimo. Lu Ding, Lu Xiaoman's father, is a proud pupil of Japanese Prime Minister Ito Bowen. He served as the Minister of Finance and the Director of Taxation of the Republic of China for many years, and also founded the Reserve Bank of China.
They are all new women, who have received the best education and become dazzling goddesses and celebrities.
Lin Huiyin was able to speak fluent and idiomatic English when she was young. She played the heroine Princess Zidra in the performance of the Indian poet Tagore's poem drama Zidra in the Crescent Society founded by Xu Zhimo and Hu Shi. Her lines were all in English. At the age of 16, her father took her to Europe to broaden her horizons. In the process of "looking at the world", different architectural images and design arts opened her eyes. As a result, architecture has become her lifelong ambition and interest. Later, she studied in the Department of Architecture and Fine Arts at the University of Pennsylvania and Yale University.
Lu Xiaoman has studied all the way in the primary school attached to Beijing Normal University, Beijing Women's Middle School and Sacred Heart Hall. He is proficient in English and French, is good at oil painting and piano, and also studies traditional Chinese painting under masters such as Liu Haisu, Chen Banding and He Tianjian. In order to broaden her horizon, her father sent her to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs for internship, and she talked with celebrities and politicians from all over the world.
Mi Li Ma said here, do you think they are very similar? They have the best education, are proficient in many languages, are talented, and have broad horizons and insights.
Later, Lin Huiyin became a national treasure professor of Tsinghua University, a pioneer of Chinese architecture, and a famous poet and writer. She has a happy marriage, raising children, and her husband and wife act together. They can also walk side by side and help each other in difficult times. For her, love and family are very important, but ideals and pursuit are more important.
Where's Lu Xiaoman? Although she had received good education since childhood, her parents always told her that love and marriage were the most important, and that ideals, beliefs and achievements were just dispensable embellishments. She did not receive a formal college education. She got married at the age of 19 and had many relationships with lovers. After Xu Zhimo died, all her teeth fell off when she was in her 40s. She was as thin as a wood and finally died alone.
Also rich, Lu Xiaoman was trained to be a socialite and talented. She only wants to be a famous lady. She is not willing to make efforts, nor does she seek up and down like Lin Huiyin, with the ideals and beliefs of transforming society, to achieve a better self.
The new generation of parents know that their daughters should be "rich", so what is the real "rich"? Lin Hui had his vision and ideal because he was rich, while Lu Xiaoman was extravagant and arrogant because he was rich; Lin Huiyin has gained real interest and passion, while Lu Xiaoman is pampered and well fed, and his spiritual world is desolate and lonely. Are you training your daughter to be Lin Huiyin or Lu Xiaoman? It seems that there is only a line between the two kinds of "affluence", and this line is the purpose and realm of education.
A few days ago, Mi Li and I had dinner with a couple of old friends. The husband is a partner of a famous listed enterprise. They have just bought a school district house for their son. Mi Li's mother was about to congratulate them, but the woman said that, like the boys in our family, we should give them the best education, the best school district housing, and let them dare to work hard. If you are a girl, you don't need to buy a school district house. No one will dare to buy a girl who is too good in the future. In an ordinary school, I would like to teach her to dress, learn flower arrangement, dance and so on.
Mi Li's mother was stunned and didn't know what to say. She is now pregnant with her second child. I sincerely wish them a boy. If they are girls, I hope they will not be fostered into Lu Xiaoman.
Mi Li's mother's colleague's relative, the chairman of a famous securities company, has only one daughter, who is trained completely as a socialite. She was proficient in English, French, equestrian and ballet since childhood. She has four Filipino servants and a housekeeper at home. Her father often said that he only hated not having a boy, or he would have to send his child to Oxford University, Cambridge University and other famous universities to train him to be the leader of thousands of troops!
When her daughter was 14 years old, her father sent her to England as a young student. After a breakup in love, she began to smoke and drink too much. When she was a sophomore, she dropped out of school and returned home. She felt that if she lost love, she would be nothing or nothing.
Mi Li Ma is really curious. Why can't her father train his own daughter as he trains his son?
Don't just learn the skills of famous ladies like embroidering tea, but tell your daughter from childhood to be a confident and hardworking person, an excellent and brave person, a person who can think independently, and a person who has his own pursuit and ideal. Of course, we should also be happy, happy, and this kind of happiness and happiness, not through attachment to others. When I was young, I told my daughter that we should be the sun in our world, not the moon, because only when we become the sun can we shine.
A middle school classmate of Mi Li Ma, whose father is a successful entrepreneur, has a good family background. She has been trying to cultivate her daughter by the way of "Lin Huiyin" instead of "Lu Xiaoman". Every summer when she was 8 to 12 years old, her father would send her to the United States to participate in business school summer camps to study economics, finance, management, human resources and marketing. At a young age, she learned to cooperate with her peers in the United States. As a young volunteer, she participated in organizing lectures for CEOs (CEOs) of Fortune Global 500, learned to make speeches in English, and made business plans in small books.
Under the pressure of examination oriented education in China, she not only achieved excellent results, but also founded the school newspaper, a literary club with more than 600 members, and a personal painting exhibition. Compared with her, Mi Li Ma is a classic model of dead reading. When we memorized textbook knowledge in senior one and senior two, she borrowed 200000 yuan from her father, just in time to buy a house at a good time with low house price, low down payment and low interest rate, and earned the first bucket of gold in her life when she was in college.
Later, she used such rich experience to knock on the door of America's top business schools. She started her business in her sophomore year and is now a well-known entrepreneur in Silicon Valley with a wealth of over 100 million. She is now the mother of a son and a daughter, happy and beautiful.
When she was in middle school, she told me that her father told her, "You can be anything you want to be.".
What is a real rich daughter?
If I have a daughter, I will tell her that marriage and love are not the only important things. Ideals and careers are important, dreams and pursuits are important, and it is also important to strive to achieve yourself. In this way, she won't mistakenly think that she has got everything when she gets love; When you lose love, you mistakenly think you have lost everything.
If I had a daughter, I would tell her that she could learn flower arrangement and tea art, but also go and logic; You can learn equestrian and ballet, but you can also learn programming and robots. The most important thing is that learning these things is not to become a better wife, but to become a better self.
If I have a daughter, when I tell her the fairy tale "The Daughter of the Sea", I will tell her that to become a better person, to realize her pursuit and life ideal, she must not become a foam in the sea for any man.
