"Liu Mengze, a small bowl of Lanzhou noodles for lunch, not spicy, put more vinegar, and add a sausage. The building manager has my dry cleaned clothes package, number 0058. And my snacks are about to be cleared. Please add something for me, and there are also..."
“……”
Looking at the task list with more than 300 words scattered in the mobile phone text message, I heard the teacher Ma's "lullaby" in cadence. I could not help sighing in the last row of the university classroom! Complain to the mobile phone screen:
"I said, Brother Shangguanxi, I have brought you half a year's food, and the donkey should also give you some food to eat! Can we still play happily together as roommates?"
As soon as I finished speaking, my mobile phone sent out a prompt tone of new news, which was sent by Shangguanxi. It said, "Would you mind not saying such words at the end of every month? What do you want this time? Tell me!"
Faced with such a situation, I am not surprised. On the first few days when I brought food to Shangguanxi, I was a little surprised. After all, my mobile phone did not make calls or press eavesdropping devices. It was amazing that Shangguanxi could hear me just by speaking to my mobile phone? But as time goes by, my curiosity has been diluted. Shangguanxi is a professional computer hacker, so it should not be difficult to do this.
"Hey hey, come on, this time I want to do the limited edition of the first tone manual that was released last month!"
"It's specially prepared for distinguished guests. It has a special number. No, change it."
Shangguanxi's message came quickly, and he refused it simply? It's not so easy. I think it's been more than a month since I first thought about it. Now let me come up with an item that is equivalent to her. I really can't think of it. I was worried that I happened to see several young lovers sitting in the back row and falling in love with me, watching them show their love without fear. Alas... What can I say? I usually keep a distance from them when they slaughter dogs. There is no other reason, just because the lethality is too great, my little suckling dog can't stand it! But at this moment, they gave me an inspiration.
"Well..."
I swallowed a mouthful of saliva, quietly laid my face on the table, almost put my mobile phone in front of my mouth, and then dared to whisper: "Brother, can you introduce me a girlfriend?"
This time Shangguanxi didn't immediately reply to me, but after a few minutes, my mobile phone received an order prompt message, and then Shangguanxi sent a text message.
"I have finished your work, and will sign for it according to the order prompt in three days. That's it. Bye!"
“……”
Looking at the order prompt on the mobile phone, as well as Shangguanxi's short message, the coveted first tone manual operation has been completed in less than five minutes. Why! Why do I suddenly want to cry? There is also a feeling of being sentenced to life imprisonment. This...... Should be my illusion.
After catching my hair for almost two weeks, I haven't washed it. Look at my wrinkled black casual clothes and the 42 size slippers on my feet. How can no girl notice me when I dress up in such a personalized way? In addition to dressing up, I am also very confident about my appearance. Although I didn't wash my face this morning, I am still very handsome! Is there no girl who is conquered by my heroism? If I take another ten thousand steps back, even if I don't notice my appearance and dress, I still have one last strong point, that is, I don't look like a pauper now, but I can say rudely that I am a pauper now. I'm still a single dog. It's all girls' fault!
"Hey! Can't a girl rush in to find me, crying and asking me to be her boyfriend?"
I was almost hypnotized by Mr. Ma Zhe, and gradually began to have my first daydream before lunch. In the dream, a lovely girl in a white floral dress rushed into the big classroom. She had two long ponytails, one was not tall, and her figure was somewhat remarkable. The only fly in the ointment was that she seemed to hold a dying unknown creature in her hand. Is it the Tongren rabbit?
The girl's big eyes scanned every face looking at her in the classroom. Finally, she succeeded in fixing my existence among hundreds of students. Is this the predestined marriage? Although I'm a little short, as an Opstar person, I don't mind at all!
The girl in the dream, as I expected, when she recognized me, she cried, she came, she threw the unknown creature in her hand at me! Huh? Wait... Why do I have unknown organisms in my dreams!
"Mengze, help!"
"I trust~"
Suddenly, I was hit by an unknown creature, and I was directly hit under the desk. The pain made me wake up at once. When I saw a man's face only half an inch away from me, I conditionally scolded, and then waved out with a slap!
"Pa!"
The loud and clear voice spread throughout the classroom.
"Ouch, it's killing me, Mengze. Look clearly, it's me! Your roommate Lu Tiannan!"
Hearing the other person claiming to be Lv Tiannan, I resisted the impulse to hit people, sat on the ground and carefully looked at the unknown organism in front of me, only to find that it was really my roommate Lv Tiannan. He was dressed as a bartender and had short black hair that was shiny enough to kill flies. His handsome face seemed to be uneven at present, It should be the slap I just gave you that worked! Watching him cover his left cheek and bared his teeth in pain, I shouted in my heart, "Cool!"!
"Bullshit, of course I know you, beast. You have a girlfriend in the whole dormitory. You even covet my beauty. It's polite to slap you!"
"Don't be poor. Get up from the ground quickly. Our little ancestor is going to issue a decree! Ouch... My face hurts!"
Lv Tiannan lifted me up from the ground with another hand that did not cover my face. At the same time, the girl with two ponytails suddenly stood out from behind Lv Tiannan, and when she saw me raise her hand, she would fight! There is only one girl who is prone to violence at any time in my mind, that is, the minister of my department of supernatural affairs, Tian Yuan, who is only 1.65 meters tall. Although she is the same age as me, she is already a sophomore girl!
"Cough! Cough! Don't make a noise, students behind you. You have disturbed the normal sleep time of other students! Also, it's time for class now. Don't stand up. Even if you don't learn, don't block the big white wall behind you."
It is said that students abuse me thousands of times. I treat students as if they were in love for the first time. My teacher of philosophy Ma did a good job. It is estimated that in his teaching career, this kind of girl who broke into the classroom and threw herself into the classroom saw too many of them, so naturally she didn't take it seriously. After a word attracted several laughter from other students, everyone began to do their own work again. The lecture of the lecture, the sleep of the sleep, people and ghosts have different paths, do not interfere with each other!
I couldn't help praising the teacher who saved my life. Just because he saved my life today, I decided not to hang up with him this year. At the same time, the little grandpa, who had raised his hands, was naturally embarrassed to hit me again after listening to the teacher's words. His face suddenly turned red, and he did not know whether he was angry or ashamed. Reluctantly, he sat down between me and Lu Tiannan.
"Sit down!"
With the sound of pastoral sitting, Lv Tiannan and I sat three seats away from her at the same time.
"Liu Mengze, I have thorns!"
"Uh..."
I tightened my collar, "I'm afraid I have."
"Come here for me."
The so-called good men don't fight with women. In the face of evil forces, I choose to yield! As soon as he lifted his buttocks, he sat down beside the garden. At the same time, Lv Tiannan also sat down with him. Maybe the garden was really bad today. As soon as Lv Tiannan sat down, the angry garden punched him in the face, and then... Then my brother fell asleep on his stomach, and he slept peacefully.
"Pa! Pa!"
After relieving his anger, Tian Yuan clapped his hands. After I sacrificed a teammate, the murderous look on my face has also eased a lot. He rubbed his aching little hand, looked at me with a pathetic expression, and asked, "Hey! You have no conscience, do you know who I am?"
"I should know."
"Then you haven't come to see me for so long."
"Busy!"
"You are a man. No matter how busy you are, you must take responsibility for me!"
"Well..."
I turned around and coughed. It was obvious that even I had misunderstood something in this conversation. I took a deep breath, and then whispered to the countryside beside me, rubbing my hands again: "I said, minister, I just didn't report to the Department of Spirituality for two months, you don't have to say so sensational!"
"You are so kind to say! Our department of supernatural affairs is in big trouble this time. The school requires all ministers to submit their own activity reports. If they can't pass, the department may be abolished. But we haven't done any activities in the past six months. Now you are the only man in our department. You must take the main responsibility and come up with solutions!"
"Whoa, whoa! Calm down! Calm down! It's a big joke. The only man, what's wrong with my outstanding and experienced seniors? In the two months I haven't been there, something earth shaking happened in our supernatural department, which led to their collective self mutilation!"
Heard me say this, the countryside was like a ball of gas, lying on the table at once, with her chin against the table with all kinds of notes written on it, complaining: "They said I am not as attractive as my former minister. They took away the feeling of their heartbeat, so they all left for the basketball department!"
I pointed to Lv Tiannan, who was about to rise next to me. "Where is he? He has also retreated!"
"He is an animal, chasing all the girls in our department. If I take away the heartbeat of men, then he takes away the heartbeat of women. Alas... my good sisters have left to learn Buddhism."
"It's really a plastic sisterhood. I chose to flee at the moment when the supernatural department was in such a crisis. I will go to the Buddhist Department to sign my name and die with them!"
"Don't you dare!"
Then Tianyuan raised his small fist to me, as if in a demonstration, "Come up with a solution for me before lunch, otherwise, be careful of my fist!"
Looking at the eager little ancestor, I pinched my sore eyebrows and said:
"Please, Little Ancestor, the Astronomy Department can also take two photos of stars to fool the students of the audit team, but we are the department of ghosts. Why don't I catch a ghost for you to interview? This report is not easy to write, and it is easy to be labeled as spreading heresy and feudal superstition."
"It's your responsibility to listen or not. You can help me!"
"Whatever you say, you are the minister. How about being reasonable?"
"I'm a woman, so I'm unreasonable!"
“……”
