Zhuge Yi woke up in a daze. He took half a bottle of mineral water from the side of his bed and drank it at one go. Yesterday, he drank too much. He got up and opened the curtains. It was already dark. He sat on the window and lit a cigarette. His eyes looked out of the window in confusion.
Zhuge Yi is now very depressed. When he is middle-aged, his company has gone bankrupt, his house and car have paid off debts, and his wife has left with the children. It can be said that he has nothing. Moreover, he has no source of income now, and he is discouraged. He doesn't want to find a job, but lives on credit cards. For Zhuge Yi, there is no hope for life, so he gave up.
Now Zhuge Yi is in Chongqing. He plans to travel for the last time with the only amount left in his credit card. Next, he plans to go to Spring City, where he will survive.
Zhuge Yi took a cigarette and looked at the people outside who had been busy all day. He was very clear about his current situation and knew that he had mental illness, but he could not jump out of the crowd and return to the crowd. He had read a book before and recently went to the Xinhua Bookstore in Jiefangbei.
That's a description of the mental illness in the Squadron of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders of the American Psychiatric Association in the book of financial psychology. One of the classifications is desperate personality disorder:
1. The patient feels pessimistic or empty;
2. Often feel hopeless, guilty and powerless;
3. Loss of interest in daily affairs;
4. May have sleep and eating disorders, often thinking of death or suicide;
5. May be agitated;
6. Some may also have bipolar disorder.
These descriptions are exactly the same as those of Zhuge Yi now. After reading them, Zhuge Yi felt relieved. It's a strange comfort. But he knows that his illness and cure are two different things, just as there is often no hope in the description. Zhuge Yi tried to comfort himself.
After smoking a cigarette and lighting a cigarette, he now enjoys his own loneliness.
Zhuge Yi was a positive and optimistic person before, whose mantra was "more ways than difficulties". Although he was born in a single parent family, his mother divorced his father because of poverty, and he lived with his father, he was still full of hope for the future. I remember once when my aunt asked him what he wanted to do in the future, Zhuge Yi said to work hard and become a family, Let the children not be so pitiful as themselves.
But the reality is cruel. Now Zhuge Yi has a deep understanding of the saying "life is lonely", just as the poem says:
No one stands with me at dusk, and no one asks me whether my porridge can be warm.
No one turns out the lamp with me, and no one works with me for half my life.
No one to accompany me at night, no one to share wine with me.
No one wipes my lovesickness tears, no one dreams of me and the past.
No one will accompany me to look at the stars. No one will wake up. My tea is cold.
No one listens to my heart, no one understands my dream.
No one holds my tears in my words, no one worries about my way alone.
Looking back at the bleak place, no one waited at the dim lights.
After quietly smoking two cigarettes, Zhuge Yi went to take a bath and then squinted. At 7:30, the downstairs restaurant began to serve breakfast, so he went down to have breakfast. This was Zhuge Yi's meal to keep his body running all day. When he came back to sleep, it was already afternoon when he opened his eyes again. He was ready to go out to drink. It was also his second meal of the day, To be precise, it's a meal of wine. Zhuge Yi has been living this life for a month, and he has been used to this kind of life.
Zhuge Yi walked alone in the bustling Jiefangbei Square and looked at the crowd indifferently. There were sweetness of lovers, warmth of parents and children, and laughter between brothers or friends, but these had nothing to do with him. His heart was lonely, which was like a game for Zhuge Yi. People on the street were NPC, His life is just a single game that can be ended at any time.
He followed the crowd to Hongya Cave, which was his favorite scenic spot. He would come to Chongqing to sit down every time he came to Chongqing. Zhuge Yi thought of playing here with his wife and children, and smiled bitterly. Those are gone forever, just like thinking of other people's stories, but he unconsciously opened his mobile phone to look at the previous photos, As if these stories had something to do with him, his heart was full of bitterness. Put your mobile phone in your pocket, light a cigarette and stare at the Jialing River. One cigarette was smoked out unconsciously.
Zhuge Yi found a bar nearby, ordered beer and some snacks, sat down near the river and began his dinner. After a while, a beautiful woman came to the table next to him and ordered a bottle of beer. Zhuge Yi took a look at it and continued to drink. Now he has no interest in beautiful women. Only wine can numb him. He drank cup by cup quickly. Several snacks were basically still. Later, he went to order a beer.
When she got back to her seat, the beautiful woman went to ask Zhuge Yi to help her look at things. She went to the bathroom and looked at the beautiful woman in front of her. She was wearing a Sketchy sports suit. It was very sunny. Zhuge Yi nodded. The beautiful woman looked at Zhuge Yi and nodded and left. Soon a black man came from the next table, Steadily added a little white powder to the beauty's beer cup, and when he saw Zhuge Yi, he gave a bad smile and said, "It's none of your business", then the black people returned to his place. Later, several black people were whispering. Of course, Zhuge Yi could understand what he meant and didn't say anything at once. After a while, the beautiful woman came back. Zhuge Yi walked up to her and said, "Don't drink this wine, someone has put medicine in it." Then he poured the wine on the floor. Without waiting for the girl to respond, she returned to her seat. The girl thought Zhuge Yi was holding her up, and looked at Zhuge Yi with disdain. At the same time, Zhuge Yi could feel several dark eyes staring at him.
Zhuge Yi casually lit a cigarette when a black man came up with a bottle of beer. "Stripping, Have a beer, The beer bottle broke at the sound of the sound, and the black people cried out in pain. Several other black people came to see their companions were beaten. Zhuge Yi shouted, "You niggers, this is China, you want to harm Chinese girls, and I will see if I don't kill you niggers." Although the words were fierce, Zhuge Yi's body, hollowed out by alcohol, could not be the opponent of several black people, After a few moments, Zhuge Yi was knocked to the ground. The owner of the bar heard Zhuge Yi yelling and watched some black people beat Zhuge Yi. He immediately shouted, "Stop! I'm calling the police." As soon as several black people heard that someone was going to call the police, they all ran away. The owner of the bar ran to Zhuge Yi and helped him up, saying, "Brother, you are a man. Don't worry about the surveillance in the store. None of them can run away." The knowledgeable boss naturally guessed the cause and effect of the incident. Zhuge Yi moved his arm and felt a little pain on his face and body. These black people attacked very hard and said, "It's OK. I haven't fought for a long time. You can turn down the monitor. The black guy administered drugs and the video can find out." The beauty also came, and then she knew what was going on, The man in front of him was beaten because of her. He was ashamed and said to Zhuge Yi, "Thank you. Let me take you to the hospital.". After saying that, he was going to take Zhuge Yi away. The owner of the bar saw that all the black people had run away and wanted to calm the matter down, so he said that both of them would be free.
In fact, Zhu Geyi didn't want others to repay him. He was just a bit of nationalism, which made him unable to watch. He didn't want to be famous. Now so many people come to watch, he just wanted to go as soon as possible, find a safe place to continue drinking, so he went out of the bar with the beautiful woman, Out of the bar, he said to the beauty, "I'm fine. You should pay attention to your own safety. I'm leaving."
She refused and insisted on taking Zhuge Yi to the hospital. Zhuge Yi was very impatient and wondered what a NPC had to do with him. She said to her impatiently, "It's really nothing. I have to find a place to drink. Go."
Seeing that Zhuge Yi insisted on leaving, the beauty had to say, "Let me invite you to eat hot pot. There is a fat man with rotten hot pot in front of us. Let's drink together."
Zhuge Yi was stunned. He used to go to that fat man's rotten hot pot restaurant. He first ate Chongqing hot pot with his wife in that restaurant. Later, he went to that restaurant with his clients. It was clear from the memory that Zhuge Yi was lost in thought. The beauty thought Zhuge Yi didn't want to go, and hurriedly said what you wanted to eat. There was a lot of food nearby. Zhuge Yi casually said, "This is the place." They walked to the hotpot restaurant.
