Primer
At the end of the year, on a wet and cold evening after rain and snow, Chen Yong, who worked in the power bureau, returned home. His wife, Xu Lijuan, was preparing dinner. He took off his scarf and went into the inner room. He put his satchel on the desk and sat down. He rubbed his hands and took out his mobile phone. Xu Lijuan shouted:
"Chen Yong, come and help wash the dishes. Don't play with your mobile phone again"
"No, I'll make a phone call,"
Chen Yong looked at the number on his mobile phone, hesitated for a while or called. He was wondering how to address the other party? It seems a bit impolite to call him by his first name. In the past few years, President Han used to call him by his first name. That's the problem of the whole society. The name is obscene, which is not good. I used to call him what I wanted to call him, but now I have to think about it. What's the matter? No one answered the phone and dialed it again. For a long time, the other party finally heard a voice,
"Hello, Chen Yong."
"Oh, brother Han, how are you? Will you go back to the mine this year for the Spring Festival?" He finally found a title that felt good.
"Not necessarily, depending on the situation, there are many things here."
Alas, I'm afraid I won't see you again. In fact, Brother Han... "He paused and waited for a reply.
"Hey“
"I said that in the whole life of a person, if you don't bring it with you, if you don't bring it with you, if you don't have money, don't care too much... You can just live."
"Ah, yes, yes..." The other side seemed to have something in his mouth, but he didn't come out.
"Well, let's do it first. I'll call you next time"
"Well, hey, there will always be a chance to meet old classmates,
"Good, good, talk next time, talk next time" He put away his mobile phone after the other party hung up the phone.
At the dinner table, Xu Lijuan tore at the roast chicken leg and said discontentedly, "Why do you always call him every year? Every time you find an excuse to shirk, who is it? A classmate looks like an elder. If you don't want to see him, you will disappear."
Chen Yong put down his chopsticks and sighed: "You don't know, alas, they are all from the mine, and his life is not good. He has painted in Shenzhen for many years, but it is still the same. There is nothing left in his 30s. I don't know what to do there?"
"This kind of person should keep a distance. He didn't ask you to lend him money, did he?" Xu Lijuan sucked the wine and glanced over the rim of the cup at Chen Yong.
"Women's heart, do you know why we have been together for so long since we were young? What can happen to the problem of money?
Chen Yong took up his job and ate it. He said mysteriously:
"Guess what I found on the bookstall today?"
"Apart from the books that are on sale every day, what is there to make a fuss about?"
"Han Yu wrote a book. At first, I thought it was someone with the same name and surname. Open it and have a look. Hey, it's him who wrote an autobiography."
"Oh? Oh, it's also autobiographical. It's not a famous person, but a down and out ordinary person. Who can see it? Just write," she poured the wine into her mouth and belched contentedly.
Chen Yong rolled his eyes and said, "I will see."
After dinner, he sat back at his desk, opened his satchel and took out the book. The title of the book, When Will I Never Miss You Like This, was written on the grayish yellow hard cover. The author: Han Yu, without a preface, wrote a sentence on the title page:
You are the poor people's worry about all losses, and you are the unexpected touch of those who lose their heart,
Chen Yong got up to make a pot of tea and watched it slowly.
A classmate gathering
At the end of December 2003, an old schoolmate strongly invited me to return to the mine for the Spring Festival. He said that there was a schoolmate gathering and he didn't want to go back. In fact, his parents didn't care much about it. They also had a promising son. I won't bring any benefits to anyone when I go back. At that time, I painted commodity paintings in a small room in Guangzhou, and my income was only for living. Chen Yong also knew the situation. Why did he want me to go back? Very strange? I can't say it back. When I go back to see my acquaintances, they will humiliate themselves. Who can't be snobbish? One must be self aware. One should not be affected by mildew. But Chen Yong's words changed my insistence. He said:
"President Han, this reunion is the old guy of our class 53. This time, we will set up a reunion, and everyone in that year must be present. It's a rare opportunity, isn't it? Our life is just standing on the original point of the past, scraping through the past? Come back, let everyone have a complete memory."
Class 53 is the first class in Grade One of senior high school. It is the classroom where we first met Li Ling. It is the place where our love sprouts. It is the fresh and tender memory in the growing, aging and rough body. The idea of never seeing her again would collapse at the chance. Will she go? I will definitely go. Chen Yong said that not everyone must be there. I didn't call to confirm, but I went with this feeling of expectation and fear. Although ridiculous, she may have married early and had a child. Do you want to bless her when meeting? Will the blessing be ironic? It's her choice. How wrong am I? At that time, I didn't want to break my heart, did I? Perhaps, just for the sake of economy and better life for her family, she has dedicated herself to the altar of worldly affairs. I have nothing to say. You and I are secular people. Is worldly affairs just a matter of settling down? What about being single? What about poverty? I don't speak, just look at her with a smile, see her submission, see her bloated, don't sigh, don't say helpless, and I don't expect to have any chance to look at her again, almost solemn and stirring to guard the old age alone, do you sacrifice? Do you mutilate yourself? Feel free to think about it, but she would not say a word if she left without saying a word to herself? Maybe she is right. The love of trying to get married cannot be connected. In this materialistic society, what kind of feelings do you always talk about? Don't you feel that you are incompatible with this society? I hope she is happy.
The party was held in a hotel near Xiangshi, not far from the mine. I went late. I didn't necessarily see her when I went early. Other students didn't have the old feelings of their old classmates, but they didn't know how much more snobbery they had on the old feelings. They bought cheap clean black clothes with a little money. Half an hour later than the appointed time, I walked into the hotel. The hotel and funeral home were only one word short of pronunciation, Yes, we are here to remember the lost youth. The scene is very lively and everyone is very excited. Once the group of young faces and voices, wrapped in thick wind and frost, seemed to have run out of the distant years, shouted loudly, shouted the other party's soon unknown name, rushed to beat with young movements, and seemed to be back to the age of 16. The stiff heart will also be assimilated. I am filled with emotion and smile. This is the most meaningful moment of all student gatherings. Don't talk too much. Let's just talk about the past, not about the present, not about the future. Don't think that the 16-year-old flower season will open again. Some female students began to cry more eyes wet and tight lips. They saw how bright their years were, Has been forever collected by time.
I looked for the familiar figure in the crowd sensitively. No, was I late or didn't come at all? Finding Chen Yong, who was so happy that he was sweating, he took me to ask Wang Hao, the classmate who was specially responsible for contacting, and Wang Hao frowned:
"You don't know... Li Ling... passed away a few months ago."
I looked at him, thinking that he had made a mistake or heard the wrong thing, and asked Li Ling why she didn't come.
"I got cancer," Wang Hao shook his head. "God is jealous of the beauty. I went to the memorial meeting with several classmates that day. Don't ask me, but I feel sad."
He passed on the cold death message. There was no trace of a lie on his face. He showed a little pity and stopped talking.
He lied to me? Why? Apart from Chen Yong, no one here should know my relationship with her, right? He didn't cheat? Why cheat? Really? How come I never heard of her having physical problems before? If she died, I would die too, wouldn't I? Why else are you still alive? What's the point? Did she know she had a terminal illness before she left me? Really? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no? Do you want me to go with you? Han Yu, come on, we all said that life and death are together. I forgive you, and you forgive me, too. I don't blame you, Li Ling, but why did you leave? Without saying goodbye, can you hurt me like this? I think I can't help blurring my eyes,
When I walked out of the hotel, I didn't know where I was. Yes, I had to go to see her. At least I could find her. I still talked to the photos every other day. I went to her house, but I would also go there if I didn't welcome her. Chen Yong called at this time:
"President Han, I just knew about Li Ling... I didn't expect that you'd better come back and take a group photo with everyone first."
"... No, Li Ling is still taking some photos when she's gone. I'm leaving."
"Don't hang up. There's another important thing. Li Ling asked me to put a package in your house. Go back to the mine first."
"Oh?... OK."
After many years, I took the bus back to the mine again. The bus was full of old and young people I didn't know, and there were lots of bags everywhere. In the heavy bumpy local accent, the past was full of memories
