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Today I saw a blog post saying that“ In recent years, young men have a tendency to increase impotence. Male impotence caused by women's over advocating equal enjoyment of sexual behavior is a new type of impotence. ”Deeply aware of the subtle changes in social gender, the impact on people's sex has been very obvious, and I can't restrain the impulse to write. Here, I would like to discuss the views on men's and women's sexual ability.

Professor Peng Xiaohui's concept: sexual ability is the generation of sexual excitement / The underlying physiology of sexual arousal and orgasm - Psychological ability. It includes the physiological functions of sex (i.e. the number and quality of sperm and eggs, the level of sex hormone, the neuroreflex regulation system, the responsiveness to sexual stimulation, the degree of erection or vaginal lubrication, the threshold of self acquired sexual pleasure (orgasm), etc.); It also includes the psychological functions of sex: sexual desire, sensitivity to capture sexual information, sexual pleasure, the ability to maintain physical and mental health through sexual activities, and the ability to establish and maintain intimate relationships. In other words, sexual ability should be a term of "autonomy", not a term of "otherness". Sexual ability can only be reflected in sexual relations, which is the carrier of sexual ability. Sexual interaction includes: attraction to sexual partners, ability to please sexual partners, number of sexual activities, duration of sexual activities, ability to let sexual partners obtain sexual pleasure (orgasm), emotional basis, communication and communication of sexual issues, etc.

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As the rights and status of women in our society gradually improve, women's demand for sexual satisfaction also gradually emerges. More and more women can't stand the tasteless sex life. They think they have the right to sexual satisfaction and will take the initiative to ask for it. This phenomenon changes the sexual relationship. When the relationship changes, the sexual ability of both men and women will also change. Because the carrier changes, the appearance will change. Just like the same painting, under different light conditions, the visual effect is completely different. A real case: a husband who married a woman he didn't love, when he was newly married, his husband and wife lived together 1-2 second / Month, now four He didn't have sex in 1997, but he fantasized about the number of times his beloved woman masturbated 1-2 second / Weeks. How do we evaluate his sexual ability? If according to his wife's description, it is enough to diagnose impotence. If from his perspective, we cannot make this diagnosis. This is the performance of the sexual ability of the husband and wife in such a sexual relationship. It cannot be said that the sexual ability of the husband and wife must be like this. In other words, the evaluation of sexual ability cannot be separated from the relationship level. Even masturbation can be regarded as the sexual relationship between oneself and oneself.

Therefore, it is not that women's pursuit of orgasm is excessive, nor that men's inability to meet women is impotence. The sexual life of husband and wife should first focus on the relationship level and emotional level, which is the basis. If there is no problem at this level, it will be meaningful to consider the sexual ability shown in this relationship! Otherwise, there will be blind exaggeration or denial of a person's sexual ability, which is very harmful to the individual's mental health. There are too many patients with inferiority complex due to their "low" sexual ability in clinic! This is a painful lesson. It should not continue to happen! “ The assertion that male impotence is a new type of impotence caused by women's excessive advocacy of equal enjoyment of sexual behavior is even more absurd. It not only adds a certain label of "new impotence", but also criticizes women's behavior of striving for sexual pleasure rights. From the perspective of sexual medicine and sociology, it is a serious regression!